Welcome To My Life
by MidnightRazorHeart
Summary: The demigod children live and go to highschool and try to blend in while suppressing their god-given abilities. Nico Di Angelo is attending his first year of highschool as he struggles to be normal. He goes through many inner battles while others insist on making things harder for him. When an unexpected person reaches out to him and changes him. MORE DESCRIPTION IN FIRST CHAPTER
1. Chapter 1

**Description: The Greek Gods have a mortal-world domain as well as what they rule over. Each god also has children. These demigod children go to a regular high school, with their godly abilities. In this school they interact with each other and mortals while trying to suppress and embrace their abilities and find their place in the mortal world. Nico Di Angela is an angsty depressed freshman in this school where he struggles to suppress his abilities and to fit in. Throughout the experience, Nico goes through multiple internal battles that shake his world until an unexpected person reaches out to him. **

**Rated M for Strong Subject Matter**

**Setting: Mortal world**

**Genres: Angst, Hurt and Comfort, Romance, **

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The city was loud and dangerous at night. The only light source around were street lamps, though they did not give much light due to many of the bulbs had been broken from a children's game. The sounds of screams, yells, and gun shots echoed throughout the eerie streets. Tires squealed in the distance, accompanied by angry barking of dogs. Doors were shut tight and locked to prevent anyone from entering, or leaving. Many of the buildings had broken windows or were beginning to breakdown. Trash and empty syringes littered the ground. A mixture of wet cigarettes, sewage, molding food, car exhaust, and sweat perfumed the chilly air. No one wondered the streets at this hour, except for those few who had a low I.Q. or wanted to die. The shadows seemed to take on a life of their own as they flowed and slithered from every nook, cranny, and ally way.

This is where I walked down the street on the grey cracked sidewalk. I focused on the concrete directly in front of my shoes, not needing to look up. I never looked around me when I walked at night –or in general for that matter-, I never needed to. No one wanted to associate with me, and I wanted nothing to do with them.

My steps gradually began to slow, finally coming to a stop as I stared down at the small red stains on the sidewalk. The trail had gone from a few drops to a little puddle the size of a fist. I breathed in through my nose, smelling the strong scent of fear and despair. Gently I lifted up my head and looked into the dark abyss of the space between two large buildings. The ally way was darker than the night sky, yet nothing compared to the blankness I had com accustomed to. I took a couple steps in and gazed at the brick wall kissing the dirty ground. A man slouched against the wall, holding his bleeding chest. I instantly knew that he was dead.

_Then why do I sense life?_

"Mew?"

A tiny cat crept out from behind the man's back, it's head squeezing through the tight crevice with a small '_pop'_.

"Mew," The tiny cat repeated, as if it's suspicions were confirmed. I stared at the little creature as it walked up to me, it's small paws gently patting the ground. It's caramel fur was dirtied and matted with what appeared to be dried blood and sewage water.

"Mew," it repeated again, this time sitting at my feet and looking up.

_Why are you so close to me? What do you want? What is wrong with you; no one ever comes to me from their own free will. _

I ignored the cat and turned around to leave the ally.

"Hey kid," a gruff voice growled from the darkness behind me. I ignored the man and began my way out of the ally and back to the street.

"I'm talking to you retard!"

I strode on the street heading to my original destination, the obviously delayed kitten following me.

"You wanna die?!"

His shout runs through me, stopping me in my tracks.

"Mew?"

_Did he… just… threaten me?_

"Heh heh heh, that's right," I hear him say, his voice a couple feet behind me, "Turn around if you ain't stupid."

I turn and look at the tall man; he's dressed in multiple coats that look as though they've been through a war. His pants are tattered and stained in multiple places. The man's hair is cut unevenly short, causing his ugly snickering face to be clearly visible. He stares down at me with a hungry look in his eyes as if I'm his prey.

_This mortal has no idea what he is getting himself into._

"Nice jacket you got there. What else you got kid?"

He holds a pistol at his side. I turn to walk away.

"Make one more move and I shoot!"

I stop turning midway and look down at my feet. The dirty kitten walks between my legs, it's tail weaving invisible string through and around them.

_Just how stupid are you kitty?_

"That's right. Now take the jacket off and empty your pockets," The armed man commands me.

I don't move.

"I said empty your pockets kid!"

I still don't move.

"That's it mother fucker," he growls, stomping over to me. The man takes hold of my shoulder and shoves me to look up at him. He spits in my face, the metal gun held up to my head with his other hand, "I'll kill you!"

I slowly lift my head and look into his eyes. All the anger is replaced with fear as his predator demeanor vanishes. Beads of sweat instantly dot his forehead and the short hairs on his head seem to stand up.

"Wh-what kind of freak are you?"

_Freak_

In one quick motion I grab the wrist holding the gun and break it. The many bones crunch in my palm.

"GGGAAAAHHHH-!"

His cry in pain is cut short as I reach my other hand up and grip his neck.

"You're first mistake was targeting me. You're worst mistake was calling me a freak," I say with no emotion.

His eyes go wide and seem to plead for mercy. His lips begin to form a word, although any talking is now pointless. I grip is throat tighter and feel a pop and a snap. I throw the lip body down to the ground and it falls with one large heap. The tiny kitten slowly walks to the dead man and sniffs it, then walks back over to me and once again weaves between my legs, its tail curving around my ankles.

"You've got a death wish kitty."


	2. Chapter 2

**If you are reading this right now it means you have not given up on my shitty ideas and think they might be okay or good. I thank you for that. :) please enjoy!**

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The kitten once again follows me as I continue to walk in the night. She stays about two feet behind me the whole time. I ignore her. She will go away. They always do.

I walk deeper into the city. Buildings seem to be falling apart, shops have broken windows, and there is less noise although you can hear it in the distance.

I keep going.

The buildings begin to look like they are decomposing. The active shops become less and less. All the lights are busted out. The shadows seem to move to mortals, yet i know the shadows truly are moving.

The small cat becomes on guard. She should. She shouldn't be here. Truly, she shouldn't have followed me from the start. This kitten is strange. I think I'm starting to appreciate this weird little animal.

I keep walking. Everything is dark. The buildings stand tall and block any light from any outer source. Shadows seep into every nook and cranny, even open space is dark. There are no voices, no bodies. No lights. It is all darkness here.

I keep walking. The kitten keeps following.

Creatures of the dark of all kinds walk around here. The shadows move. Dark vines grow on the deteriorating buildings. A pomegranate tree grows every 80 feet. Different jewels litter the ground, it's suicide to collect them. Large and small cracks can be found on the ground everywhere. They lead down to the underworld.

Nothing living of the mortal world belongs here, yet the cat continues to follow me, hissing with every step. I see a harpy in the sky, she swoops down and lands in front of me.

"The cat. Is it yyoouuurrsss?"

I stand still, void of emotion.

"What if it is."

I feel the small calico kitten getting ready to defend if needed. Shes not brave, shes stupid.

The harpy bares her fangs. I can feel her hunger. "I want it."

I sigh and kneel down, the kitten comes right up to me. I continue to look the harpy in the eye as I pick up the kitten in my arms and stand once again.

"The cat is not food. Now go."

The kitten hisses in my arms at the harpy.

The harpy growls the takes flight once more.

I once again continue my walk deeper into the city. I am in the heart, now i need to go to the center of the heart.

I hold the kitten in my arms as I walk, head down and ignoring all that is around me. The kitten stares around at everything but makes no move to defend or harm. The damn thing knows I will protect it.

A large house can be seen in the distance. It's design is old, and should be crumbled yet it is the most in-tact building around.

I walk through the mixture of skeletons, hellhounds, and harpies until I reach the house. No one tries anything with me.

I'm the son of Hades.

Of coarse they don't try anything.

I walk up the steps and will the large double doors to open. I enter the silent house and the doors shut behind me.

The cat jumps out of my arms and begins to circle my legs, I ignore it.

"Nico?"

I turn to my left and see my sister Hazel walking to me. She is my sister because she is another child of Hades-or an aspect-, but is a bit different than I. Many people think we are adopted because of this, yet no one knows our parents so we never need to worry.

"Are you okay? I was worried about you. OH! Is that a... Kitten?!"

I nod and look down at her as she kneels down and begins to pet the happy kitten.

"Yeah. The stupid thing followed me home."

Hazel looks up at me, "That's strange...No living things from the mortal world ever comes near here. If they do they run or get eaten."

"Almost did by a harpy. I picked it up and told her to go."

Hazel continues to pet the calico but stares at me. She seems to be concerned or curious. I'm not concerned at all.

"Well," she says standing up with the cat in her arms, "Have you named her?"

I shake my head slightly.

She coos the kitten and the kitten rubs against her cheek, "Well. I'll name her... Mocha, for the way she reminds me of mocha coffee."

I smirk, "you sure it has nothing to do with your skin color?"

I say it with a slight upbeat tone. She knows I'm teasing her.

"Hey," Hazel playfully shoves me, "don't be a jerk Nico," and she laughs.

I give a slight smile. Hazel is the only one who doesn't get nervous around me and who knows when I am showing emotion.

"Alright. So her name will be Mocha for whatever reasons I decided on and that's that."

I nod and begin to walk away, planning to go to my room.

"Hey wait!"

The kitten- now Mocha- jumps in front of me and sits, looking up. Her tail happily swishing side to side.

"Awe...Seems she likes you Nico."

I turn my head and give Hazel a glare yet she only giggles. I look back down at Mocha. She purrs.

Sighing I ignore the kitten and continue to walk to my room down the hall. Hazel does not follow, she knows better. The kitten is not as smart.

The house is large for a house, but it is not a mansion. Father, has his castle in the underworld. This house in the heart of the city is just his staying location in the mortal world. Every god has an area in the mortal world. Father's area is the heart of the worst shit city. His domain is in this location.

Other gods have different domains in the mortal world where things manifest and reside much like here.

I walk up the three-sets stairs up to the fourth floor and then to the back hallway. Ignoring the view out the window. I pull the ceiling door open and pull the ladder down and climb up into the attic. This is my room.

The kitten jumps up on each rung and then jumps onto the attic floor. Stupid animal.

I pull the ladder up and the door. I am alone in my "room".

The attic is cold-although most of the house is cold-and dank. I keep it clean. There is only one electrical light fan attached from the roof/ceiling, the rest of light sources come from candles I rarely have lit. There are two small windows. One looking out over the back, one looking out over the front. The floor is wooden and some nails stick up. The roof is strong and stable and never leaks but there is no insulation. Wooden beams hold up the roof and a row of four support beams goes along the center of the floor to ceiling. The walls are unpainted dark wood, same for the floor, beams, and ceiling.

I have my king-sized bed near the front, the head against the low diagonal ceiling and small wall. The blankets red and black. My tall book shelf is in the center of the 18 by 15 attic against the center wooden beam. The book shelf is over flowing with my books, books are scattered around the attic. My dresser is near the entrance to the attic near the back. I have jackets hanging from the ceiling/roof above my dresser. My desk is across from my bed against the other roof/wall. A laptop sits waiting on my desk, among pens, pencil, paper and a few sketchbooks under the desk. A small pile of dirty clothes lies on the floor in the center behind the book self against the wall, out of the way. I have a bed-side table with drawers between the front wall and my bed. I have a second dresser near my bed closer to the center of the room. On it, my tools... Around the room I have band posters and my drawings and other items hanging or taped on the ceiling, walls, and support beams.

I walk in and flop onto my bed. Macha walks over to my pile of clothes and snuggles up into them.

"You like those huh?"

The only reply I get from the kitten is silence of her sleeping.

I roll my eyes and turn so I can look out the small window.

Hazel and I have lived in this house our whole lives. We've either walked, had the hellhounds shadow-travel us, or I've shadow traveled us to the schools we've gone to. As children it was harder to keep the secret that we were not mere mortals and how to explain how lives. It was also complicated when a parent needed to come into school or sign something. When that happened, one of the demons always took on a human form and filled in what needed to be done, although there is never any affection. The parent-fill-ins only go through the motions necessary to fool the mortals enough.

Since Hazel and I have been old enough to go to schools, we've jumped from school to school. We normally spend about three years at the same school. We've never done any extra things or gone to the parent-child activities. We don't go on field trips or get involved in school clubs. It was harder to blend when we were younger but as we got into the older grades, we just became the outcasts.

Hazel has always had it easier than I. She talks to others, laughs, can blend in better and spend time. They just think shes weird. Normally she goes and blends with the goth or punk kids. She says they accept that she's a bit different and don't ask questions. Some are rude and others are kind to her. But its never been like that for me. Hazel is able to express herself more easily than I can. Hazel can't do the things I can do.

I can't talk to people easily. I don't have the same sense of humor as everyone else. I think differently and don't like to be around many people. They are too much for me to be comfortable. People fear me and do not understand. They look at me and quickly look away, trying to pretend I am not there. I make them nervous. I do not have to say a word, I do not even have to look at them. People instantly do not like me. They talk about me. Sometimes the "brave" and "cool" ones will say shit to me. I've always held it in and not cared. I'm alone. That's fine. I don't need them. They would never understand anyways.

That is how elementary and middle school always were, each in their own way but always the same. That hurt as a kid, I grew to ignore it. Now i don't feel it, nor do I care. Now Hazel and I are going into our first year of high school. A different district.

Father last week came up and told us that we will be going to a high school in a decent area. He said that it is possible other demi-god children are going to this high school. He said that he hopes that this school will be easier for us since it is a mixture of mortals and demi-gods. I don't believe him. Every school is horrible.

What I was just coming back from was the school. I went to see it. The high school is about an hour away so Hazel and I will have to shadow travel. The school is enormous. There are classes for every thing you could imagine being taught in a school. Five different language classes, seven different artistic classes, and four computer classes. There is a team for every sport that has competition. There are multiple history, language arts, math, and science classes to choose from. There are multiple different club activities.

Every mortal student's dream for a school with this many options. For me though, it's a hazard. A larger school with more to offer means more students. More students and activities means more cliques. More cliques means harder for me to blend in. Which means I will stand out, and that is more problems for me.

I fall asleep in my clothes thinking about how shitty the high school was going to be for me. I was wrong.

It was worse.

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**If you are reading this right now, it means you have nto given up on me and you are interested. I love you for that. :) :P comment, ideas, advice, critique, favorite, follow. Thanks ^_^ 3**


	3. Chapter 3

**If you are still here, i will ship chocolate cookies to your residence. Thank you ^_^  
I DO NOT OWN THE BOOK "THE BOOK THIEF" ALL RIGHTS TO THE BOOK GOES TO THE AUTHOR MARKUS ZUSAK. I AM NOT PUBLISHING IT AGAIN OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT. I AM SIMPLY RE-STATING SOME OF THE LINES FROM THE BOOK FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSELESS AND ADMIRATION OF THE WORK. I REPEAT. I DO NOT PLAN TO PUBLISH OR OWN THE BOOK AND IT'S WRITINGS. Thank you.  
**

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"Nico... You ready?"

I open the floor door to see Hazel looking up, ready for school.

"Yeah. Just give me a minute," I reply and shut the door.

I hear her small, "oooooohhhhkkkkaaaayyyy..."

In the past week since the stupid animal followed me home, it traveled from spot to spot until it made it back to my dirty clothes pile. Trying to find a comfortable place to sleep since on the second night I shoved her off my bed. I think she likes the clothes pile though.

Now as I gather up my black bookbag with a few binders and folders and other school supplies in it, she tries to trip me by walking between my legs.

"Stop fucken idiot."

She does not listen. Mocha will always have a death wish.

I open the door and climb down the ladder. Mocha tries to follow. I push her back up.

"No... Go eat your food, cat," and I quickly put the ladder back up and shut the ceiling door.

Hazel giggles, "She likes you Nico."

I glare at Hazel but she only giggles-like always-and we walk down the stairs to the bottom floor.

Father is standing by the front door.

He looks like a cross between a very tall biker mortal and a death demon-which in a way he is-. He wears a black and blue suit and looks like he hasn't slept in a million years-which he hasn't-.

"You're both ready? Good. Hazel, don't be nervous, you can make them like you."

Hazel nods and gives a small smile back. Father turns to me. His look seems as though he's bored yet serious.

"Nico. Don't fuck this up again," and he walks around me into the house.

"Thanks **_Dad_**," I grumble and begin to walk out the door. Hazel glances at me with a look of pity and concern. I ignore her. I don't need her concern, especially not her pity.

A hellhound waits at the bottom of the steps for us. He is out 'escort'. The hellhound is supposed to shadow travel us and make sure we get to the school safely. But we don't need him, I can get us there just fine without the 'help' from Father.

Hazel looks at me, concern and pity still on her face. "Nico... Come on.."

I glare at her, she only frowns.

Giving in I hold onto the dog's fur and a vomit of black is all that can be understood. We appear a little bit into the woods near the school.

Hazel and I let go of the hellhound. He looks at us, looks around, looks at the school, then vanishes.

I watch as hundreds of students all go into the school from the three different entrances around it. The parking lot is filled with students and their cars. Teacher's have a smaller parking lot in the back. I watch all these people. Preps, Jocks, the nerds and the goths. And other cliques all blend as they head into the building.

"Nico, come on," Hazel says getting my attention. Shes already walked out of the woods and is standing on the grass. The student parking lot about twenty feet behind her as she faces me. I come to the realization that we will have to walk through it to get to the closest school entrance. I mentally kick the hellhound for picking here of all places to drop us off.

I pull my hood over my head and face down, as to not be seen and walk out of the woods. Hazel and I walk next to each other as we head to the parking lot. No one has noticed us yet.

We begin to walk on the parking lot. Groups of students hang around their cars instead of heading inside, others walk inside. We go unnoticed.

"Hey! Look what's new!"

I know that was directed at us. I feel Hazel tense but she keeps walking, I stand next to her.

A wolf whistle is made.

"Hey cutie."

Looking down I can see Hazel's hand become a fist, she keeps walking though. We both just keep walking.

Whispers and some quiet laughter go up all around us as we walk. I feel everyone's eyes on us.

This is never how it had been in the other school. Most times we were just ignored.

"Nice chain dude, is that to beat the nigger with?"

Hazel stops dead in her tracks-metaphorically-. Gasps go up all around us, some chuckles, more whispering. They're all waiting. I stop and stand next to Hazel, the chain on my hip makes a 'chink' sound as it hits a stud on my dark grey skinny jeans.

I keep my head down.

"Got something to say sweetie," a male's voice taunts.

I keep my hands in my jacket pockets, squeezing my fists so hard the nails digging into my palms.

"Excuse me?" I hear Hazel say in a 'what-bitch' tone.

A boy who looks to be in 11th grade walks up to us. He's thin and has short blond hair. He stand in front of Hazel.

"Hey hun... You don't need to take any whippings from your friend here. I'm sure I could satisfy you in other ways than he ever could."

I can feel the heat on Hazel's cheeks. She's blushing. Hazel begins to fan her face, an old gesture.

"Aha... Hey... What is your name."

"Luke hunny. Captain of the basketball team."

"Ah.. Luke... I think me and my**_ brother _**would appreciate it if you would politely leave us alone. Thank you."

With that Hazel walks around him, I follow silently.

Gasps and "ooooohhhh"'s go up. Laughing and chatter goes around. Hazel and I walk side by side towards the door, we're almost out of the parking lot.

"HEY," I think of all the ways I could kill Luke painfully, "NO ONE IS IMPRESSED BY YOUR MANNERS BITCH! THOSE WONT GET YOU ANYWHERE IN LIFE!"

Hazel stops and turns around, I know shes giving her sweetest smile.

"No? Well... Not being polite seems to have gotten you no where with me_** Hunny**_."

Whooping and laughter goes up everywhere. No comments from Luke.

Hazel curtsies, "Come on Nico. We need to get our schedules."

We walk into the building, a roar of laughter goes up behind us.

Finding the office through the crowds was easy, right next to the front entrance where we walking in.

I follow Hazel into the office. She gracefully walks right up to secretary.

"Excuse me, Hello."

The lady doesn't even look up from her computer, "yes."

I can tell Hazel is offended but does not let on.

"We are freshman and are new to this school?"

"All freshman are new to this school dear," the women says in a bored tone, still looking at the computer.

"Aha... yes, right. Well, my brother and I are new to this district completely and were not able to attend the freshman orientation to get our schedules and such. I was hoping you could please help us to figure things out so we can get the education we came here for."

I hear the cheek in her voice. I chuckle on the inside but on the outside I keep my hood up and face down.

A loud sigh comes from the older women's mouth as she turns to us.

"Last name?"

"Well, ma'am, my brother and I are adopted and have different last names."

I can feel the women roll her eyes as she turns back to her computer, "One at a time then."

"Levesque, Hazel."

I hear the typing on the computer and the clicking of the mouse.

Yes, here you are. Moved here over the summer. Adopted. Father owns A funeral home. No allergies to be known. That you?"

"Uhh... yes. That's me."

The lady clicks the mouse twice and then the sound of a printer can be heard. She rolls her chair to the far side of her desk where the printer is and takes the paper that is spit out from it. She gives it to Hazel.

"This is your schedule, locker, and all that important stuff for the school year. Your name?"

I feet her looking at me.

"His name is Di'Angelo, Nico."

I feet her analyzing me, "He can talk. What's your name boy."

"Uh... He's mute ma'am," Hazel says in a very polite tone.

"Mute?"

"Yes Ma'am... It means he does not talk."

"Hhhhmmmm... He's going to have to change that if he wants to go to school here." And once again a series of clicking and typing was made.

"Di'Angelo. Adopted. Brother of Levesque. Allergic to... light?"

Her gaze comes to me again.

"Uh yes... That's him ma'am."

I feet her looking at me as if analyzing me once again. And once again Hazel cames to me rescue.

"That is why he wears all black ma'am. When the light touches his skin, his skin turns red and becomes blistery and peels. Very hard to look at. At our old school one of the teachers made him take his hood off and when the lights shone on his face, well... Lets say blood was on his clothes and we needed an ambulance."

That was only half truth though. I was fine, it was the asshole of a teacher who needed the ambulance. And he didn't tell me to take my hood off, he yanked my hood and tore it off then shouted at me... What else was I suppose to do? I hadn't at first meant to have his face begin to slowly decompose, but once I realized what was happening... It was too late and he almost died. He received intensive face-reconstruction surgery and was never the same again. We shadow-traveled right after I stopped it. Father had one of his workers clean up the mess I had caused... That was the last school we were at and why we came here.

"Ah... I see... Alright then," clicking and printing, "Here is his schedule," the women says handing the paper to Hazel. I reach up and take the paper, she seems surprised. I hold the paper down next to me and do not move besides that.

"Oh-alright... Anything else you need?"

Hazel replies no and we walked back into the hall. First block had already stared so the hallways were empty.

"Some secretary. Jeez..." Hazel grumbled.

Hazel and I compared our schedules.

"Okay, our lockers are about ten lockers apart on the third floor. That's not bad. We have Advanced English together first period, good. Second class Earth science we have together. You have lunch while i have a crafts class. Next I have lunch and you have Drawing and painting. You'll like that. Then for our forth class together we have world history, that's not bad. Each class is 60 minutes long except lunch, lunch is 20 minutes. Then home. Day two, you have gym and I have Geometry. Zues, I **hate** math classes. Then you have Algebra. That's horrible. I have health. Then we both have lunch together. Next you go to health and I have gym. Lovely. Then you have a business class -so nice of dad to give you that- and I have home and carers. Well... I'll do _great_ in that class."

Hazel sighed, " well... Atleast we have some classes together. And hey," I felt her smile at me. "you've get drawing and painting. You'll do great in that class."

I looked up at her and gave her a small smile. She seemed satisfied with that.

"Come on, it's day one. We've got advanced English."

With that Hazel walked us to the forth floor to our English classroom.

I could tell Hazel was a bit excited. The different class options thrilled her. Our last school didn't have anything like this. I was not thrilled. I was pissed.

Hazel-being polite- knocked on the door to our English room. I wish she hadn't. The male teacher sat at his desk in a weird chair. He turned to the door and gestured for one of the students to come and answer it. A girl with bouncing red curly hair answered the door.

"Hi! Who are you?"

The teacher chuckled, "Rachel, let them in before interrogating them."

"Sorry," The girl-Rachel- mumbled as she stepped aside and opened the door more.

Hazel walked in first, confidently. I walked in behind her, head still down, hands in my jacket pocket. Rachel shuts the door behind us.

"Hello. This in Advanced English for freshman. I am your teacher, Mr. Chiron. And you are?"

Hazel nods and I can feel her smile, "I am Hazel, and this is my brother Nico," she gestures at me. "We just moved here and arrived late. We both have this class together?"

Mr. Chiron rolls back out of his desk, I realize he's in a wheel chair. He rolls over to the filing cabinet against the front wall a few feet away from his desk. He pulls out a binder and looks through it.

"Ah yes. Perfect timing you two," Mr. Chiron smiles and looks up, "I was about to take attendance anyways. Please, have a seat. Rachel, you may sit too now." His smile is sincere and warm. It bothers me in a way at how friendly he is being towards us. Most teachers have always tried to not look at us the first time because of me.

Oh! Right, sorry Mr. Chiron," says the bubbly girl and she goes and sits down in her seat, the front row directly in front of his desk.

Hazel walks to the back of the room and sits down in a desk in the last row, I sit next to her and place my leather bookbag against my chair. The other students stare at us...No. They stare at me. I ignore them and keep my head down.

"Alright class," Everyone looks back to Mr. Chiron but I can feel some of their glances back at me, "When I say your name, reply with 'here'. Okay? Good."

He places the binder on his desk as he rolls back up to it.

"Stacy Lidance."

"Here."

"Micheal Jivinski."

"Here."

He calls out the names, in no order. Hazel's name is finally called.

"Here Sir."

"Nico Di'Angelo."

I don't say anything. I silently raise my hand.

"Nico Di'Angelo," he says again, questioning. I feel his gaze on me. "Ah. Okay. Thank you." He closes the binder and looks at us all. "Okay class. This year will be something new for you. You are no longer in middle school, and I'm sure you all are happy about that."

A few nods and "yes" go around. I just think that these mortals have no idea how shitty middle school was.

"And certainly you are excited about all the new options for you here."

Some kids laugh and begin to talk. Any feelings of being welcomed by this teacher disappear instantly. He's a dumb ass like all other teachers.

"Well, there's a lot more work in High school that you wouldn't have expected. You have more responsibility now. More work. Highschool is not all the freedom you had expected," _No shit Sherlock, _"It is harder."_ HA, "_In this class we will read a book together for each unit, we will go over it, write about it and more. Everyday you will have to read and-"

I begin to tune out his lecturing explanation of this class. Read, write, read, write, learn, write. It's all the same. This class will be simple for me.

"-so for the first unit I have picked The Book Thief for us to read. Rachel, if you would pass out the books to everyone."

"Sure Mr. Chiron!" _Teacher's Pet._

Rachel bounces over to the book shelves that go along the wall to the hall. Multiple class-sets of books occupy the shelves. She takes ten books at a time and passes them out to each student. Each student says 'Thank You' quietly after she puts the book on their desk. She gets to me last, Hazel second-last. She places the book on my desk. I say nothing. She stands there. I say nothing. She clears her throat, directed at me. I slowly begin to raise my head.

"Rachel! Thank you dear. Have a seat will you?"

She is saved by him. Rachel goes and sits down. I can feel the teachers gaze on me. He's watching me. I put my head back down and open the book to the first page. I begin to read silently.

"We will take turns reading this book out loud each class, as I said. Nico," _No...no no no no, "_Since you are so eager to read this book. Why don't read start reading to us first. The first page please."

_He. Did. Not. _

I glance up to see Mr. Chiron opening his copy of the book casually.

I stay silent. Glaring at him through my hood and hair. He glances up.

"Nico, read please."

Hazel coughs to get my attention. I glance over and she mouths 'just do it'.

I hold in anger at her now too.

I look at the words on the page and take a breath.

"First the colors; Then the humans; That is how-"

I hear quiet chuckles going up around the classroom.

_Why do they laugh at me?! All I did was read two lines!_

Then I realize. My voice sounds stupid. I sound stupid. I clear my throat and go silent again.

Mr. Chiron once again looks at me. "Nico please. Read the first page. That's all."

I sigh silently. Ignoring the small chuckles. And start reading again. My voice still sounds a bit strained.

"That is how I usually try to see things. Or at least, I try. Here's a small fact. You're going to die."

_That's funny. I might like this book._

I continue to read the first page. Once done I go silent. Hazel is tense sitting next to me.

"Thank you Nico. That was lovely. Would someone else like to read next?"

Mr. Chiron sounds genuine as he compliments me. I wonder what this guy's thoughts are on me. He has not presented the usual behavior most teachers do. It bothers me a small amount but I try not to focus on that.

Students take turns reading from the book. No one is laughing anymore. Most of them ignore me.

"Thank you Rachel. We will leave off on page 16. Now everyone open your English binder."

I get out one of the four binders from my bookbag and open it to the loose leaf. Hazel does the same. I get out a blue pen.

"Now date the page and write a half page summary on what we have read so far. Then make a line to separate it for next class. Write the book title and the pages we read as your first sentence. Spend the next ten minutes doing this."

The rest of the class goes by quickly. We write the summary, he gives us a packet on the book. We fill out the first two pages of the packet. We talk about the book. Then the bell rings. I gather up my things silently. All the other students rush to get out the door. The slower I go, I hope I do not have to face the crowd.

"Nico, come on."

Hazel is already by the door waiting for me. The class is empty. I realize I had been siting at my desk _too_ long. I went _too_ slow.

"That's quite alright Hazel. You go on, I wish to speak with your brother privately."

I glance up. This guy can't be serious.

Hazel seems to sway from foot to foot nervously.

"Oh!" She says kneeling down to pick something up, "I dropped this. Okay. Nico I'll meet you...on the second floor...Earth science..." and she leaves into the crowded hall.

I know what she 'dropped', truly what she summoned. Probably some girl's diamond earring from in the hall. That happens when shes nervous. She summons the closest jewels. Curtsey of our Father.

I stay seated silently.

"Nico, why don't you come up here so I can talk to you more comfortably."

_Yeah, because you can't walk sorry ass_, I think as I gather up my stuff and walk up to his desk.

He sits reclining, looking at me with serious eyes. I keep my head down but up just enough to see him through my longer hair. The tips of my bangs brush my nose.

"Nico. I had originally planned to have us read a different book. But then I decided against that book. Do you know why?"

He folds his hands on his desk.

I shake my head and stare at him with a bored and annoyed glare.

"Because you came into my classroom and I thought you might like this book better."

He says it so calmly yet leaving me with many questions. _What's this guy's fucken **deal**?!_

"I hope you do like this book. You seem to be a reader. Do you read often?"

I squint my eyes in suspicion at this teacher. Who the fuck does he think he is.

"I take your suspicion glare as a yes. Well."

This guy is different than other teachers I've had. He hasn't treated me as though I was going to suck his blood out. Nor has he treated me as though i was a filthy rat needing to be killed. He treated me with some level of respect-even kindness-, yet still seemed to purposefully piss me off.

"Ignore those who laughed at you. You read fine. I hope you enjoy the book. You may go."

Students start to file into the classroom, I leave as fast as I can. The whole time I fee his gaze on me.

* * *

Hazel was waiting at the closest stairwell for me.

"Are you okay? What did he want," she questions me. Concerned and curious.

"Nothing," I mumble. Conversation over.

We maze through the crowded stairs and people to our classroom.

I pick a table in the back of the class, ignoring the few glances I'm given from the students already in the classroom.

Hazel sits next to me at our shared lab table.

More students file into the classroom. Everyone has a seat and a partner. The bell rings. There is no teacher.

The students begin to talk and laugh. This goes on for ten minutes. Some of them are tossing paper balls back and forth. They talk and laugh and joke. No one looks at us in the back of the classroom. No one talks to us. Hazel and I sit quietly.

Fifteen minutes goes by.

"I wonder where the teacher is..." says Hazel concerned.

"Hey! Where's my ring!"

I look to the row in front of us, third from the front. A few tables away from us a girl scrambles around her desk looking for something.

I look on our desk, and there is the ring. A large ruby ring.

Before I have a chance to warn Hazel, the girl looks over to us and yells.

"YOU STOLE MY RING!"

She is tall and looks as though she is an 11th grader.

Hazel looks down and I feel her tense up horribly and begin to become more nervous. She picks up the ring and holds it out to the girl.

"N-no I didn't... I swear I didn't..."

The girl comes over and snatches it out of Hazel's hand. Her face is clear with disgust and anger.

"You Bitch! How dare you try to steal my ring. My Father gave that to me. How'd you steal it anyways."

Hazel begins to trip over her words, "I... I didn't. I'm sorry. I didn't. I'm sure you love it very much because-"

"Yeah! I love it more than you! How did you get it!? Who even are you!"

Hazel tries her hardest to be polite but I can feel her freaking out.

"Uh-um. M-my name is Hazel an-and this-"

"I don't give a fuck who that is bitch. I'm Clarisse La Rue, captain of the girl's wrestling team. And you just made the WRONG enemy."

Hazel begins to say something when a tall and thin slouching man walks through the door.

"Hello class. Sit down, sit down. I don't have the energy to deal with your bull shit. Sit, sit."

Clarisse glares at Hazel then goes and sits in her seat. Everyone sits and calms down. There are whispers going around. I overhear that Clarisse failed earth science last year when she moved here and that she is in eleventh grade. Some people say how she wins every fight in wrestling, against guys and girls. Others say that Hazel is as good as dead.

Hazel just becomes more jittery and nervous. I see her keeping her hands on the table. Every few seconds she quickly snatches the jewelry off the desk and into her pants pockets. She is not wearing a jacket, only a nice Tank-top with a loose delicate camisole. People glance at us nervously or laughing, Hazel manages to not make her jewelry snatching noticeable.

"Alright class. Shut up now," he says flopping into his rolling chair. He takes a sip from his thermos.

"This is earth science. I am your teacher. Professor Bacchus. You will address me as Professor Bacchus and if you call me anything else I will send you to the office." His words were said in a tone said 'I-dont-care-for-you-at-all" tone. They sounded mildly slurred.

He took another sip from his thermos. I began to think that is was not coffee he was drinking.

He stood and slammed his hands on his desk and glared at us all.

"Listen kiddies. I am not your friend. I do not want to teach. I am here because I was asked and am being paid an extravagant amount. Something that none of you will ever achieve. Now for most of the year will will learn about the earth. Stones, dirt, habits of the earth and all that important stuff. You will supposedly enjoy this as I have been told to encourage you to do."

He took a sip from his thermos.

"If you piss me off, I wont teach you and you will not pass. Simple as that. Now go collect a lab kit from the side table near the windows. There is two packets on each tray, one for each of you. Do what the directions say in the packet and fill out the questions that it has. Don't bother me."

That was Professor Bacchus's famous "happy first day of class" speech before he lounged back in his chair, put his feet on his desk, and stared at us as he occasionally took a sip from his thermos. Hazel automatically goes to the window-table and picks a tray for us. She gives me my packet. I write my name on it and watch as she sets up the lab.

"I don't like that teacher Nico," Hazel mumbles to me under her breath, "And I don't think that is just any drink he is sipping."

I nod and begin to help her get the stones ready to test. Other students get their trays and set them up. The noise from the different voices and setting up is perfect to cover up Hazel's mumble.

"It's liquor," I mumble back.

Hazel begins to do one of the testing activities, "completely inappropriate."

I nod and mark down the answers.

Class goes by very simply. I keep my head down and don't need to talk at all. Hazel tells me what to do as she reads the directions, we do each activity, I mark the data, and she copies it. We work quietly and efficiently while the others goof around as they work. Professor Bacchus is clearly unconcerned by anything going in the class. He just continues to lounge, stare, and sip from his thermos.

60 minutes goes by quicker than expected as the bell rings.

"Okay class. Put the shit away and go. Next class we'll be learning about whatever is next in the book."

I carry the tray back to the table.

"Oops!"

The stones and liquids get slammed into me. They clatter to the floor along with the tray. The broken glass scatters the floor.

"My bad. I am SO sorry uh... Whats you're name?"

I glance up to see Clarisse standing in front of me. She pushed the tray into me. She has no idea what shes trying at.

Hazel rushes over.

"Oh Nico! It's alright. It's fine." She bends down and begins to put all the broken glass and stones back on the tray. Some students gather around and snicker. I keep my head down and ignore them. Fists clenched in my pockets. I have to control myself. Just don't look at them. I focus on Hazel's hair. I begin to try and count each curl.

"Your name's Nico? What a cute name! Can you say it for yourself? Can you even talk? helllloooo?"

Clarisse waves her hand in front of my face. I keep my head down and count the curls. I'm so fucking stupid. My black hoddie begins to change colors where the liquids spilled on me. It goes from black to grey to ugly shades of brown.

How could I let this happen.

"Must be stupid, aren't you. Fucking retard."

"Please just leave him alone Clarisse," Hazel says as she stands with the tray.

"Why should I-"

Clarisse is cut off by Professor Bacchus working through the group of students.

"Whoa whoa whoa. What's going on here. What's happened."

He stands behind Clarisse.

"Oh. Professor Bacchus. Nico just tripped over his own feet and spilled the equipment to the floor. When I tried to help him gather it up, his sister came over and told be to back off. I'm sorry this caused such a disturbance to you. I wont let it happen again."

Clarisse spoke in the sweetest, most apologetic voice possible. Once done speaking to him, she smiled sweetly at Hazel and I.

"Ah. Is that so. Nico, for being a clumsy idiot, you will not touch the lab equipment for the rest of the year, only answer the questions. Your lab partner.. Hazel? Will do the work. I expect this to not happen again. Now everyone leave my classroom. "

Hazel tried her hardest to remain calm as she put the tray on the table and went back to our lab table to gather her stuff. I silently followed and gathered my stuff and left the classroom into the crowded hallway.

"Nico, wait!"

Hazel would be fine. I kept walking through the crowds. I needed to get away. Lunch on the first floor was where I was supposed to go but instead I went to the forth floor-the top floor-. I ignored the students, the halls were starting to clear out anyways. Soon the bell rang and The halls were empty. I opened a random door, and saw a few stairs leading up and another door. The room was dark and small. Different janitor equipment was scattered around the room but it looked as though it hadn't been used in ages.

I shut the door behind me and walk up the stairs and tried the door there. Its locked. Giving up, I turn and sit on the stairs instead.

I sit in the darkness holding my head. My hoddie ruined. My mind on a rampage.

_Why is this so hard?! What did I do! I'm so stupid. Such a fucken Idiot. I knew this would be bad. Why do I have to even BE HERE! Such a fucken idiot. I'm always messing up. _

I feel the darkness in the room shift. It feel it swarming. I know I am controlling it. The concrete stairs I sit on begins to grow a mold. The wooden brooms in the room decompose into nothing, the plastic on them smoldering and becoming nothing. The cleaning bottles explode and smolder to nothing. Very quickly everything in the room decomposes in it's own way and becomes nothing. I cause it. This is just one of the things I have to control.

That I cant control. I'm so fucken stupid. No wonder why everyone stares at me.

* * *

I sit on those stairs for over an hour trying to keep control and calm down. I know I missed lunch and my drawing and painting class. The bell for last block should ring soon. Hazel will be worried if I don't show up and might get accused of stealing another girl's jewelry. I don't want Hazel to pay for another one of my mess ups.

I try my hardest to calm down. The darkness that felt to be in a frenzie now calms down to a slow wave. I force my thoughts away so I have a blank mind. I get myself under control and ignore all that I was thinking. I do not feel. Feeling is dangerous.

The bell rings as I expected and I walk out of the small room and into the crowded hall. I keep my head down and make my way to the world history room I have with Hazel.


	4. Chapter 4

**So if you are here. Thank you. That means a lot to me really. :) I'm glad you seem to be enjoying the story. Please, review what you think or how I could improve it or anything at all. I love feedback. **

**I also have a little quest for those reading ;) . Review/comment a song/band (or a few) that you think Nico would like. I'll use them in the chapters. :D**

**^_^ Hope you continue to enjoy the story. **

**I would like to give a warning. To those of you who are sensitive, later in the chapter things become a bit intense. I did say that the genres were hurt/comfort and angsty. I will give a warning for those of you who wish to skip over that part. **

* * *

"Are you okay," Hazel whispers to me as we work on our first assignment, locating things on our map and labeling them.

I simply nod. She does not need to worry about me, she's already had a stressful enough day. I do not want to make it worse for her.

"How'd your drawing and painting class go?"

I mark Italy on my map in a black dot.

"Fine." Conversation closed.

I feel Hazel's look of concern on me but she goes back to her map.

Ms. Surle calls the class to attention and gives us the next sheet to put into our binders and work on.

The sheets are simple. The class is quiet with only small chatter going on as we work.

Throughout the class Hazel tries to talk to me but I either don't respond or give one-word responses.

I do not want to talk, I just want to get through the day and go back to the shit place we call home. World history goes by slowly and boringly. I just sit quietly, my head down, and do my work. I feel people keep glancing at me. I ignore them.

"Well... um... I met some people in crafts. They are nice. They are seem a bit out there but I think they'll be my friends. Did you meet any-..."

I glare up at Hazel. _Did I meet any friends?_ No. The answer is obvious. The question stupid. _I never meet any friends. _

She looks down at her work sheets and text book, keeping silent for the rest of the class. I didn't want to talk anyways.

The bell rings, letting us all know the end of class. Ms. Surle lets us know that next class we will be starting on WW1. I gather up my things and leave the classroom together with Hazel.

We head up to the third floor where our lockers are so we can put our stuff in them. Why bother to carry the binders home when there is no reason for them. She finds her locker and I locate mine a bit away. I begin to put my stuff in my locker. The hallway is loud and crowded.

I don't see Hazel but I know she is only about 15 feet away from me.

"Nico!"

My head snaps up. That's Hazel's voice. I don't see her. I slam my locker shut and try to rush through the crowd of students.

"Hey!"

"Watch it!"

"What's wrong with you"

"Fucken Freak!"

_**Freak.**_

I'm called that again.

I stand frozen in spot. _How dare they call me a freak? What did I do this time!? I'm only trying to get to Hazel! _

_**Hazel**__._

I don't have time for this. I keep squeezing through the crowd. I feel her panic inside me. I get to her locker. Shes not there.

"Hazel?"

My voice comes out as a mumble.

"Hazel," I say again but at regular voice level now.

The only responses I get are people shoving me and trashing me out.

It takes all my focus on getting to Hazel to block out their voices. Their words.

I work my way down the hall and turn, looking for her. I can't find her anywhere.

_I can't find her. I can't find her! I CAN'T FIND HER!_

The light above me pops. Walking stops. Some girls scream and duck, covering their heads.

"Nico!"

I hear her voice. It is distant, as if in a classroom being muffled. I rush to where I heard it, leaving the people curious and worried about the busted light.

I rush into a dark classroom. I feel her panic strong inside.

I try the light, it does not turn on.

I hear a grumble of struggle and I rush to the desk.

Hazel is laying on the ground, on top of her holding her mouth is Luke.

"GET OFF HER!"

I grab Luke by the throat and **SLAM** him into the white board at incredible speed.

I raise him up into the air, his feet dangle three inches off the ground even though he is naturally taller than me.

"Nico! No!"

I ignore Hazel's pull on my arm and her words.

"Just leave him alone. It's okay. I'm alright."

I look up into this scum's eyes. He has fear yet... excitement?

"Looks like you caught me," he struggles out.

I tighten my grip on his throat. The shadows in the room begin to dance. The plant on the desk decays instantly. My hand becomes a skeleton's hand, holding tightly to the flesh of Luke.

His eyes go wide and he begins to struggle.

"Nico please... It's _just_ our first day here!"

"I know who-" I ignore the fact my other hand is now only bone too and grab his wrist and squeeze. Luke begins to struggle and thrash, no longer excitement in his eyes. All that can be seen on his face is pure fear as he stares down at me.

I glare right back up at him. My hood falls back and I have clear view of him, my shoulder-length black hair floating slightly from the dark energy coming off me.

"Father. Hades." Is all he manages to choke out before His wrist becomes a large patch of blistering decomposing skin.

"Oh Nico..." Hazel says. She grabs me from behind and hugs me. I let go of Luke completely and he falls to the ground.

Luke gasps for breath as his wrist bleeds all over the floor. The skin is red, blistering, and peeling. Where the pads of my fingers-bones- touched, it goes deeper to see burnt flesh.

I stand there shocked by Hazel. I've never been hugged. It feels strange...

"Your...a...demigod..." Luke gasps out.

Hazel lets me go and stares in horror at Luke and I. Hazel backs up about two feet. I recompose myself and glare down at Luke. He took his shirt off and began to wrap up his wrist. He breathes heavy and is sweating. His neck is red and blistered and seeming charred but not bleeding.

"I knew it... You both... Your children of Hades."

I glance at Hazel as she looks down ashamed. The floor around her is littered with necklaces, bracelets, and various of other jewelry. I kneel down so I am level with Luke. He looks into my eyes, fear yet pride.

"What does it matter."

My voice comes out harsh.

He holds up his good hand in front of himself. As if that will guard him.

"I'm a child of Hermes."

I punch him in the temple quickly and he goes unconscious.

I stand and look at Hazel. Her eyes are red.

I brush my lips on her forehead for just a split second, then pull my hood over my head.

"Come on Hazel...Let's get out of here before things get messy."

She stands there dumbfounded for a moment then nods and follows me out of the classroom. I notice a few guys walking towards the classroom. I do not pay attention to them. I grab Hazel's hand and we run down the hall to an empty classroom and I shadow-travel.

* * *

"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!"

Father slams his hand on the dining room table.

Hazel sits next to me, her head faced down. I keep my hood up and look at Father through my hair.

"YOU HAD A CHANCE. AND YOU BOTH RUIN IT BY A POINTLESS FIGHT. WITH NOT A MORTAL BUT ANOTHER DEMI-GOD. AND THEN YOU JUST LEAVE WHEN OTHERS ARRIVE TO FIND YOUR MESS. WHAT ELSE DID YOU DO. NICO!? DID YOU BURN THE FUCKEN BUILDING DOWN TOO!"

I stare at him silently. He closes his eyes and sits down in his seat. After about five minutes of silence he opens his eyes again. His voice is dangerously calm.

"Hazel... I expect better from you. Stop being nervous. You WILL be fine. Nico."

Hazel nods and Father looks directly at me. I know what's coming. Another lecture on how I need to control this and how I've ruined our chance and always the same thing.

"Nico. Why can't you be more like your sister."

I freeze. Hazel stays silent and does not pick her head up. We both know he is not talking about her. We both know that Father is talking about... Bianca.

He sighs. "You need to do better. This time it's okay. You will still be able to go back to that school. Luke was _kind_ enough to clean up the mess _you_ created Nico."

I remain emotionless.

"You should be thankful for that. Next time though, I do not believe he will be so forgiving. Simply stay away from Luke. He is not the only demi-god in the school. And as of right now, none of us know who is and who is not."

I keep messing up. I keep messing everything up.

"Be on your guard and do NOT be so rash and make another mess. You both may go."

Hazel and I stand and leaving the dining room alone to Father. We walk up the stairs silently. I keep my head down.

"Nico... I'm-"

"Don't," I snap back. She stands there frozen by my voice.

I ignore her and walk up the next set of stairs. Then the next. Until I finally reach the forth floor. I walk to the back hallway, open the ceiling door, pull the ladder down and climb up. I shut it quietly.

"Meow?"

Mocha stands near me, looking up curiously. I take the ruined jacket off and toss it into the dirty pile.

"There Mocha. More for your bed."

She follows me. I point to the wall where I placed two smalls bowls, one for food and the other for water.

"Eat Mocha."

She stands looking at me.

I walk over to my bed and punch it. I hear a small crack and back up.

_How could he bring up Bianca. How could he! No one does..._

I pull my shirt off and toss it to the pile, it makes it half way. I sit on the edge of my bed, facing the wall to outside.

_It's my fault._

I pull open one of the draws in my bedside table.

_I let Bianca die._

**(skip here)**

I pull a knife out.

_I'm always fucking up._

The blade is sharp and cold against my shoulder.

_I can't control myself. _

I dig the blade in deeper and guide it down. Making a cut three inches down my shoulder and upper arm.

_It's all my fault._

I do it again. And again. And again. It's the only way I can get it out.

Both my arms drip blood, but not enough to kill me. Never enough to kill me. The small incisions already begin to scab over in some areas.

**(To here)**

I lay down on my side ignoring the pain. The black comforter absorbs whatever touches it. I squeeze my eyes shut tight, not wanting to see. Not wanting to feel. Not wanting to think. I just want to escape into nothingness.

I feel a went trail come from my eye, slide down the side of my head, over my temple, and blend into my hair and the blanket.

Mocha jumps up onto my bed. She curls up against my back. I don't push her off tonight.

* * *

"You can't wear that Di'Angelo."

Jason, the football captain, states to me.

I ignore him and keep my head down. What I'm wearing is fine for gym.

"Hey. Did you hear me? Di'Angelo!"

Jason is our fill-in gym coach. Hes a senior as he told us. He often times will be in charge of our classes because apparently his goal is to be a coach for those training for he Olympics. Or he wants to win one himself. I was not listening.

"Nico!"

I glance up and see he is standing right in front of me now. Everyone else is staring at me.

"Nico," he says in a more calm voice, knowing he has my attention now, "The black shorts are fine. But you can not wear the over-sized sweat-shirt. A T-shirt or a muscle shirt is appropriate for this class."

I look into his eyes. He does not have anger in them. He has curiousness, confusion, concern and...fear... in his eyes.

I look down at his shoes. I try hard not to look at _him_. I'm already fucked up enough, I don't need to make it worse.

He sighs, "Fine Di'Angelo. But this is ten percent off your grade for today. I can't just let you slip by being unprepared." He walks away and begins to explain to us what we will be doing for the day. He doesn't have to mark me unprepared... I'm wearing a grey muscle shirt under my jacket.

"Okay boys. Jog ten laps around the gym."

Everyone begins to jog. I walk with my head down. I can feel everyone's staring at me. Jason stands in the middle of the gym, watching us, but I know his gaze is following me. I ignore them all.

Most of the guys have done six laps already, I've walked two.

"Di'Angelo, Come here."

Everyone watches as I slowly walk to the center of the gym where Jason is standing. He speaks quietly, as to make sure none of the guys can hear.

"Hey, what's wrong."

_He cares?_

No, he can't care. No one cares for me.

I look at his shoes, trying not to look at anyone in the gym.

"Nico, I'm asking you to tell me what you have against gym. Most guys love his class."

_Yeah? Well most guys are mortal. Most guys can't kill with a glare. And most guys aren't messed up by being-_

"I'll sign you up for a different physical education class if you want."

That catches my attention. I look up into his eyes. I feel my stomach bubble.

_No! Not this now. It's not okay._

Not okay for even a demi-god. It will never be okay.

His muscles flex as his arm reaches up. He places a hand on my shoulder. I jitter from the touch and sight.

_I've got to get out of here. Just ignore it. Don't look. Don't run like a coward. Just ignore it. I've got to leave. _

"What class would you like?"

I focus on the space between his eyes. I don't want to look away, he's actually showing me some kindness, but I can't look at _him_ without freaking out like a weirdo.

"Nico. If you don't tell me what class you would prefer, I'll pick for you."

I look down at my shoes. He can't see my face now. I feel the heat rush to my cheeks and thank myself that I put my head down when I did.

I hear him sigh and he removes his hand from my shoulder.

"Fine. You'll have to participate in this class though until I can find an open space in another."

I nod. He tells me to go back to my walking as the last of the boys finish the ten laps.

I've just pushed away the only boy who ever showed me any kindness...The only person in truth...

I walk my lap and the other boys jog until Jason calls us to a stop. He guides us in a series of stretches. I do them all perfectly. I'm flexible. After the fifteen minutes of jogging and the ten minutes of stretching he explains how we will be doing soccer for the first unit. Today though, he has us practice the moves. I fail miserably and give up. I simply stand in the corner of the gym, the ball near me as the other guys go around the gym fooling around as they do the exercises. I try my hardest to stare at the ball at my feet, hoping no one bothers me. Most of them ignore me, some of them glance over but when that happens Jason calls to them to talk or says a joke. I realize he's distracting them from me.

That is how class goes.

I change in the bathroom stall in the locker room. I put my shorts in my bookbag and slide on my black pants and head as fast as I can out of the locker room without looking at anyone.

* * *

I don't see Hazel on my way to Algebra. She should be in Health right now.

I write the formulas in my algebra binder quietly. I vaguely understand it from the teacher's explanation. But the algebra is not what is bothering me.

Mr. Harris organized our seats by last name. I am the second in the row.

I keep my head down and hood up as I write the problems. I feel five people staring at me. I can hear the sound of paper sliding across a desk and whispering, notes being passed.

I don't have to hear the whispers to know the notes are about me. The notes are always about me, they always have been and always will be.

Mr. Harris goes to the front of the room and we begin to do algebraic problems using the formulas given. He walks us through two problems, step by step then tells us to do the three problems by our selves. He writes the problems on the board.

I copy them and do them the best I can.

After ten minutes he goes over the answers. I got them all wrong.

"He's so weird."

"Yeah..I wonder what's wrong with him."

_What's wrong with me is the fact you can't whisper quiet enough!_

I shout in my head, but the only action I do is my grip on my pen tightens. Also, they whisper only one chair behind me, of coarse I am going to hear them. Idiots.

"Nico!"

My head shoots up to Mr. Harris.

"What is the answer to question four?!"

I glance at my paper and realize I have written nothing down for question four, not even the number. I look up at the board and see the question written.

"Do you not know the answer Nico?"

His tone is impatient. I assume he's already asked me this question twice.

_So fucken stupid._

"No sir..." I mumble.

"I did not hear you. You have to speak louder."

I hear a few chuckles. I know he heard me just fine.

"No sir. I do not know the answer," I say louder.

More chuckles.

"And why is that Nico? Why do you not know the answer Nico."

He's taunting me. I can hear it in his voice. He wants to show me as a bad example for the rest of the class. It's happened before.

"Because I was not paying attention," I mumble.

"Nico! You have GOT to speak louder. I am OLD!"

I hear multiple muffled laughs. I bet everyone in the room is laughing. They always laugh at me.

"The freak is going to get it now," I hear the quiet whisper.

I raise my voice and growl at the fucken teacher.

"I was failing to pay attention, _Sir._"

I know what's happening before he even says anything. I close my binder.

"Go to the ISS Nico Di'Angelo."

_ISS?_

I don't know what that is... I've only ever been sent to the office... I can't ask what it is, that would only make things worse.

I put my things in my bookbag silently and stand up, head faced down. I walk out the door. I can hear the laughter that is no longer being held in from in the hall. I run to the stairs.

_So stupid. Such a coward. Running again. You're always being saved by others or running away. Always. No one will ever like you. You're too much of a fucken __**FREAK!**_

I reach the top floor and am at the door from yesterday before I even realize it. I pull on the door but it doesn't open. I jiggle the handle violently but it does not open. It's locked.

"SON OF A BITCH!"

"Hey!"

I turn quickly, taken by surprised. A tall boy with short brown hair wearing a light blue hoodie walks towards me. His pants a regular light blue jeans.

"What are you trying to do."

His voice is amazing. I kick myself mentally and face the ground. I watch his feet.

"Relax. I wont tell anyone. Just tell me why you were trying to get in there."

I realize that each step he takes towards me, I back up a step.

"Hey..." I see him put a hand out as a friendly gesture, "Just calm down. It's okay."

I stop moving but keep my head down. That is two people today who have shown me some kind of kindness. He stands about five feet in front of me. I stare at his shoes. His knees are slightly bent and his arm is still out, inviting me to relax. He's approaching me like I'm a loaded gun.

"Go. Away." I growl.

"No. Listen, it's not normal for a student to be viciously trying to get into a storage closest. Something is bothering you. Let me help."

He stands three feet away from me now and stops walking. I focus on his shoes.

"Where are you suppose to be," he asks me calmly.

"ISS," I mumble in return.

"In school suspension? Why?"

His voice has honest concern and curiosity in it. I don't need his concern. I don't need ANYONE'S concern.

"None of you're business," I spit, staring at his shoes still.

"Look up at me. I'm not going to hurt you."

He says it as if he could hurt me.

I stay focused on his shoes.

I hear him sigh, "I wont send you to ISS. I'll take care of it for you. You need to calm down though."

_Why are they being kind to me!?_

"I don't _need_ your **_help_**."

I hear him chuckle, "You obviously do. It's not hard to see that."

I ignore the comment.

"What's your name," he asks me causally as he stands up straight. Casual, no longer concern.

"What does it matter," I grumble.

I hear a half chuckle, "Okay 'what does it matter'. I'm Percy."

He's mocking me. I know he's mocking me. They only ever mock me.

"My name is Nico," I growl at his feet.

He chuckles fully, "That's a much better name than 'what does it matter' if you ask me."

I debate on replying with a rude remark but instead I say nothing.

"Okay well... you can't stay here. I'll take care of your ISS problem if you come with me."

I don't trust him but what else am I supposed to do. I take a step towards him and feel him smile at me.

"Good choice. Alright, come on."

His 'kind' tone is really taunting. I know it is. It has to be...

I follow him down the flights of stairs to the second floor. We walk down a dead end hall until we reach a metal door. He opens it with a key.

"Come on in."

I walk into a warm room with white and blue tiled walls. The floor is concrete and there are three rows of benches. We are standing on a balcony though, the room is much larger. I look out over the balcony and see an Olympic sized swimming pool. Girls swim laps in the pool.

"Hot aren't they."

The voice comes from Percy who stands next to me. I look up at him and wish I hadn't. My stomach does a series of flips. I quickly look back at the girls swimming. I feel Percy curiously glance at me then back to the girls.

"Doing good ladies!"

The girls look up. Many of them giggle, others blush. They are looking at Percy.

"Get out of here Percy! This is the _Girls _swim class right now."

Percy teases back to the girl who spoke. She has black hair with a blue streak in it.

"Yeah Thalia! Then why are you in here!?"

I feel his grin and her annoyance. The other girls giggle or gasp.

"Yeah Percy! Why _**Aren't**_ you in here!"

Percy laughs and opens a wooden door against the wall. It leads to a small office with a desk, wood chair, computer, calendar with dates marked on it, a bulletin board with swim team pictures on it and a trophy case with three trophies in it, a forth spot empty.

"You can sit in here until the bell rings. I'll make sure the person watching over the ISS students marks down that you were there. Then, where are you suppose to go when the bell rings?"

I stare at his knee caps, determined not to look up at him.

"Lunch," I say simply with no emotion.

"Okay. Then go to lunch when the bell rings. I'll leave you alone in here, you seem like you need time." And with that Percy leaves me.

It doesn't make sense. I don't understand. First Mr. Chiron, then Jason, now Percy. They've shown me the most kindness any person -besides Hazel- has ever shown me. It doesn't make sense. No one has ever been nice to me, or seemed to care about me at all. No one has ever done favors for me, looked out for me, or asked me what I wanted. No one has even thought about how I'm feeling or what I'm going through or what I want. I don't understand.

This school bothers me more than anything else. The whole thing.

I hear the distant talking and swimming of the girl's below. They don't seem to know I'm here. Nor does it seem like they care. They are ignoring me. Like everyone else should.

The feeling of being ignored hurts for a split second until I remember, this is how it's supposed to be. I bury the hurt feeling and am grateful for something familiar. Being ignored is what I know. And it should stay like that.

* * *

I walk slowly and quietly in the halls. The lunch room is on the first floor so it is not a far walk. Students clutter into the already busy hallway, trying to get to their next class in a rush before our three minutes is up. I walk slowly, head down, hands in pockets. No one says a thing to me, they just rush around and ignoring me. They don't even bump into me.

I'm being ignored.

I wanted to be ignored but after people seemed to care...being ignored hurts again.

I don't understand anything.

I walk into the lunch room and debate on running away. The whole thing is filled with students of every clique. They all sit together, organized by their clique. Everyone is talking loud, eating, playing, and having fun. I can't find anyone who isn't having fun.

I see Percy and Jason both at a table with other jock boys sitting not too far away. I stand in the cafeteria door way and watch them. They seem happy, enjoying themselves. A few of them wink and whistle to the girls sitting a few tables away.

Percy looks over, he smile.

I feel my face heat and turn to run.

"Watch it freak!"

I fall to the ground right on my ass. I look up and see a very muscular guy with black hair and an Asian face.

_What the fuck is wrong with you. You run right into another one, and this one seems like pure anger. _

I stare up at him, my hood fallen back so only my black hair covers my eyes.

"You going to say anything," the muscular boy demands.

I look down and away, ashamed and afraid.

He walks around me in a huff.

"Fucken loser."

I know I'm the only one who heard the mumble.

The lunch room is silent. I only notice it now. They are silent because they are staring at me.

I mentally kick myself.

"Nico?"

I keep my head down but turn my gaze to someone walking towards me.

"Nico, come on. I got us a place to sit."

Hazel knows better than to express concern in front of the people. She shouldn't be concerned at all but I can feel she is nervous.

Hazel offers out a hand to help me up. I ignore it as I push my self up. My body is rather small, I don't need her to help me.

I don't reach for my hood how I so desperately want to. I know that will just make me look worse with everyone watching. They still stay silent, and I can feel their eyes on me. Like a thousand piranhas, just waiting for the perfect moment when I'm low enough.

I follow Hazel, we go past the jock table, and the cheer leading table. I hear throats being cleared from the jock table, and I hear whispers and giggles from the cheer leading table.

I keep following Hazel. Today she's wearing a nice blouse and a black skirt.

The whispering and giggling becomes louder.

"Fag."

I stop moving.

Hazel turns around, "Nico...come on..."

I freeze in my spot.

"Get out of here freak. You don't belong here."

"Nico," Hazel whispers, "ignore them. You're fine."

_'Fine_' is a **lie**. '_Fine_' is a word you use to **pretend** you are** okay** when really you are covering up everything bad. '_Fine'_ is not '_okay_'._ 'Fine_' is **bad**.

Hazel grabs my hand and snaps me out of my daze. She quickly leads me to a table in the back where a bunch of goth/punk/scene girls sit. A few of them guys.

She pushes me down in a seat and then sits next to me, still holding onto my hand. I pretend I have the ability to make myself invisible.

Whispers and laughter and whooping fill the lunch room. Then talking. It slowly goes back to the regular conversations, but I know I am the main topic.

"This is my brother, Nico."

She says it with a tone 'he's here and I dare you to do shit about it'.

The students at the table stare, some nod, others shrug and go back to eating.

"So Lou. This is my brother, you said yesterday you wanted to meet him."

I look to the girl sitting across from Hazel. She has long black hair, shining green eyes, a pale completion, purple highlights and a silver chain necklace with a pentagram charm on it.

"Yeah. You don't seem too bad." She says it with just a hint of fear, but mostly with curiosity.

Hazel smiles at me. I desperately want to put my hood up. I never should have come in here. I wish Hazel would stop trying so hard for me.

I sit looking at the empty table space in front of me.

A home-made brownie is placed on the table in front of me.

"Eat it."

I look up and see Lou staring at me intently.

"You're hungry. You would love some food. My mother taught me the recipe for that. It tastes delicious. Eat it."

I realize how hungry I am. The fact I haven't eaten anything in three days finally comes to mind. The brownie looks so good.

I take a bite.

Lou smiles. Her smile is strange and bothers me. Like she knows something I don't. Like she's expecting something. Like she keeps many secrets.

_She's keeping secrets._

I gulp down the bite I took and slowly place the brownie on the table. I look her in the eye, but only joy is to be seen.

"So! Did you like it!? Was it good?! Eat more!"

I am compelled to eat more. My stomach growls at me, demanding why it's been staved.

I nod.

"Nico, are you okay?"

Hazel is looking at me as if I've grown a second head.

I nod.

"Well, talk!"

Hazel comes to my rescue, "Oh no Lou. He doesn't talk. He's-"

"I can talk just fine Hazel. You don't need to keep rescuing me!"

I realize what I did after it comes out. I don't know what made me say that. I've been thinking that every time she's tried defending me for years now.

A boy who was a moment ago talking to the other students turns to me. He looks at me then at Lou then at me.

"Hey, you okay?"

"No. I am not okay! What makes you think I am EVER okay."

I once again don't realize what I said until it's out. The words just seem to be jumping out of my mouth. The words, my thoughts.

_This is bad. _

"This is bad."

Hazel, Lou, and the boy hear my mumble.

The boy chuckles and looks at Lou, who shrugs.

"Okay man. You're funny. I'm Rodrick."

I look to him, "I don't care who you are."

_FUCK_

"Fuck," I hear myself mumble.

"Seems you've got the case of no filter, hm?"

I stare at him.

"What the fuck is that suppose to mean!?"

"Nico!"

Hazel looks at me appalled.

"What! It's like everyone at this table is watching me, with a look in their eye as if they know something about me I don't! I'm sick of being watched!"

The whole table stops eating and stares at me. Some giggle, others give a sly smile, others just look on curious.

"It's alright Nico. It just seems like you're really not holding yourself back anymore."

_Not holding yourself back anymore_

_"_I'm not holding myself back Lou," I snap.

They still watch me.

"Nico?"

I clench my fists so tight the nails dig into my skin and I feel a moisture in my palms.

"What Hazel. What is it. What do you want. What are you worried about concerning me this time. What. Let's all fucken hear what is bothering you about me this time."

Hazel looks so hurt. I will never forgive myself.

"I just... I wanted to say... You're face... It's red..."

_Blush__ing_

"You wanna know why my face is red Hazel!"

"Yes Nico. We would all like to know," comments Lou.

I glare at Lou, "It's called fucken blush. I am blushing you bitch. I'm embarrassed."

They all stare at me now. Hazel looks at me with such hurt and shock in her eyes. I will never get this face of her caused by me out of my mind.

"Well. You shouldn't be embarrassed. You're just saying you're inner thoughts. Without a filter. That's fine."

"No it is not fucken FINE Rodrick. It is HORRIBLE."

He smiles at me.

"It seems like you don't often express yourself."

"I've got to get out of here."

"Nico. Please... Wait. It's... It's okay..."

I stare at Hazel.

I stare at Rodrick.

I stare at Lou.

I look at every face at this table. Most of them have black hair. Most of them have green eyes of different shades. Only a few look different.

"What are you. All fucken siblings!"

Some of them snicker. Some of them go wide eyed. Some of them glance at the other faces curiously.

"Technically-"

"No," I say to Lou, "No technically. I want the truth. I'm sick of half truths and lies. Just be HONEST with me!"

She smiles that sly knowing smile again.

"WHAT IS YOU'RE FUCKEN SECRET!"

A few tables around us look over, curious.

"Oh great... Just what I need. More reasons for people to fuck with me."

Hazel is watching me. It's like there is too much going on inside her she can't say any words.

I quiet down my voice to a low growl and speak to Rodrick and Lou.

"I know you both know something. And if you don't tell me I will _make_ you tell me."

I give a dangerous glare at them both.

Rodrick looks at Lou. I realize she's the leader. I glare at Lou. She shrugs.

"Most of us are half-siblings. Others of us are just friends."

I realize that most of the table has gone back to eating and talking amongst each other. I don't see anyone looking at us. Yet I feel one person's stare from behind me.

"Why. Who's you're shared parent."

Lou smiles sweetly, "Our mother."

I growl getting impatient.

"Nico!"

I turn to Hazel.

"Why are you being so rude! Stop it NOW."

I've never heard Hazel talk to me that way.

"Hazel. You don't understand. You never understand. NO ONE UNDERSTANDS"

Hazel looks at me with such hurt in her eyes. I don't know why I'm doing this.

"I don't know why I'm doing this," I mumble looking down ashamed.

I've never apologized before. Should I apologize?

"I'm sorry Hazel."

I mentally kick myself so badly I feel myself getting a head ache.

"N-Nico?..."

I look at my lap. I can't face any of these people. I'm so ashamed.

"I'm so ashamed."

Why do I keep saying what comes to my head.

"Why do I keep saying what comes to my head."

My mumbling is interrupted by Lou.

"It's a spell."

I look up at her sweet smiling face.

"What. Did. You. Do. To. Me. Filthy. Sly. Bitch."

Everything around me goes silent. The voices of chatter are distant. The faces are far off. Everything is spinning.

* * *

"Nico?"

"He'll wake up shortly. Don't summon anything. I just got my ears pierced and I'd rather them not torn out."

"Hey man. You okay?"

"How soon until he wakes up."

My stomach feels like It's going to blow. My head has the worst pounding migraine I could even imagine.

I creak my eyes open slightly. It's too bright. I feel the lights shining down on me like powerful sun rays. I close my eyes again.

"The lights. They bother him."

"Well I can't turn them off! The nurse will get pissed!"

"Do something! This is your fault!"

The light is covered from my face, shaded. I slowly creak my eyes open and see a blue shirt being held over my head. I turn my head to the side and see Rodrick's chest bare as he holds the blue shirt over me. Next to him is Hazel. And behind them is Lou.

I stare at Lou accusingly. I see her take a step back. The shadows around the room feel darker, more powerful. I've never felt so defenseless and angry directed at one person in my life.

"Nico."

My attention is caught by Hazel.

"They are children of Hecate."

I roll my eyes.

_No shit. _

I say nothing.

_Thank god._

No words.

_Lou better run for her fucken life. _

Still nothing. I know the spell is gone.

"I took the spell off you."

I look back at Lou.

She is afraid. She stands three feet behind Hazel and Rodrick. I feel her fear like a blanket. I smell it like a delicious food. I want to eat it.

She better be afraid.

"I...I'm sorry. I had no idea the spell would effect you like that."

"It is _supposed,"_ Rodrick says with annoyed glance back at Lou then looks back at me, still covering my head above, "to be a 'No Filter' spell. It makes the person say the first most loud thoughts be said right away. The person can not stop it from happening. The thoughts just come out of their mouth."

I look away from him. I'm not stupid. I figured that out by now.

"But it effected you differently than others. You said what your loudest thoughts were, but the thoughts were different. You weren't saying just thoughts. You were saying emotions."

_I will never eat food again_

"And I am assuming that since you do not normally say your thoughts or emotions, your mind could not take the strain of being forced to."

I glare at Rodrick. I see him shiver but he does not move away.

"Nico... I'm sorry. This was not what I wanted."

I look at her. She's so hurt I can't be mad at her. I only want to scream at myself for making her feel like that.

"Well...At least it wasn't like last time. Last time I did that spell the person talked for an hour a million miles a minute about everything under the sun. Heh heh."

We all glare at Lou. She backs up again.

"Sorry..."

"You'll be alright man. I swear. Just take it easy for a bit I guess."

I look at Rodrick, he begins to put his shirt back on. The light bothers my eyes and bothers my head ache, but not as bad as before.

* * *

**Hey guys ^_^ Glad you're still here.**** Hope you are enjoying the FF.  
**

**Please review, favorite, follow. I love feedback. **

**So as you probably noticed, I am keeping Nico gay. Except unlike the books, I will have how he fights with himself over being gay and such in the FF. Although him being gay will not be the central focus. **

**This story will eventually lead to Percy and Nico hooking up. But I'm not going to rush it or have a whole entire chapter just of Percy and Nico having fun. Na son, we gotta make shit complicated and more realistic :P So if any of you were worried that this was going to turn into a sappy love story, yeah, don't leave cause it wont. Unles you guys would like some sappy love story shit xD but it wont be the main focus of the story.  
**

**I would like it to be known it took me five hours yesterday to write this chapter. I am not joking. I put that much work and think of ideas and stuff for the story and it's chapters. Then it took me around half an hour to read over it and fix any mistakes. This is the quality of work I present to you. **

**Love you guys 3 Seriously, I appreciate the reading. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Alright guys. Shit sucks. School has started. '**_NNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO_**'. I know, I know. Well, that simply means you will have to wait longer than two days for a chapter update. But I will be updating once a week or once every two weeks. I'm very busy in school. I lead the GSA, I'm in leadership (like student council), In student council, and then I'm one of those people who have to study. Not to mention I've got home chores. But this is really enjoyable for me so it will be what I do in my free time. :) So STAY WITH ME HERE! YURH! **

**The contest whatever is still going. Review/comment a band(s) or a song(s) that you think Nico would like and I will add it into the story. I may also thank you at the end of the chapter for your contribution of a song(s)/band(s). :D **

**If you are still here, Imagine my avatar giving you cookies. **

**Btw, loving the reviews 3 thank you **

**^_^ ENJOY! **

* * *

I walk my way to the business class Father signed me up for. He chose the classes Hazel and I take, not us. I ignore the fact he signed me up for Drawing and painting, a class I would enjoy if I had actually gone yesterday. It's true, Father does own a funeral home, but it's not like I want to take it over. If I have to blend in with the mortal society, I want to do my own thing. I hate business.

Hazel, Lou, and Rodrick walk a few paces behind me. The nurse gave us all passes to our next class. I keep my hood up and face down. Hands in my pockets. They all tried to tell me it will be okay. No one will say anything about it. No one noticed anything.

But I know they are lying. And I dread next class even more than usual.

Rodrick leaves us at the second floor to go to his Biology class. Lou left us on the third floor to go to her academic. Hazel and I walk up the stairs to the forth floor.

"Nico."

I stop walking. We are still in the stairwell, but standing on the forth floor. I do not turn around as I stand in the doorway to the hall.

"Nico..."

Her voice cracks. I know she's trying to remain calm. I look at my shoes.

"I'm sorry... I never meant for any of this to happen... I didn't... I didn't realize how... how angry you are at me..."

She sounds on the verge of tears.

"I wont... I wont try to help you anymore. I'll wait to see if you want to talk first... I'll... I'll... I can..."

I wait.

"Nico... I'm sorry... I never thought this would happen... Please forgive me... I'm sorry..."

I nod then go into the hallway and head to my class. I don't look back.

* * *

"These are things you need to know if you ever plan on being successful."

I stare at my notes. I understand it all.

'_Don't be a fuck up.' _That's the key to owning a business. It seems I will never do well in any business career. Father has too much faith in me, if any at all.

The students have been focusing on me since the moment I walked in. I sit in the back of the classroom so I not only feel it, I see all.

They turn or glance back to stare. They pass notes. They whisper. They silently laugh. All at me. I hear some of the whispers. I know it was far worse than Hazel, Lou, or Rodrick tried to tell me it was.

"He just fainted and started twitching!"

"Was it a seizure?"

"No. Otherwise he wouldn't be in class. Why is he in this class anyways? He wont be able to go anywhere in this."

_Thanks for vote of confidence. I already knew that. _

"The nurse let him out fifteen minutes after."

"I wonder what happened."

"You think he was possessed?"

"What was he saying anyways. Was it just a bunch of mumbling or was he actually saying things."

"I wasn't there but I heard in the halls that he began to cry."

"NO WAY!"

"Yeah."

"I saw him pull on his hair. Like he was some animal."

I look up and I feel half the class shiver. Good.

"Psst. Hey."

I look to the chair to my right. Rachel sits there. I look back to my notes and try to focus on what the teacher is saying.

"Nico!"

I glare at her. Could she whisper any louder?

She tosses a note onto my desk. Mrs. Taylor turns to us and begins to explain some more. Rachel looks down at her notes as if she did nothing. I look at the folded up paper on my desk.

"Nico. Are you paying attention? Do you need to go to the nurse again?"

I glance up. She seems annoyed. I shake my head and look back at my notes.

"Then please pay attention. You will be tested on this."

I nod. She goes back to writing on the white board.

"Read it!"

I ignore Rachel's whisper shout and the folded paper on my desk and try to focus on was is being taught

My desk jolts an inch to the side. I turn and glare at Rachel, ready to murder.

But she is looking straight at the teacher, her hand on her desk, pointing to the folded paper.

I look back at the paper and take it. I unfold it in my lap.

_Nico. Are you okay? _

_I was there in lunch. You fainted and began to twitch. You were_

_also mumbling things although no one could understand you. _

_What happened? _

_No one could understand me.  
_

_Of coarse to one could understand me, no one ever understands me. _

Those thoughts clutter my mind as I fold the paper back up and flip it onto her desk.

* * *

I wait for Hazel at the edge of the woods. She walks up slowly with a nervous expression. I look up at her through my hair.

"Hey... Are you okay?"

_Am I okay? I was poisoned with a spell that made me weak. I fainted in front of half the school and mumbled incoherently. People everywhere think I was possessed by the devil, who-may I add- is our father. I was stared at, mocked, laughed and pointed at through the halls and parking lot as I walked here. I am planning how to kill a stupid girl. The school thinks I am going to burn it down and I am half debating on it. Am I okay? What a dumb question._

I nod and walk into the woods. She follows me. I feel eyes on me from the parking lot but do not pay any attention, just make sure we walk a bit into the forest as to not be seen.

Hazel looks at me with concern in her eyes. I hold out my hand and she takes it. I take a step and shadow-travel us into our living room.

"I've been waiting for you."

Father sits in his living-room-throne chair. It's not his throne from hell, it is not anywhere near as extravagant as that. Its simply a very large, very fancy, old fashioned Gothic chair for someone of major authority. One of a kind.

Father sits comfortably and casually in his chair. His face is of annoyance, yet patience.

I let go of Hazel's hand and walk out of the room.

_"Nico. If you leave now you will not have the help you need."_

I ignore Father's soft echo that goes throughout the house like a whisper and march myself up the stairs. He doesn't truly care anyways.

I march up the second, and the third set of stairs. I reach the forth floor, march my way to the back hall, pull down the ceiling door and ladder, climb my way up. And slam the floor door shut.

Mocha stands behind me meowing.

"Go eat!"

She continues to meow. I walk over to her dish. It's empty.

_I'm such an idiot. _

I'll get her food later on. I don't feel like going into the mortal world, being stared at as I buy cat food from a store, and feeling their judgmental ignorant eyes. I don't want to deal with mortals right now.

I don't want to deal with anyone.

I sit down at my desk and get out my business homework. Filling out and answer questions on the type of business you would some day like to be a part of.

_I don't want to be a part of a business. I never wanted to be apart of a business. I did not choose this class. My father did. I hate this. _

I fill out the questions on how I want to take over my Father's business, make our funeral home larger and spread. I say how I would manage it.

Now the teachers will all look this over and think I'm a morbid child. They already do anyways.

Two days of school. I have been at this school for two days. That is it. I've gone through more than enough already. This torture will not be over. I've got four years of this to look forward to every day I wake up.

I Put the business sheet in my folder and stuff it back into my bookbag. I look at the five sketch books I have stacked under my desk. Which one do I want.

Each sketch book is a different type of paper. Some are strictly for pencil, some are strictly for paints. Others can use pencil, ink and coal. Each of them are also a different size. Each one a different texture.

I pick the pocket-sized pencil, Ink, and coal sketch book and open it on my desk. I open to the forth page in it, the next clean page. I havn't drawn much in this sketchbook.

I get my black char coal pencil and begin to make light crescent shaped lines.

I then add light streaks coming out from the crescent line, and then I round the crescent line and make a small oval.

Then a circle on the inside.

The lines become darker and more intense. I look at it from a few different angels. I add shape, shade, and texture.

It becomes more than just lines, it becomes a picture, it becomes life.

I spend about thirty minutes drawing my image. Finally, I'm done.

I lean back and stare at my drawing.

It's of an eye. The eye understands. It sees, knows, and feels. It hurts because it understands the hurt.

The eye has such a depth and such a deep yearning to comfort.

It is an eye I will never look into. For no eye like that will ever look at me.

I rip the page out of my sketch book, crumble it up, and toss it somewhere in my room. I hear the cat playing with it.

I hope she eats it. I hope I never have to feel a yearning to want to be looked at by an eye like that again.

* * *

The night is long. It is quieter than usual. It has a soft whisper about it.

I lay on my back in my bed. Mocha purrs on my thigh, and although there is a stinging burn from the pressure there, I don't push her away.

Instead I stroke her back.

There's nothing to see except darkness and I'm alone with my thoughts.

The air is thick and feels like a blanket although I wear nothing. It's all somber.

Most nights I fall asleep trying to escape-which never works-. Tonight I did it again, but I'm not going to sleep, I'm staying up.

Everything feels more intense.

You're thoughts take on a whole new level in the still of night than they do in the day. It's like they all line up at an AA meeting and expect and long speech about them in detail.

I wish I could not think. Thing's would be so much easier if I could simply be numb again.

I realized that I began to truly feel different emotions again. Since I woke up earlier today, I've felt felt shame, hurt, sadness. It was different from feeling ignored and angry.

Lou will die a painful death for doing this to me. I do not want to feel.

Feeling hurts.

Bianca crosses my mind.

I remember when we were little and her and I would play together.

I was only 4 then. Bianca was 7. Hazel was not living with us yet.

Bianca was my older sister. I would go to school and be shy. I tried to play with the other kids, but...I was always excluded. They thought I looked weird. When I would come home, Bianca would play with me. Bianca and I would play everyday. We would sit and watch movies.

Bianca and I had the same mother. She had some memories of our mother before we came to live with Father. I've never had any because we came when I was two. I have very vague memories of a women with dark brown -almost black- hair. Speaking to me in Italian words and then things go black.

Bianca told me that at the time Father told us that mother had gone on a vacation and we were going to stay with him. He sometimes spent time with us, watched us play with the toys he got, a few times he ate dinner with us. But most of my childhood memories of care-givers were servants of his. Different creatures. I don't remember him ever caring for us truly. Only some hugs. If he ever did, I've blocked it out.

When I was 6, Bianca was 9. She still played with me but we talked more. She told me how things were for her, and I told her how things were for me. She never said I was weird, different, messed up or a mistake. She never told me I was bad or needed to control myself either. She always helped me in everything. She was my big sister.

I was 9. She was 12.

Most people do not realize just how much a nine year-old knows. Most people think kids that age are young, innocent or obnoxious, don't realize the world or know much. They think that nine year-olds don't pick up on things.

They're wrong.

Nine year old children see, know, learn, and realize a lot more than anyone older thinks. They hurt and feel and that's when everything starts.

12 is when everything has begun, and you've realized it fully.

I remember Bianca coming home from school. She would walk in the door with facial expressions I have never erased from my mind. She became more closed off, more careful. I remember her flinching from anyone's touch. She became scared.

She never knew I saw this. The moment she saw me, Bianca always gave me the biggest smile. She helped me with my homework. She watched movies with me. She made me lunches for school. She sometimes made food for us at dinner. Sometimes she would take me to the mortal world and we would go to the parks. Or walk in the woods.

All along she had the greatest smile. Always smiling. Always big smiles.

Being young I knew she was happy to be with me, but I knew when I wasn't there Bianca was hurting. So I thought I was the only one who could make her happy, I was by her all the time. I even demanded to sleep in her bed some nights.

I only realized later that she was hiding and denying her emotions, for me. She was happy only for me. And I demanded her to force herself to be happy too much. All the time.

I denied her to feel hurt.

I never understood.

I was 11. She was 14.

Bianca seemed to get better and worse and then better and then worse. She never told me about her emotions, her school, her personal life. Bianca never told me about anything personal. She would always hear about me. And I could tell her anything and everything. And she always listened and never said a negative thing about it. Always accepting.

This was the year Hazel came into my life. She was our sister. Half-sister. She came because her mom had been killed. She never shared the details about it, I never felt the need to ask. Hazel was secretive about her life before us. She claimed she knew who her father was because Father had visited her once. But nothing more.

I loved her and spent time with her. Bianca spent time with her also. We were all together. But Bianca and I were always the closest.

I turned 12. Bianca was 15.

We were in the woods.

My abilities had become out of hand. She was supposed to train me. Bianca had similar abilities and was going to teach me to control them. Because I had killed a teacher, multiple plants, rotted away a desk, and more.

We stood in the woods. I said I was afraid of it. She said don't be.

I told her I can't control it. She said she had faith and believed in me that I could.

I told her it's not safe. She claimed It would be okay.

It was not okay.

The thoughts become too much and I lay on my side. My shoulder burns and I know I scratched a scab off on the blanket by mistake. I squeeze my eyes shut and ignore a liquid that once again slides from my eye, down my temple, and onto the mess of blanket and hair.

Mocha meows, annoyed her previous resting spot in unattainable.

I ignore her and convince myself there is nothing.

* * *

"Nico, read please."

I think of all the vicious things I could do that would give Mr. Chiron nightmares he can not even imagine. I am beginning to think the whole 'frail, weak, crippled man' thing is an act. He's horrible. And has a death wish just as Lou.

_Where is Lou anyways?_

"Nico? I asked you to read please?_"_

Hazel clears her throat next to me. Telling me to 'just read'.

I start at the top of chapter 4.

In the past three classes, we've gotten this far in the book.

I relish in the fact it is Friday and I do not have to come here tomorrow.

I read, and read, and read. I finishing the chapter. That is when Mr. Chiron finally tells me I can stop.

"Very nice Nico. We'll stop there for today."

_Of coarse we will asshole. You realized the whole class was snickering, whispering, and passing notes. And we both know fat man, that it is connected to me._

"Today instead of writing a summary of what we've read, I want you to write about what we've read means to you. Does anything so far hold symbolism for you. Does anything stick out the most. Can you relate to anything we've read so far."

_Oh... I can't relate to this at all. Just being the child of the God of Death himself. Being able to watch and kill people. Being able to tell when a person is going to die. Trying not to feel for people. _

_No. I don't think I can relate at all. _

"Write about it. I want a whole page done by the end of class to be turned in."

I look down at my binder and open to the next clean page.

I stare.

What am I supposed to write?!

That I can relate to the story because I am like death?

Yeah... I don't think that would go over well.

I look around the room. Some are staring off into nothing while others write, focused on their paper. I hear Hazel writing next to me. I wonder what she is able to write.

I stare down at my paper again. It's still blank.

Obviously.

I keep my hands in my lap as I stare at the paper.

There is nothing. Absolutely nothing.

The bell rings and everyone begins to pack up. As they walk out the door they hand their papers to Mr. Chiron.

"Nico, come on. We've got earth science."

I look up at Hazel and nod, collect my stuff, and follow her. She hands her completed paper to Mr. Chiron and walks out. I follow after her.

"Nico. I did not receive a paper from you."

I freeze in the doorway. Hazel is already on her way down the busy hall.

"Please come to my desk Nico."

I walk over and keep my head down.

_I'm so fucken stupid. _

"May I have your paper Nico?"

I shake my head slowly.

"And why is that?"

I stare at my shoes. Today I'm wearing my black lace-up boots. They are steel toed.

"Nico."

I growl and set my bookbag down on the desk behind me. I take my binder out, and rip the empty paper out of it. I slam the blank sheet on his desk.

He says nothing. In fact, he picks the paper up and begins to look at it as if reading it. His eyes following the imaginary words.

Finally, he sets the paper down and looks up at me.

"Ah Nico. A very interesting paper. Would you like to know what I read?"

I shake my head.

"That's a shame."

I keep staring at my shoes. I wonder how many kicks it would take to paralyze his arms too.

I hear him sigh, "I suppose I'll have to keep the information I read to myself then. You may go."

I grab my bag and run out of the classroom, shoving my way into the crowd.

"What the hell is wrong with you!"

"Hey!"

"Asshole!"

I ignore their comments and squeeze through the people. I get to the stairs and quickly make my way down them. Shoving others aside.

"Yo Jackass!"

"What's your problem?!"

"Hey! You could hurt someone!"

_I will hurt someone unless I can get distracted._

I walk into the Earth Science room to see Professor Bacchus sitting at his desk. Which is strange because he is always at least ten minutes late.

"Take a seat Nico."

I walk to the back where Bianca sits at our usual lab table.

"No no. Not there. How about over there."

He points to the lab table where Clarisse sits.

I keep my head down and sit in the chair next to hers. The few students in the class gasp or chuckle. I stare at my feet. I can feel Hazel's concerned and angry eyes on me but I don't acknowledge her.

More students arrive into the classroom. Professor Bacchus tells certain students where to sit also.

"What is **_HE_** doing there?"

I look at my lap once I hear Clarisse's whine.

I'm so embarrassed. I''m so stupid. I should just leave. I shouldn't be here. I will only get laughed at.

"HE is your new table partner Clarisse."

"WHAT!? No! I can't work with him Professor Bacchus. He doesn't do anything right and is always messing it all up."

"Although how true that may be Clarisse-"

_It's more than true. It's fact._

"I will explain it all when class begins"

I do not hear the familiar sounds of the cap on his thermos popping as he takes a sip. I realize I have not heard it at all so far.

The bell rings. Everyone is in the classroom. Clarisse has not sat down yet.

"Professor Bacchus. I can't work with-"

"SIT!"

I feel half the class jolt in surprise. Clarisse scampers over and sits down.

"I will make this hell for you."

She whispers in my ear.

_I live in hell dumb ass._

"Your quality of work is lacking. Fix it."

He demands this of us as if the fact we are not doing well is our fault, not his.

"The work you are presenting me with is pathetic. Improve. answer the questions, to the packets, do the experiment activities. And stop wasting my time."

There is a moment of silence as everyone thinks about the fact he doesn't even give us his time to waste.

It's completely unfair.

_Number One Rule: Life's not fair. Get. Over. It._

"You'll notice some seats have been changed if you have any intelligence."

_Doesn't take a God to notice a movement in regular placement Professor Drunk._

"This is so that you can torment each other so I don't have to. Ha, ha. Kidding... The seat change is because the 'hope' is that you will learn to work together with others. This was suggested to me by another teacher. I however, do not believe that any of you have any hope of working together."

_Then why did you do this Genius. _

"I placed you into different seats to watch how it goes for my own amusement though."

_At my expense. _

"Now. Do the work you're supposed to, and don't make me have to complain again."

I open my binder and the work booklet inside it. Clarisse huffs and opens hers also. She begins to answer the questions. I do the same.

"So what do you like to do Nico."

She says it with no true interest. I don't respond.

"Nothing? Do you do nothing?"

Again with the mild mocking tone. I continue to answer the questions.

"Fine. I do a lot though. More than you could ever imagine."

I continue to ignore her.

"_My Dad_ is extremely strong and teaches me a lot of things. He is the one who helped me get into wrestling. I also do boxing. Does _your Dad_ spend time with you? Does _your Dad_ teach you anything?"

I stiffen in my chair, bringing my shoulders slightly forward. My writing becomes more pressured.

"_My Dad_ also gave me the ring you're thief of a sister tried to steal. Has _your Dad_ ever given _you_ anything?"

I stop writing.

"Hmph. Guess not. You're _Dad_ probably doesn't even_ care_ for you. Is that why you keep to yourself. Is that why_ you're._ _Always. Alone."_

I glare at her. Clarisse puts her hand open in front of her face, the red ruby shines bright.

"Absorbs any darkness. Cool isn't it."

Her mumbling catches me off and I realize what I did. I turn to Professor Bacchus.

He stares right at us with a smirk on his face.

_Thanks Dad._

I've just made a huge mistake. I know it. I've fucked myself over.

I look at my booklet. I feel them both still staring at me. Eventually, Clarisse goes back to her work, silent but, I still feel Professor Bacchus's eyes on me.

_You're always fucking up. You can't do anything right. You always get yourself into trouble and cause it. Now you've been caught. Such a fucken dumb ass. This is all your fault. You deserve this. You've deserved this ever since then. Ever since Bianca. You have never improved. Everything you try, everything you do, everything you want. All pointless because you'll just fuck it up. You should just quit. Be the coward. Run. So stupid. _

I sit still in my chair. An hour of pain, humiliation, shame, and self-hate torments my mind until the saving bell.

I begin to stand to leave with the rest of the class.

"No, no. Not you Nico. You will be staying here. Everyone else can leave."

The students stare at me and whisper as they leave. Hazel gives me a look of concern then walks out into the halls. Clarisse snickers.

I gather my things up and walk to Professor Bacchus's desk.

"Nico. Do you know why I am speaking to you right now."

_Because you like to see me fail. _

I shake my head no.

"I am speaking with you to warn you. You not being able to 'control your abilities' will not be an acceptable excuse to me."

I stare at him.

"You may be able to get away with harming a son of Hermes. But harming a daughter of Ares is a very different matter."

My eyes go wide and he has my full attention. He smirks.

"If I were you, I would make allies before I make enemies. Which you have failed to do. So far, you have two possible enemies."

He can't be seriously telling me that he knows. He can't truly know. That's impossible.

He takes a sip from his thermos. I smell wine.

"Your father had tried very hard to convince all the Gods that you do not know how to control your abilities. He has tried very hard to defend you."

_My Father? Defend me? All the Gods!?_

"Very few will say anything. But me? I. Am. Not. Convinced. I know you can control them. You pretend to not know how."

"What do you mean my father has tried to defend me," I say in a low growl. I look him in the eyes, my face very real. And very dangerous.

"Daddy Issues?"

I continue to glare. I want to rot his face off. I want his bones to decay. I want his skin to melt away.

I see a purple aura surround him. All the plants in the room decay instantly.

He laughs.

"Not very wise to challenge a God, Son of Hades."

I don't care. I continue to glare at him. His grin becomes wider as if this is all some great humorous joke to him. The lights in the classroom pop.

The only light come in through the windows.

"Are you quite done? This performance will cost lots of money if you continue."

His wooden desk begins to rot away.

He sighs and picks up his thermos off the desk.

"You continue to keep trying to make enemies. That's a specialty, isn't it."

"If you weren't an ASSHOLE I would not HAVE to make ENEMIES!"

My shout is louder than I expected. The desk is gone, the table near the windows is gone, all the pencils in the room are gone. There is a small fire smoldering the white board.

"Ah... Yes... It is clear to me you do have control. Your abilities are simply fueled by strong emotion. Which causes you to lash out and release them through destruction since it appears you do not release them in any other way. You should get a hobbie. Making alcohal was once a hobbie of mine."

I stare at him in disbelief. This guy is toying with me.

Professor Bacchus grins as he leans back in his chair. The light purple aura still surrounding him, like grape juice.

I try to stop myself from causing anything more to happen. When I try it's like a rubber band being stretched inside my stomach. My feet feel like they are being pulled downwards but there is a huge resistance. My body heats up.

"What. Do. You. Want."

He smiles, "Oh. I simply wanted to see the incredible performance of an over-dramatic Son of Hades try to kill a God. Quite something, wasn't it."

I feel the pull stronger at my feet, the resistance greater. My stomach feeling like it is being tied into knots and then folded over. My body no longer feels like it is on fire. My body feels like it is fire.

He claps a few times. Slowly, sarcastically.

"Well done Son of Hades. You are quite the dangerous one. We gods should do something about you. A major threat in a school of mortals and other demi-gods. I mean, just look at the lovely display you have given us. A beautiful play of demonstrating just how serious you are as a threat."

I don't need to look around to know what I've done. I've fucked it all up again.

He smiles pleasantly. "I do have to admire the great work though. Such an act you portray all the time must be hard to keep up when this is how you truly are."

I look at my shoes, ashamed. I see something different though. These are not my regular shoes.

They are spiked black warrior boots.

I look at my legs.

I am not wearing my regular pants.

I see white bone, black metal spikes on leg plates. It shines.

I look at my hands and see they are flaming blue bones of a hand.

My arms are bone but covered with black metals with spikes, chains, little small containers hang from the chains.

I look at my abdomen. The bone blends into flesh at my thighs. The flesh has skin, I feel it up to my shoulders.

I wear black protective gear. Underneath the armor is black torn cotton-type pants, and a torn black long sleeve.

The armor is black metal and spikes protrude out from it. Chains hang over it. The little containers seem to contain different souls. Each soul belongs to a hell creature. A black sword hangs off my hip.

I move something attached to my back and feel large black wings.

I don't feel my face at all. I feel my skull.

I take a step back away from the pleasant smiling god who is my teacher. With every step there is the combination of clinks from my armor. The chains rattle.

"Do you see yourself? Do you feel yourself?"

I shake my skull no. I keep shaking it. The resistance and pull at my feet is stronger than before. My stomach feels like it is being torn in half. My body feels... I don't have much of a body to feel.

"You're truly a monster. Driven by vicious demonic animal instinct."

I walk backwards into a desk and fall on my ass. I grab at the desk but the moment my bones touch it, the desk disintegrates into nothing.

Professor Bacchus continues to sit in his chair. Relaxed as if watching a pleasant movie or play.

"This will be quite the gossip on Olympus. I'm sure it's already being talked about what you will do next.

I vomit all over myself. Only blood, and black goop comes up.

"That sure was not expected."

I stare at him in shock and fear. I feel myself move something in my back and feel my wings spread, pushing the lab tables in my way.

"What a mess you are making. It will take quite some explaining to do to the school board. Thankfully, there are gods and demi-gods alike who help run this school. Very few mortals run the school. We only have mortal teachers and students."

I vomit again. This time I cough up a small bone.

"Oh would you please stop that. It's disgusting. I never liked vomit."

I feel myself being torn on the inside and realize that my bones have taken on the color of a dark red. I feel a massive throbbing all throughout my skull.

"Are you having trouble containing yourself Nico? Clearing your father has failed to warn -or teach- you about this new form of yourself and it's consequences. I fear he has not taught you anything at all in fact. You appear to have never known you were ever this monster."

I look at him. I can't speak. I stare into his eye, my eyes pleading for help. I realize I don't have eyes. Instead I feel a small flame where I would normally feel pupils.

"Would you like me to call your daddy for help? Maybe he can save you again. I thought he would be here by now but it appears he will not be joining us. You've been left alone to manage it with no one."

I roll over onto my hands and knees. I stare at the ground and breath heavy. I vomit again. I can barely think I am in so much pain. Confusion, shock, and pain are the only things that claw at my mind.

"Oh yes. That's okay. You've only been sitting there for 30 minutes, why not rest on your hands and knees for another thirty minutes."

I'm in too much pain to even calculate the time and all the details concerning how long I've been like this. It's felt like an eternity of two minutes.

"Would you get yourself under control by now. This is not very amusing anymore."

I rest on my hands and knees. I try to bring my wings in while ignoring the massive pain and confusion. I am only able to close them.

"Nico. I am going to send you to your father. That would be the best thing for you. Would you like that? Me caring about you and sending you to the only one who can help you. Because it seems that he does not care enough to come here. How horrible."

I register what he says and try to object, but the moment I figure out how to speak with only teeth and jaw bones, everything becomes blurry.

* * *

**Hello everyone! Well, a lot happened in this chapter. We found out what happened to Bianca (everything but the last few details). We found out Clarisse is a Daughter of Ares. We learned the Professor Bacchus is a god. We also learned that other gods and demi-gods control the school. But most importantly, we discovered Nico's form. His first transformation. I suppose this is what his Father wanted to help him with. **

**Questions we've got now. Well, what exactly happened to Bianca and Nico when they were in the forest? What was Hazel's life like before she came to live with her Father? How was Hazel's and Bianca's relationship? Where is Lou? Why is Chiron so nice to Nico. What did Chiron mean when he said he read information about Nico. Why is Professor Bacchus such a dick-head to Nico. What is this transformation Nico is going through? How will he transform back into human form? Can Hazel do that? Does Nico's Father really not care for Nico? And most importantly!**

**WHEN IS THE NEXT UPDATE?!**

**Stay tuned for more on Nico, Hazel, and their life as Children of Hades trying to blend in with mortals and demi-gods who seem to have it all under control. **

**We apologize that this was such a late update and hope that the chapter made up for the lateness of it. Please stay with us. **

**Don't forget to review/comment Band(s) or song(s) that you think Nico would like. **

***hearts***


	6. Chapter 6

**Hello my gorgeous fans. I know I left the last chapter off a an exciting cliff hanger but... What else am I supposed to do to keep you engrossed. :) **

**Give me feedback. I love positive and negative critique. Share any ideas you may have or ways I could improve it. Love encouragement and comments/reviews saying you love it ^_^ **

**Still open to comment song(s) or band(s) that you think describes Nico or what you think he would like to listen to. **

**Favorite, follow, tell your friends about my story. :D Love you guys**

* * *

I'm curled up in fetal position on a floor. The floor is carpeted. I feel the eyes of someone on me.

Slowly, I look around. A wave of nausea takes me over the moment I do and I puke up black goo onto the carpet. For a moment I begin to panic because I do not feel lips, only teeth and a jaw bone. Then I come to the realization that it was not a dream.

I glance up and see Father sitting in his living room throne, staring down at me. I can see concern in his eyes but the rest of his face is a mask of annoyance... Or is he truly angry with me.

I try to sit up but my gut tightens into mass pain. I grown and stare straight ahead. It's cold.

"You wont be able to sit up. Stop trying."

His voice is cold, emotionless. I feel worthless.

_It's because I'm a disappointment. _

"You've been unconscious for over an hour. You've been able to adjust to your present body. Although mentally you have not been able to accept it, resulting in your present set backs."

His voice is calm, but there is still an edge to it.

I look up at him. He stares down. His face still seemingly annoyed although I can still see a concern in his eyes.

I slowly bring my arms up and slowly push up onto them.

Once again I feel the need to puke but I hold it in. I don't want to look week. I am vulnerable enough.

I slowly bring my knees up so I am resting on hands and knees. A pain hits my stomach and my head begins to throb. I grind my teeth. The tension is like nothing before.

I rest in this position for a what seems like a few minutes. Trying to adjust to the constant feeling of pain. I soon realize there is no adjusting to the pain, only coping with it and continuing on. I push myself back off my hands. I sit on my legs, but still upright. The pain in constant. My head throbs.

"You've made it this far. Keep going."

I grit my teeth more. I can not tell if hes encouraging me or criticizing me. I spend a few minutes adjusting to the feeling of my skull not drooping or leaning on something. Your skull up in the air feels very different than on the floor.

I put one hand down in front of me and pull a leg out from under me. I adjust myself so I am kneeling. Then bend on one knee.

It's a strange feeling. Feelings only certain parts of your body sweat and not the whole thing. Then again, 75% of my body is bone.

I stand and instantly double over and vomit. I vomit black goo. I vomit greens and yellows. I vomit browns. I vomit anything that was in my stomach. My hands resting on my knees as I lean over.

I spend at least ten minutes puking myself up. Then I am able to stop.

I stare down at my vomit. It's disgusting. _I'm _disgusting.

"Good job."

I glance up at my Father. He sits four feet away from me. Relaxed. His tone sounds sincere. His face is unreadable.

I stand upright, ignoring the constant throbbing pain, and shoot daggers at his eyes.

"What. Is. Wrong. With. Me."

My voice comes out as a low growl. It is not the voice of a human.

"Nothing."

His voice is calm and casual.

"Then what did you do to me!?"

"Made you."

This is not the conversation I wanted to have.

"Why am I like_ this_?! Where is my _human_ body! _ALL_ of it! What is this _Form_?! Take me _Seriously_!"

I see him sigh. As if these questions are simple and he's explained it many times before.

_Probably because he has._

"You're fifteen. This happens for you at your age. Since you're not full demonic blood, your body does not change completely. Only as much as you are in tune with your demonic blood. And it seems a good portion of you is demonic."

If I knew I could get help from anywhere else I would have left the moment he started talking. But I know it's either him or on my own. And I don't want to be alone...

"Why. What does this mean."

"It means that you have more abilities in this form. You are stronger. You were lethal before, now you are even worse. It means you need to finally learn to accept and control yourself."

_I can never accept myself. Not after trying to accept myself led me to kill who only ever accepted me._

"How do I change back. I don't want this."

For the first time in my life I hear my Father laugh.

"Does it matter what you want? Its happened. It is. There is no going back or changing what is. Your options are to accept it, embrace it, and move on. Or fight it and suffer."

His words sting. They are both caring and accepting yet harsh.

I look down.

"Don't be ashamed of who you are."

I look back up at him. I look at his face. I look at his eyes.

_He cares. _

I nod in silence.

"Calm yourself. Get yourself under control. Focus on what you want and make it so."

His words are confusing. How the hell am I supposed to calm myself and make myself human again? I can't do it. I can't control my form. It just happens to me. I can't change it.

"It's your choice to be in human form or not. You make what happens to you happen."

I look down once again. This time he does not tell me otherwise. '_I. Can't.' _echos throughout my head. Yet another part of my mind whispers, '_Can...'_

I focus on nothing. I look at nothing in particular. In my head I imagine myself being human again. I imagine feeling fleshy fingers instead of thin bones. I imagine feeling my leg and arm muscles, not strong hard bone. I imagine feeling my comfy clothes, not the heavy metal armor. I imagine wearing my regular stud belt, not a sword belt.

I feel it slowly. The flesh from my torso begins to spread, as if crawling down my bones.

The process takes all of fifteen minutes and I look down at myself. I see my human body and clothes. I bring my hands up and gently touch my face. My skin has a layer of sweat on it. I feel the long locks of hair brushing my neck and shoulders.

I am human.

I close my eyes and feel the corners of my mouth inch up. The feeling is strange,and foreign yet mildly familiar. Like a long distance friend that I have not seen in many years that I have just hugged. There are many changes in them yet they are still the same as before.

I realize that... It's because I have not felt this is a long time yet many years ago did.

It's my smile.

I bite the inside of my cheek and feel myself frown again.

I look at Father.

I know he saw but he says nothing about it. Instead I see the curves of his mouth pointed up, his eyes soft. His face says he is pleased.

I feel a feeling inside my lungs. Its once again a foreign friend. I think it is pride or excitement.

"If I send you back now, you will have missed half of your drawing and painting class. Or you could stay home and once again miss the full class. It is your choice."

_Go back to school. Deal with asshole people and teachers out to get me. Or stay home, draw, read, think, and be alone in peace. _

"I'll stay home."

He nods and I know that is my sign to leave. I turn and begin to walk out of the room.

"Nico."

I stop.

"From now on whenever you use your abilities or loose your temper, you must focus on feeling and being human. Otherwise you will change form."

I nod again. Still not looking back.

"You've done well. You can do more."

It is both encouragement, criticism, and praise.

I feel myself make a small smile as I walk up to my room.

* * *

Instead of drawing I read. I sit in my chair and read as Mocha lays in my lap. I stoke her back with one hand and in response I get soft purrs that make the stinging from pressure on my thighs seem worth it. Worth the stinging to hear the soft purrs.

I realize that I care about Mocha. Without her, I would feel much lonelier. Although her presence is often annoying, I've found it annoying in a pleasant way. The little animal brings out a kind of gentleness in me.

I'm half way through my 258 page book when I hear a call for me from under my floor door.

Mocha jumps onto the floor and walks over to her food dish. She circles it and meows at me. I make a mental note to go and buy her food as I open up the ceiling door to see Hazel looking up nervously. A few crystals lay beside her feet.

"I... I was worried..."

I push the ladder down and climb down. Mocha stands looking down, she reminds me of wanting food with another meow.

"Professor Bacchus called me to his room..."

I stare at her. Instantly I feel the overwhelming sensation of guilt, shame, and anger. I am reminded of my life. It is not nice.

I should make note to remember that Children of Hades rarely have Good lives.

"I um... You don't... You don't look like you... um..."

I shake my head and look down. My mumble is barely audible.

"I changed back..."

Hazel nods. I can feel the fear off her.

"He um... Professor Bacchus is... Uhm..."

I notice about fifteen gems appear around her feet.

"I know Hazel."

She nods.

We stand, me looking down and her looking at me. The silence lasts for what seems like years. Years of distance. Years of unsaid emotion. Years of fear. Years of knowing.

I feel something grow between Hazel and I. Although i feel that she is scared... I also feel a different emotion off of her.

Instead of being the familiar lemon scent to my nose of fear, there is also a mixture of a lavender scent. Her body language is defensive, but also as if she is reaching out to me.

It's new to me...

I realize it's the same feeling that I got from Chiron. From Jason. From Percy. And from father...

I take a step back and ignore the sensation.

"I'm fine. You can go."

Hazel bites her lip, nods, but walks away.

I climb back up to my room to be greeted by an annoyed yell meow.

"I know Mocha. I'm going now."

I grab my leather jacket with the cotton hood and climb back down.

No one comes across my path as I walk out of the house. No one bothers to ask.

* * *

**Hey guys. It's been awhile, way to long. I know. I'm sorry about that. Sometimes this crazy thing called life happens and it trips you and you stumble and dont have as much free time as you did before. But I've worked on this chapter over time and hope you liked it even thought it is short. I promise I will try to write and update more. Maybe once every few weeks, I dont know how often I will be able to though. Sorry. But I AM CONTINUING THIS FANFICTION because I'm actually very proud of it and have become attached to poor angsty angry Nico here. x3 So please leave me a review and stay with me and my story 3 **


	7. Chapter 7

Although it is only around four in the afternoon, the air outside is cold and seems to bite my skin. It's dark in Father's part of town but the darkness seems more colder, as if it has a mind of it's own and is glaring at me with invisible eyes. The cracked paved street is always hard but with each step I take it seems like it is harder than normal. There is nothing about right now either, which is strange. Often times you can see wandering spirits, hell hounds, or hell creatures walking about this part of the city but there is no one right now.

_Fear._

I smell it. I feel it. It's everywhere. That is why it's darker, that is why no being is wandering, that is why everything feels different. Fear. Fear is driving everything away and making everything more intense.

I follow the scent of it. The lemon scent that stings my nose yet makes me hungry. The scent is very strong here. I keep walking forward out of Father's domain of the city, remembering I am only going out to buy Mocha food, but I can still smell the fear. It is the strongest I've ever smelled, yet it's different. Although it is mildly pleasing to my nose, there is an edge to it.

I walk in silence and soon I am among the seemingly 'mortal world' again. Cars go by and people honk their horns and others yell and fight. The edge of Father's domain is always the nastiest past of the mortal's town.

No one bothers me as I walk. Some watch me as if I am a threat, but that is only because they are scared. It is normal for one who is scared to feel threatened and become defensive. But no one bothers me.

I refuse to buy anything from the local stores around here. The few times I tried, some dumb ass with a death wish would try to steal from me and have their wish granted. I can't keep fucking up like that though... So I've learned to shop elsewhere.

Normally I would shadow-travel to the closest nice town and roam around a bit until I found the stores I needed to go to, but for some reason today all I want to do is walk.

_Walk and never stop._

* * *

The sky is dark and the clouds are like a blanket. I hadn't realized just how tired my legs were until I stopped walking. I lean against the wall of the convenient store I've just entered and look for a clock some where in the small corner store. Behind the cashier is a clock saying it's nine at night. I close my eyes and lean my head back to rest, my legs shaking.

_So stupid. You've never walked that far before, you're not a physically active person. You can't do something like that. You've been walking for at least four hours. So fucken stupid. _

I feel the cashier watching me. She is a small thin woman with brown hair who looks to be about the age of 22. This woman is terrified.

_Of course she is scared. A random male dressed in all black walked into her store and seemingly collapsed against the wall and is shaking. She's a mortal. And all mortals are scared of anything possibly stronger than themselves._

"Cat food."

"Uh-uhm.. I-I'm sorry. Wh-what did you ask for?"

Her fear intensifies. It is becoming stronger, adding to the scent of fear that never left my nose as I walked.

"Cat food. I need cat food."

"OH! Okay! Y-yeah."

Without asking she rushes from behind the counter and goes to one of the shelves. She goes back to the check out counter with a medium size of cat food.

"Is-is this good?"

She is frightened. She is hoping that I will take what I want and leave.

I slowly make my way to the counter, my legs shivering with every step, my thighs feel on fire. With each step I take in her direction, I can feel her trying to not step back. She herself is shaking now.

_She should be scared. She has no idea what I am capable of. Not in her worst nightmares does she even have a clue what I could do to her. All I need to do is loose my temper or feel something too intensely. I'm uncontrolled. _

I slowly reach my hand into my leather jacket pocket, she flinches. I bring my hand up and gently place seven dollars and a few quarters on the counter in front of her. The woman seems to release a large breath.

The wind slams itself against the front windows. The woman jumps as she checks out my bag of cat food. I don't flinch a bit.

"Y-you have th-three dollars ch-ch-change sir," she stumbles over her words.

I walk over to the glass-door fridges that hold multiple different drinks in them. My legs still shiver and ache but I ignore the pain. I take a large plastic bottle of water out and bring it back to the women. I place it on the counter.

Without asking she checks it out and places two quarters down next to my items.

"W-would you l-l-like a b-bag?"

I glance up at her. I am not angry, I am not frustrated, I am not threatening or frightening or harmful in my look. I try to have a very calm expression on my face. I am trying so hard to appear normal and relaxed.

Although my face feels calm, the women shivers and her eyes go wide.

_Idiot. You can't ever make someone feel comfortable. You're very presence is enough to terrify anyone. Trying to appear welcoming only scares them more._

I look down again, my hair and hood covers my face.

"Yes."

She puts the cat food and water into a plastic bag and asks if I need anything else.

_I need to be normal. I need to stop fucking up. I need to be like every regular stupid teenager. I need to not feel anymore. I need to have Bianca back. I need to be a better person. I need to not fail. I need to be smarter. I need to be softer. I need to be normal. I need to be ignorant. I need to have bliss. I need my Father to not be disappointed in me. I need everyone to stop staring at me. I need to be normal. I need to not have the ability to kill at will. I need to be normal. I need to feel normal. I need to be okay. I need to not be alone. I need to be understood. I need a friend..._

"No, thank you," is all I mumble and walk back out into the cold night with my bag.

My legs are exhausted, I know I can't spend another five hours walking back; but I am too tired to shadow travel.

Walking slowly all alone on peaceful streets does something to your mind. It's similar to thinking at three in the morning but a bit different. You pass by places where people hang out yet no one is there at that moment. You feel the environment around you is hectic yet the buildings seem to be resting through it. Your mind wanders yet is focused at the same time. Thinking of everything yet nothing.

I feel empty yet completely full.

I pass by an electronics store and look in the glass windows. There is a boy seeming to get everything ready for closing. I enter the store.

_Chink-Chink chink_

A small bell is disturbed by my entrance. I stand in the door way, not closing the door yet.

"May I help you," the boy questions while putting something into a box behind the counter.

"I'm not sure," I mumble, more to myself.

The boy stands up straight and looks at me. He is short with a darker skin shade and curly brown hair. For some reason he seems familiar.

_You can't possibly know him. And even if you did, he wouldn't want to know you._

I feel him get nervous, but I don't smell much fear from him.

"What did you say?"

I try again at seeming like a normal person. Looking up and giving my best calm expression I say, "I am not sure."

I see him shiver but he covers it up by doing a small bounce and walks around the counter, "Well, if you aren't sure what you want, I don't know how to help you."

I nod and watch him. He tries to act casual and in a good mood, but it seems he is just naturally energetic. He is young and can't be older than 14. Not that it makes much of a difference to me but it doesn't make sense how he could work in a store like this.

"I suppose..." I mumble, letting the door behind me close.

He looks at me for a moment, more curious than anything.

"Are you interested in a TV, cell phone? Maybe something you can listen to music to or a combination of things? We have a new shipment of X-box and PS3. Are you a gamer?"

I don't respond. A TV does not interest me, nor does a cell phone. I would have no use for either. I've never used any gaming device either and don't have anything to play it with.

He does a little skip and walks over to the wall of shelves and begins to poke around.

"Okay let's see. I'll pick something for you and you tell me if it seems like something you would like. We'll play a guessing game, how does that sound?"

I nod silently and watch him as he struggles to see the higher shelves. Eventually he gives up and sighs, walks behind the check out desk and brings a stepping stool back to where he was trying to reach.

"Being short is always a fun thing, am I right?"

_Why is he trying to joke with me? Am I short? Or is he mocking me... I must be short... dammit I should fix this..._

He bounces around and continues to looks at different small devices with an attitude of enjoyment. As if just looking and holding at the different devices is the greatest thing he has ever done.

"AHA! HERE IT IS!"

He jumps down and bounces over to me and pushes a small pocket-sized device with a large screen in my face.

"Okay. This may seem like an I-pod but it's not. It's one of those rip-off versions but I figured it would be better for you. It has 64 GB's for music, pictures, and a few programs that you can download. It does not text but I'm sure you can download a texting app if you want to. It is meant to play music for the most part but go ahead and download a few games. Here, I'll do it now for you to make it easier."

I watch as he turns the 'rip-off version' of the I-pod on and begins to download different games and programs although I hadn't even said I would buy it yet. He seems fully convinced that I will buy it and that it is a perfect fit.

_It does sound cool... I could use it... I don't listen to a lot of music but I could... _

"Alright. So I downloaded a texting app for you. It's kik so you can 'kik your friends'." He laughs at the joke but I don't. I won't ever use that app. For the moments that he is laughing at his own joke I look at his uniform. The plastic name tag on his chest jiggles as he laughs. I've always found the "Hello and welcome. My name is _._._._._._" name tags annoying. They are a mock welcoming. His name is Leo.

Soon Leo notices I am not laughing along and slowly his laughter dies out. He looks at me nervous for a moment then quickly resumes back to his energetic self.

"Okay. I've also downloaded YouTube, tetras, Mahjong, and a few other simple games for you. You can buy music with the I-Tunes program," He leans in a little closer to me and covers his mouth half way and squints his eyes, as if what he is about to say is very sneaky, "but I also gave you a program that you can download music for free. But that is illegal so don't let anyone see." He straightens up again and begins to show me how to navigate the device.

The touch screen seemed easy enough to understand. I found myself interested in the device, I wanted to take it and go. He explained to me how to download different apps and programs and how to use the free music down loader and a few other things.

"So, this is about fifty dollars."

I stare at him blankly.

_Fifty Dollars?! I didn't come with that much money. I shouldn't have even walked into this store. It was stupid, stupid, stupid. Now I want this damn thing. It's completely unneeded and I'll be fine without it but It seems so cool. Why did I have to be curious and walk in here. _

"Hey... If you don't have that much I'll give it to you for a little less, or you can just pay me back in school."

_'Pay me back in school.' School? I know him from school, that's right! He is in my business class. He goes to my school. No, no, no, no. He knows who I am. He knows what I've done. He knows I'm a freak. _

I look down at my shoes. _I'm such an idiot._

"Hey, you alright? Nico?"

_He knows my name. He knows me from school. There is no way this wont go around. I feel so embarrassed. _

"H-here..."

I flinch when I feel his hand at the edge of my jacket pocket as he slips in the 'rip-off I-pod' into my pocket.

"Just take it. It's alright. Stay here and I'll get the charger for it."

Leo bounces behind the desk and takes two little plastic bags out from behind it. He then comes back over and holds them out to me.

"The charger stretches up to three feet so you can lay in your bed comfortably as it charges. And I'm giving you a pair of headphone too."

He stands there for a moment, awkwardly holding out the little plastic bags to me.

_Why is he giving me these? I don't have money to pay for them and he knows that. He's trying to make things worse for me. He'll give me these things and then accuse me of stealing and everyone will talk more about me and have even more reasons. The fucken mortal police will get involved and I'd have created another mess that one of Father's workers will have to clean up. But he looks genuine... If he's... Pity. He's pitying me. How pathetic. Disgusting. He is pitying me. That is repulsive. I'm a disappointment. To be pitied, that is disgraceful. I'm such a-  
_

My thoughts are interrupted by him gently placing the small plastic bags into my jacket pocket. I stand completely still. He seems to awkwardly lean from foot to foot for a few moments, I feel him becoming more nervous the longer we are silent. He is uncomfortable by me.

_He should be._

"Soooo... Do you have a way of getting home? You can't be walking out in that."

I turn and look out the big glass windows behind me, up until now I had been oblivious to the weather.

_I need to pay attention more..._

A garbage can is carried down the street then falls and is sent back the way it came with a vengeance, as if the wind is fighting over which direction to blow. The sky can not be seen through the thick layer of dark clouds that loom over. A chill slithers in through any possible tiny opening of the windows and creates a cold throughout the small shop.

"Do you have a ride?"

I look at my shoes and shake my head, 'no'. Once again he seems to shuffle uncomfortably.

"Well, I've got a truck in the back and I can drive you home."

_He can't be older than 15. He can't drive. It's illegal for him to have a driver's license. He's bluffing. _

I glare at him, annoyed.

"Hey, hey, hey," Leo say, bringing his hands up defensively, " I know what you're thinking. But it's okay. Old Festus has yet to fail me, he can handle the weather. I'm a very good driver."

I slowly turn and look out the window again.

"It's not a problem if your house isn't near by. My dad doesn't particularly care when I get home, " _Daddy issues? Same. ,"_So how ever long it takes doesn't matter."

"No." I mumble and walk out into the violent wind and begin to walk down the street. It's colder than I thought it was.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid. How could I even put myself in this situation. I need to be smarter than this. I should never have walked into the damn store. I should have walked back out the moment Leo saw me. I should have been smarter. I'm so stupid. I keep fucking up. He pitied me and gave me things out of repulsive pity. I'm a disgrace. _

I had forgotten just how badly my legs were feeling. Each leg feels like cement as I slowly take each step, throbbing from the new strain.

_I'm so stupid. I need to be better. I need to be smarter. I need to stop fucking up. I should not have walked this far. I should have shadow traveled to a store. I shouldn't have walked so much. I shouldn't have gone into that store. I can't tell anyone about this. Who would I even tell anyways? So stupid. I should..._

"...hhheeeyyy..."

_I need to stop fucking up. I need to try harder. I need to get control of myself and stop being so rash. I should be better. Why can't I just be better? Why can't I be normal? Why can't..._

"...HHeeeeyyy..."

_I need to get control of myself. I need to get control of my abilities. I need to try harder. I need to be stronger. I need to be better. I can't lose my self control and lash out just being I've gotten mad. I need to be calmer. I need to get myself under control. I need..._

"HHHHEEEEEEYYYYYY!"

I whip around and see a large bronze pick-up truck driving towards me with Leo hanging half way out the window waving to me. The curls on his head being vigorously braided by the wind. He slows down and pulls up beside me. Leo leans over in his truck and opens the passenger side door to me.

"I'm not taking no for an answer. Get in."

* * *

**Hey guys :D Thanks so much for reading my fanfiction. Special shout-out to a fan whose friend has created fan art for the story :D You're awesome. Just saying. I love fan art guys, if you have some, send me a link and I'll share it 3 . Leave me some reviews, :D tell me what you think and if you have any ideas for this ^_^ I love feedback. **

**Hope you all have a good rest of the day or if you are reading this at ungodly hours - heh heh heh...pun... - of the night then GO TO SLEEP!**

**^_^ Hope to have the next chapter up soon.**

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	8. Chapter 8

Leo's truck is warm and comfy. The seats are soft and feel like you sink in. The inside of the truck looks small from the outside but on the inside it feels large and spacious. The seat belts are normal but I don't use mine and Leo doesn't bother with his either. Of all the cool things about Leo's truck, none can compare to the controls. The whole front dash board has multiple different controls, two small screens, multiple knobs and buttons. They all glow a bright neon green. The stereo system in the middle is upgraded to the best and looks like it came out of a five star limousine.

_How does he even know how to drive, especially something like this?!_

"Wanna listen to some music," Leo questions absentmindedly as he drives down the street.

I stay silent. The truck isn't shaken at all by the winds even though everything around the truck is whipped about.

Leo presses a few buttons and the radio turns on. Music bursts out from all around the car, clear sound with the bass increased.

_"We all wanna BE SSSSSSooooommmmmeeeBBBBBBBooooddddyyy, we just NEED a TASTE of whooo, weeeee AAARRREEE! We all wanna BE SSSSSSooooommmmmeeeBBBBBBBooooddddyyy, we're willing to GO but nooooot TTTThhhaattt FAR!"_

Leo sings along to the song that comes on. I sit silently and listen as he taps his steering wheel along with the beat.

_"I'm just a boy inside the man, not exactly who you think I am~"_

He continues to sing and drive as we go down the road at 70 miles per hour. I don't comment on how fast he is driving. Soon another song comes on.

_"So SCREAM if you wanna, SHOUT if you need, just let it ggoooooooooo! Take it out on mmmeeeeee! FIGHT if you need to, SMASH if it helps you! Get con-TTTRRRROOOOOOOOoooooooolllll~!"_

"Leo."

"HM?"

"Who sings these songs."

Leo chuckles at me, "Thousand Foot Krutch. This is a mix playlist I created of their songs. I'm sure you can download them with the app I gave you."

_He freely gave me an expensive music player... right... _

I choose to stay silent for the rest of the ride and simply listen to the music playing instead of saying something I know will be stupid. Leo sings along to the songs he knows by heart and hums to the others.

_"I'm a monster if that means I'm misunderstood, Cause its alive and I can't hide it. The energy is rising~"_

_Misunderstood... monster... and I can't hide it... the energy is rising..._

"So when am I turning Nico? You never gave me all the directions."

_Shit, shit, shit. What should I tell him?! I shouldn't have gotten into his truck. Now he's going to find out where I live, that can happen. That would be horribly wrong. So stupid. Why am I always fucking UP! _

"...Hey, Nico... It's okay? I'll just... uhm... Keep going this way and... you can tell me as I go..."

His voice barely enters my mind as my thoughts rage. My body feels like it is bubbling lava. I glare at my open hands in my lap, staring at the hands that are mine. Staring at the hands that have killed. Staring at the hands that constantly ruin things. Staring at the hands that are disturbed, and uncontrollable. Staring. Staring at MY hands. MY hands that ruin everything. MY hands that destroy. MY hands that kill. MY hands that can't be controlled. MY hands that killed Bianca...

* * *

_"Okay Nico. You see that tree I'm pointing to? I want you to decay the leaves, the leaves only," Bianca says to me. _

_"I don't think I can Bianca... I'll decay the whole tree and the few surrounding ones," I mumble to Bianca, ashamed and nervous. _

_She smiles and a soft breeze plays with her hair. "Nico, I know you can do this. You just have to direct it. Focus on the leaves and only the leaves. PRetend that the rest of the tree isn't even there. Just focus on the leaves and make them decay. Try now." _

_I look up at her confident encouraging smile. I love it when she smiles. _

_"Ooooookkaaaaaayyyyy..." _

_I turn and look at the small oak tree. It's large in size but compared to the other trees around it is smaller. A squirrel jumps from branch to branch on the tree. _

_I put my hand out and close my eyes, focusing on the leaves. I cant them as my own. I want to claim them. They belong to me and where I come from. The leaves are mine. _

_I open my eyes and see that all the leaves on the tree have fallen to the ground in specks of dust. A few branch tips have also begun to decay. The squirrel freezes on it's current branch. _

_"See? I told you, you can do it." _

_"Yeah but... I got some of the branches..." _

_"That's okay Nico, you only got a few of them. But look! All the leaves that were on that tree are gone! You did it!"  
_

_I turn and grin at her. Bianca laughs and I feel so proud. To see her happy, because I did something good. I actually did it. She grins at me. _

_"Okay, now lets try more. I want you to focus on that tree but I want you to get the bird's nest in the tree." _

_"But... what if their are birds in it... Bianca, I don't want to kill them." _

_She smiles warmly at me, "I already checked the nest Nico. It's been long abandoned." _

_"Okay..." _

_I turn to the new tree she is pointing at and focus on the bird's nest. Just the bird's nest. I close my eyes and imagine the little twigs decaying and smoldering into nothing. When I open my eyes again, the tree is okay, the leaves are okay, the only thing different is that there is no longer a bird's nest. _

_"I did it..." _

_"I told you you could Nico. You can do lots of things. You are powerful." _

_"I didn't get it all the other times though..."_

_"Nico, you're not going to be perfect on your first try. That is why we've spent more than one time practicing and training. It doesn't matter if this was your 20th time or if it is your 50th time trying, you did it. You got it." _

_Bianca always believed in me. We've been practicing since the beginning of spring, it's not the end of summer and school will be starting next week. We've practiced every other day all this time and I've finally done it. _

_"I'm going to teach you something new now. Okay?" _

_I nod. _

_"Alright. This is more complicated but I know you can do it. First, I want you to stand up straight and tall. Yes that's it. Okay. Now bring your arms out at your sides, palms facing out as if you are about to grab something. Perfect. Close your eyes. Try focusing on the air around you, the environment. Everything around you is living. And that is a beautiful thing. But everything dies. This is also beautiful. It's a cycle. Birth and death. It's a never ending, constant beautiful cycle. And it is okay. It is not evil, it is not good, it just is. And we have the ability to manipulate such things. We come from the underworld, we can be the door between the life and the death, the gateway. We can control and allow both to pass through us. You Nico, have this ability stronger than me. You are a better doorway than me. Whether you know it or not. You are a door between the living and the dead, of all souls, and energy. Everything. I know you will be able to do this, far better than me. Are you ready to try?" _

_I keep my eyes closed and focused. I'm ready. I nod. _

_"Okay," Bianca says gently, "You're going to be good at this, I know it. Feel the life around you. Feel the life around you, feel the death inside every life. No, don't get nervous. I know it's a lot to feel but you can do this. Feel the death in all the living that surrounds you. Now take the living in it, and allow it to grow, allow it to grow more and the death become smaller. Focus Nico. I know you can do this. You'll be good at this. I can feel it. You can do this. Nico you-" _

**_Darkness..._**

* * *

_"__Funny how in just one moment, things can turn upside down. Wish I could turn back time to when you were still around."_

The women sings peacefully accompanied by a piano. Her voice carries me back to the memories once again. The memories of what happened. The memories of my childhood. The memories of how Bianca and I cared for each other. The memories of her face.

_"__And all I got left is memories, of your face smiling at me." _

For once my mind is clear, my mind is blank. I think no thoughts. All that occupies my mind are the memories. Repeating. The memories of what I did.

_"__Destroyed every hope we once had. Nothing we can do now that you're gone. No way to bring you back."  
_

Everything had gone black. It was like a soundless explosion of darkness. I had fallen to the ground. Ground, dirt, mud, not grass. My knees had trembled and I held my head in pain, my eyes squeezed shut. There was no sound, there was no wind, there was no feeling. There was nothing. I had called to Bianca, my voice cracking. But there hadn't been a reply.

"_Took us all by surprise. No, we never saw this coming." _

I had groaned and called out for her again. And still no reply. When I opened my eyes at last, I wished I hadn't. Nothing was the same. Nothing resembled the location I had once been. For a moment I thought that I was dreaming. Then I hoped that I had shadow-traveled, and that I would somehow figure out how to go back to Bianca. She would know what I did and be so proud. But at the time shadow travel was only a concept to me, not a possibility. I soon wished it was a dream. I wished I had shadow traveled.

_"With no warning sign. One day..."_

I lunged forward at what had been in front of me. Nothing else had mattered. It had not mattered that there wasn't a tree for miles. It had not mattered that the ground was dirt and mud. It had not mattered that there had been no wind blowing even though before there had been a soft breeze. It had not mattered that no animal was to be found. It had not mattered that there were patches of fire burning in the dirt. It had not mattered that eve though it was midday, there was a darkness around like a fog. None of that had mattered. The only thing that mattered was what I saw in front of me, lying on the ground.

_"__Remember everything that you said?"_

Bianca had told me so much. She had helped me so much. And she was right. I was good at that. I was too good. I was incredible. I was **_dangerously_** good. _**Dangerously powerful.** _

_"__Things can be so unfair. You were taken away before your time."_

A skeleton was crumpled up on the ground, at least what was left of one. The bone was pure black and looked as though it was rusted. Chucks had been shattered or cracked in the bone. The bones were dry, as if they had been left out in the desert for days. Not all the bones were there either, were they would have been, there was a grey-black powder.

_"Took us all by_ surprise..."

I reached a shaky hand out to caress the cracked burned skull. By my slightest touch, it had crumbled into dust.

_"Always were...always will be...our hero..."_

"Hey Nico... are you alright? We've been driving for more then an hour. I'm sure we're close to you're house now. You said you lived in the city, right?"

I look up and out the window. There are no cars around. There are no people and no lights on. By driving, in less than ten minutes we will enter Father's domain.

"Here. Drop me off here."

Leo smoothly pulls over to the side on the road so I will step out onto the side walk.

"You sure? It doesn't look like anything's alive around here."

_If only you knew._

"Yeah. I live right near here. I'll walk the rest of the way, " I say, opening the door, grabbing my bag of cat food, and jump out.

"Okay... I'll see you around I guess."

I get out and shut the door and begin to walk towards hell on earth. Leo waits in his car for a short bit then I hear him drive off.

As I walk deeper in, towards Father's house, I notice that still no creatures are about. No souls wandering. Not a thing that should be. The pomegranate trees seem to have no life in them either, even though they still produce damned fruit. The stones, gems, and crystals on and in the ground seem to have a much duller shine than usual. The cracks leading down to the underworld seem to be deeper and wider though. I have to jump over some. I smell fear everywhere though. I realize that the scent of fear never left my nose my whole trip, I just got used to it. Now that I'm focusing on it again, I try to locate it once more.

I continue to walk towards the house, I can see it a couple hundred feet away. I can't find the source to the smell because it is strong all around me. The scent is everywhere and stronger than any fear I've ever smelled. I go over in my head what it could be, trying to pin point it still.

I walk silently into the house. It is all quiet inside also. I shut the door behind me and freeze.

_It's me. _

* * *

**Hey everyone. I know this chapter is a bit short but SO MUCH happened in the chapter that I just HAD to end it. You can only process so much at one time. I must admit something though, while writing this chapter I almost cried at some parts. I put myself in Nico's shoes (which is the whole point of me writing in first person -.-) and imagined just how he must have been feeling, what his eleven/twelve year old self would have been thinking and done. I got very emotional, and the fact that I was listening to the songs I put into this chapter just made everything more intense. UUUUUHHHHHGGGG I did not enjoy writing what happened to Bianca. :'( But, the story must continue. **

**So tell me what you thought. Leave me a review PPPPPPAAAAAAHHHHHLLLLLAAAAAYYYYZZZZZZAAAAHHHHH!**

**Thanks for sticking with my story for so long ^_^ 3 **

**For those who would like to know, the songs that were in this chapter are as follow:**

**Thousand Foot Krutch- Be Somebody**

**Thousand Foot Krutch- The End is Where We Begin**

**Earlyrise- Memories **


	9. Chapter 9

**_I first want to apologize to everyone for not updating in such a long time... I had many things going on in my personal life and was in the hospital for a time... But I am back and I will work on this story and try to update when I can. 3  
Second, please give me some ideas. What is something you want to see, any questions?, any ideas at all? Any thoughts or inspirations or songs? I would really appreciate it.  
I hope you are enjoying my story. _  
**

* * *

"Nico, Have you decided on what physical education class you want to take?"

I glance up at Jason and quickly look down, ashamed.

_Focus! Don't look at his face. Don't get distracted. Stop being so immature! He asked you a question. I didn't... I never looked up the other classes... I'm so stupid. He's either going to keep me in this class with all the other boys or I'll be put in another class. I keep doing this to myself..._

I silently shake my head ad analyze my boots.

He sighs, " I thought you might not have. It's alright. I placed you in swim. Is that a better class?"

_Swim... a class of guys swimming... Yes, that is the perfect class. Jason you are incredibly smart. _

"Nico?"

I don't respond. I don't move.

_If I take that class then what if somebody finds out? What will I do... I can't say no. If I say no, he could know. He could assume. Jason isn't stupid. He's going to know. He can't know. No one can know. I need to try. I'll learn to control myself. This is a test. That's what it is. A test to see if I can control myself. I need to do this. I can't say no._

"Is that a no?"

"Sure," I mumble.

"What did you say," he asks me.

_Speak louder dumb ass._

"I'll take the class."

Jason marks something down on his clip board. I ignore all the guys jogging around the gym as a warm up. I ignore my raging thoughts. I ignore how strong my urge is to look at him instead of my shoes. I must try to contain myself, control myself.

"Alright. You'll probably get a new schedule in your first class tomorrow. For the rest of class you can either participate with us or or sit on the bleachers."

I nod and slowly make my way over to the bleachers. I can feel his eyes following me.

_Why do I always have to do this. Why can't I just control myself. I will learn to fix this. I will fix myself. I will be better. _

I take my pocket sketch book out of my inside jacket pocket. I left my books in the boy's locker room the doors wont be unlocked again until class is over.

Opening to the next clean page, I begin to sketch. I draw light base lines. Then I give it shape. Just simple sketching. Next comes the darker lines and mild detail, making the image clearer. I continue to draw, becoming lost in my thoughts and the picture. The rest of the world around me becomes a blur. I become oblivious to the world around me. The only thing important in this moment is my drawing.

It feels like no time has passed when I notice the the boys heading into the locker room. I close my sketch book and slip it into my pocket then jump down to the floor. I try to stop myself from glancing at Jason, talking to our gym teacher. In such a quick glance our eyes lock and I feel my face heat up.

_No, no, no, No, No, NO, NO! WHY CAN'T I KEEP CONTROL! STOP LOOKING! STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM LIKE THAT! STOP FEELING THAT! I'M SO DISGUSTING! IT'S REPULSIVE! Oh... no..._

I freeze the moment I walk into the locker room. I had forgotten to wait. The last classes I've had I've waited until everyone is in the gym before I go into the locker room and change and then I had stalled until I was sure everyone was finished changing. But as I see everything in front of me, I realize I had forgotten to do that.

They're everywhere. Only a few of them are fully clothed. I see all their chests, able to compare. I see their muscles. I see more...

_NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! MOVE! STOP STARING! THEY'LL NOTICE! WALK! _

My head snaps down and I shuffle forwards. I refuse to look at anything but the floor in front of me. I ignore the sights out of the corner of my eye. I continue to walk through the room, past all the guys changing.

_If I were normal this wouldn't happen. If I were normal I wouldn't feel this way. If I were normal I could belong. _

_SMACK_

"Hey!"

I back up slowly, trying to focus again. The moment I look up, I know my face has gone red and I regret it. I recognize his face from some of the times I saw him walking with Luke. I was not prepared to notice the rest of him. Tall, muscular, muscles. Wearing only briefs that I could not help but notice more than I should have.

I froze.

"Watch where you are going next time," he snapped at me.

_no.. no no no no... Stop... Snap out of it... You're disgusting. Look away. Move. do something!_

"Do you have a problem faggot," he growled at me.

_He... he did not... he did not... does he.. does he know?.. no... he cant... no.. please... no... what is WRONG WITH ME?!_ _Control yourself. Control yourself. Control yourself. I CAN'T! _

I feel stares on me as the room seems to go silent. I stare at my feet, disgusted, ashamed, and shocked.

"What the hell are you still standing there for, move it," he orders me and slams me into a locker then walks by.

Everyone is quiet. They're waiting for me to snap, to do something, to freak out... I rush out of the locker room as fast as I can, avoiding everyone I can.

Mr. Harris does not bother me today in Algebra. I silently draw in my sketch book, trying to ignore the thoughts screaming inside me.

_YOU'RE DISGUSTING! YOU COULDN'T SIMPLY WALK AROUND HIM! YOU HAD TO FREEZE IN SHOCK! YOU HAD TO STARE FOR A MOMENT! YOU HAD TO FUCK UP AND GET EVERYONE'S ATTENTION! SOMEONE WILL FIND OUT! YOU HAD TO MAKE THINGS WORSE! CAN YOU EVER DO ANYTHING RIGHT! HE'S JUST A BOY, THAT IS IT! YOU'RE A BOY! YOU SHOULDN'T THINK OR FEELS THESE THINGS! WHY DID YOU DO THAT! WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO DISGUSTING! YOU'RE A FREAK! A FREAK IN MORE WAYS THAN ANYONE CAN COUNT! YOU'RE A FAGGOT!_

* * *

"Nico... Please come to lunch?"

Hazel and I stand in the hallway outside the busy lunch room.

"And sit with you and your witchy friends?"

I say it quietly. I don't want to hurt her... not again...

Hazel frowns. She knows what I'm truly worried about.

"They won't cast any magic on you Nico. Rodrick feels horrible about it and Lou hasn't been in school since that day. I promise it wont happen again."

I look at her face. She seems almost desperate. An image of her face flashes in my mind, her face crumbling in hurt, because of my words.

"Okay..."

We walk into the cafeteria together and she leads the way to the farther back table where a group of goth, emo, punk, and scene students sit. I see Rodrick look up with curiosity in his eyes, then a small amount of fear. We walk past Clarisse's table with some other girls and they whisper something then laugh as we walk by. Hazel keeps walking, her head held high and confidently. I know she's not truly feeling that confident, but she wont let them see her weaknesses. As we walk by a table of joking boys, I make SURE I keep my eyes forward, following Hazel, counting each curl that bounces.

_Don't look. Don't look. Do. Not. Look. ... one... two... three... three?... no... four... I can feel them... Four sets of eyes following me. They're looking at me... no, no, no, no... Just ignore me... Let me fade into the background... I'm not important... stop watching me... you're making this harder..._

"Hi Hazel. H-hi Nico."

I sit down next to Hazel and across from Rodrick. He's nervous about me being here, but doesn't want to be rude. I can tell. He wants to pretend everything is normal. But things will never be normal, at least not for me...

"How's geometry Rodrick?"

Hazel inquires, trying to make conversation. They then get into a very detailed conversation about algebra and geometry, soon leading to the differences between freshman year and sophomore year.

_Please... something... something good happen to me today... please... _

I don't expect a response. I have never prayed before either... Taking the i-pod Leo gave me, I put my ear buds in. Music blasts into my ears. The voices around me are drowned out, the noise and the gossip and the whispers, the laughs. It is all drowned out. I take my sketch book out and begin a new drawing. The faces around me become blurs, the time becomes nothing, I am safe in my own world. I know what to expect. I am alone. But that is okay. No one can hurt me in this world.

_Anger and agony_  
_ Are better than misery_  
_ Trust me I've got a plan_  
_ When the lights go off you'll understand_

Pain, without love  
Pain, can't get enough  
Pain, I like it rough  
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

Someone places their hand on my shoulder, I rip my earphones out and swerve to them.

"What?!"

"It's... lunch is... over Nico."

Hazel's eye hold fear, her whole body tense. Rodrick stands behind her. The cafeteria is almost completely empty, only a few people here and there lingering.

"..."

I get up and begin to follow Hazel and Rodrick out of the room, stuffing my sketch book and earphones into my pocket.

"Oops."

SMACK!

My face collides with another thing today, this time the floor.

"You really need to learn to watch where you walk faggot," the same guy from in the locker room comments to me as he walks out. Hazel tries to help me up but I gently push her away.

"I'm Fine..." I mumble, getting up on my own. I don't say that he tripped me, I don't say who he is to me, I don't say a thing besides that. Hazel and Rodrick watch me nervously as we continue to walk out.

"Hey! Wait!"

_Damn it... what the fuck else..._

Someone jogs up to us. "Hey, you okay Nico?"

My eyes widen. I know that voice. It's Percy.

I don't respond. Hazel glances at me but I look at the floor.

"He's... He'll be alright..." She replies politely, but hesitantly.

"Are you sure? Don't let them get to you Nico. Ignore what they say. You're not a faggot."

_He's... He's comforting me?... He cares?..._

The feeling is new. I don't know how to respond. I slowly turn around and shyly look at him. His smile is sincere concern, caring, and worry. His body language says he wants to hug me, but I can't do that... He doesn't try to, which I am grateful for.

"You're not the only one they've toyed with. Honestly, I think they are just jealous. They're probably gay themselves, but are too cowardly to admit it. So they try to cover it up by targeting others," Percy says with a grin.

_Does... does he know? no... no he can't know... no... Hes just... Joking... Being friendly... nice... Trying to help me... trying to.. help me?.. but why... he has sympathy for me... does... does he think I'm gay? or... or was he just... he had to be joking.. that's it..._

I nod.

"Well, I've got to get to class. I'll catch ya later Nico. See ya guys," Percy's grin is sincere as he nods to us and walks out of the cafeteria. Hazel and Rodrick stare at me. I try to ignore there confused and stunned stares and walk out for class.

* * *

"You've got some awesome bands. Thousand Foot Cruntch, Flyleaf, Evenecense, Disturbed. Sweet," Leo commented while going through my artists. I had not had the chance to download all the songs I wanted yet, only a few. It felt strange but nice that Leo appreciated the music I listened to.

Business class went by relatively quick, most of it with Leo talking to me about different bands and me shaking or nodding my head if I liked them and listened to them. I tried not to think about what had happened earlier today, with Luke's friend and with Percy. Both of those events kept trying to grab hold of me, and no matter how many times I ignored them or pushed them away, they always came back. I couldn't stop feeling embarrassed and humiliated by my (once again) fuck up, I couldn't stop panicking about if Percy knew that I was... or if he was just joking around and being nice. Then I was curious about why he had treated me that way, and how was I supposed to respond? What if he tried to joke with me and be nice to me again. Should I smile?

"Dude, you okay? You look like you're going to vomit."

I looked down at the papers I was supposed to be reading and highlighting so Leo wouldn't see my (another) failure trying to smile. If Leo thought my smile looked like I was going to vomit, then Percy would...

**_Stop. Stop it. Don't even worry about what Percy would think of your smile. Don't wonder about what he would think of your face, of you. He wouldn't think of you. He doesn't think of you. Stop it. You're only going to screw something up against and humiliate yourself and hate yourself more. Stop it. Control yourself!_**

_You can't deny who you are though... that's part of you... you can't deny what you feel... or what you think...you know that deep down... you are who you are, what you are... and no matter how hard you try you can't change it...  
_

**_NO! I am not! I will change! I will be better! I will stop fucking up! I will stop being disgusting! I will stop it! I will get control of myself! I will not be what I am! I will change!_**

_But you are who you are... you're... gay...  
_

The battle inside myself raged like fire and darkness. One screaming and painful and loud, the other quiet, subtle, and still painful. Pain either way. I couldn't think. I couldn't calm down. I felt myself becoming more and more agitated. I knew I would begin to change soon... I had to leave.

Shoving my books and papers into my bag, I got up and walked out. I ignored Mrs. Taylor's protests and questions, if she wanted to live and wanted everyone else in that room to live, she would stay in her classroom.

I rushed down the hall, down the stairs, barely thinking about where I was going. All I could see was the hallways. All I could hear was the inner screaming. All I could think was the inner battle. Everything raging chaos that I had to get control of or-

"Hey! Nico! What are you doing?"

_No. no no no no. Could this get any worse. _

I slowly turned around to see Percy rushing up the hall towards me, a friendly grin on his face. He caught up to me, panting a little.

"Hey, how are you?"

I didn't say anything. I didn't look up. Although we we're both silent for a moment -him waiting for an answer he would never get to from that question, and me not knowing how to respond- it was not awkward. It was just silence.

"So..." Percy chimed in after a few moments, " Jason told me that you're having your gym class switched. To swim, right? I lead some of the swim classes. I'm a certified life guard, so the school allows me to be lead and supervise the swim classes when I have a study hall. Maybe I'll be able to lead your swim class. That would be cool, huh?"

_Percy... swim... life guard... swim shorts... me... swimming... swim shorts... other guys... swim... Percy... speedos... swim... half naked... everyone... swim... why am I so stupid... wait... he's trying to be nice! he's waiting for me to say something! try to be nice! say something! respond! _

"uhm... yeah..."

_Stupid._

But that seems enough. "Yeah, so where are you going anyways? School isn't over for another thirty minutes."

"I was... leaving early..." I mumble.

"Mind if I walk you out," he questions, his voice light.

I shake my head. Although I have no idea what to say or what to do. Percy continues to smile friendly and begins to walk down the hall with me.

"Have you ever taken any swim classes before?"

I nod my head. He can't know anything more. I have to be normal.

"What's your best stroke?"

_SHIT!_

I shrug.

"That's okay. So far all we've done in the classes is learn the different strokes and do laps. If you enjoy swimming and are good at it, I'll put you on the swim team!"

_No.. oh no... stop.. stop being nice... stop trying... go away... you're making this all so much worse... just go.. leave me alone... why don't you just leave me alone._

"No? Not a good idea?"

I hadn't realized I was slightly shaking my head, but he noticed such a small movement makes me nervous. The fact that he is paying attention to me, focusing on me so much, that he noticed something that insignificant... I blush.

Percy chuckles as we near the front doors of the school, "Ha, that's alright. Don't worry about it. It was just an idea."

I nod and stand by the doors, not sure of what to do now.

_Do I say goodbye? Do I smile? Do I shake his hand? Do I hug him? NO! DON'T HUG HIM! Then what do I do? He's waiting!_

"Uh... thanks..." I say as I slowly lift my arm up and hold my hand out. Percy stares for a moment then seems to hide laughter. He takes my hand and shakes it.

"No problem. Be safe walking home."

I nod again and walk out the doors, I hear his laugh through the glass doors once I am outside.

_He's laughing at you. You're so stupid. Shaking his hand?! What the hell was that supposed to do. You keep fucking up. You can't be normal. Even when you try. You're a freak, and you're always going to be a freak. _

I walk into the woods and wait for Hazel.


	10. Chapter 10

**Thank you to those who are still reading my story. :) Please give me feedback though, I ****_FEED_**** off of your feedback. **

**I DO NOT OWN THE BOOK THE BOOK THIEF. I QUOTE SOME LINES FROM THE BOOK IN THIS CHAPTER. I DO NOT CLAIM TO OWN THEM, I DO NOT OWN THEM AT ALL. **

* * *

Hazel doesn't say anything as she walks into the woods and meets me sitting on the fallen tree where I always shadow travel us. She simply stares at me with a blank express, although can read it. She is curious, she is worried, she has questions, but she knows better than to ask.

"Ready," I question as I stand up. She nods and takes my arm. I take a step deeper into the shadows and my foot lands outside the steps leading up to our father's mortal-world mansion. Furries, hell hounds, fallen angels, demons, and other creatures of the underworld roam around. We silently walk up the steps, although there is an obvious tension between us.

"Nico?"

I stop on the third step up the stairs.

"You know... you can... talk to the others. They're nice... They wont... do it again... you can trust them."

_Trust them!? You have got to be joking Hazel. I cant trust anyone! You of all people know that. I ESPECIALLY can't trust them. I was doing just fine at this school and then that fucken witch bitch had to make me out to look worse than everyone already thought of me. I was stupid enough to trust her. I ate the fucken brownie. I can't trust them.  
_

"No."

I look into Hazel's eyes. She's hurt. She's trying hard right now.

"She-" _avoidance to say the bitch's name_, "-hasn't even... been to school since then... It's been a few weeks Nico... it's been awhile... you... you can have friends..."

_Friends?... _

"They're... they're actually nice Nico..."

_... _

"Hazel..."

Hazel looks up at me so hopeful. I can see it all in her eyes. She cares so much and shes trying. She's concerned and wants to help, wants to be close to me, wants to be there for me. But no one can. I don't want to be hurt. I don't want to hurt anyone I care about...

"I need to go," I say walking down the stairs past her.

"Wait-"

I turn as she grabs my arm, holding me back from walking out the door.

"Nico..."

_Look...look at her... you did this. She's going to cry. You've hurt her again. You keep hurting those you care for. Why do you have to be so stupid. Why do you have to only cause pain. Why can't you be better, have more control, be normal. _

"Will... will you be coming home later?"

Hazel's voice is so soft, so gentle, but her energy has fear. I can smell it. Yet there is more. There is also compassion. A compassion I don't know how to respond to... I've smelled it before, I've felt it before... All recently.

It makes me uncomfortable.

I nod and walk down the front steps, and slip into the shadows.

* * *

Everything is quiet. There are no birds around here. There are no rabbits, or snakes, or bird's singing. There are no butterflies fluttering about. There are no bees looking for flowers. There are no flowers to be found. This woods is thin here. The farther you go into the woods the less trees you find, the less green the grass looks, and the more dirt you see.

I walk through this abandoned place. No one has come here for years, no one would want to. Death energy in everywhere. A mortal wouldn't know what it is, but even they would feel a darkness, a quiet uneasy sense of nothingness. Death energy is such a strong feeling, everything dies, everything knows what death is and fears it. No one wants to die. Except for death itself...

I reach the edge of the few trees. No grass is to be seen. The ground is pure sandy dirt.

_Still no grass has grown back..._

I step forwards, breathing in. It all feels like I was here yesterday...

The farther I walk the stronger the death energy feels. I keep walking. Walking to the center.

At the center there is an inprint. The distant image of a body laying in the dirt. A silent memory of who was last here.

_This is it... this is where you killed her... _

A small dark green stone rests where she lasts was... A stone I placed there the last time I came to visit her.

"Hi Bianca..."

No response.

_Well what did you expect? Bianca to pop out of the stone and hug you? Dumb ass.._

"I miss you..."

Still no response.

"I'm sorry I havn't visited you in a while... I feel strange talking to you when you're not even here... you never come when I summon your spirit... I don't know if I'm doing it wrong or if you're just avoiding me or if... if I took the life out of your spirit too..."

_Silence... there's only ever silence... What if you did take the life out of her soul too?... It's possible if you're strong enough... She wouldn't be able to be summoned, she wouldn't be able to reincarnate, she wouldnt be able to be a spirit... She would be nothing too..._

"Things have been... getting harder... I'm more confused than I've ever been... Hazel has been trying her hardest to be there for me and get me to open up to her but... she's not you..."

_But Hazel is alive. Hazel can hug you. Hazel can talk to you, listen to you, and respond back to you. You don't open up and talk to anyone, except for someone who isn't even there to listen or respond back to you. Because that makes sense..._

"The new school I'm at has other demigods there... You would have enjoyed it... I remember you always wanted to meet others like you and feel as though you belonged... you would have found that here...

I've been having more trouble controlling myself... it seems that every day I'm tested on my control... and I can't... I can't control myself Bianca... I'm so confused..." it becomes harder to speak, but I continue to talk to the stone, as if Bianca is listening right inside. "I've been sensing different energies and feelings from people... I've been feeling different lately... I don't know what it is... It's warm and fuzzy, other times it calming and light... sometimes its fiery and makes me feel sick to my stomach... It's all so new and strange...And I keep hurting others..."

I feel myself easing down onto the ground, crouching next to the stone. My voice sounds shaky and distant and it's hard to speak. I keep talking. "I keep hurting them even when I try not too... I've hurt myself more too... I know you would never want me to do that but... you've got to understand, right?... It helps me... sometimes... other times I feel I deserve it... Just look at what I've done to you!" Once again I've lost control of myself and it feels as though everything is flooding out. "I killed you! I killed you Bianca! And I could have done worse! Your soul! We should have never come out here! I should have never tried to learn my abilities! You'd still be alive then! Bianca it's all my fault! It's all my fault! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!..."

I hear the sobs, such strong deep sob of pain. Someone is crying. There is a warmth around me although I am freezing.

It's me... I stop and look around me. There is no one else here. I'm the one crying. I'm the one holding myself. I look up at the sky, it's late at night. Everything is cold from the strong wind.

_Did I fall asleep?..._

I stand up and dust off my clothes. Dried tears stain my cheeks. I havn't cried in years...

_What is happening to me... Everything is changing so quickly. How am I suppose to keep up?_

I walk back to the trees and shadow travel home.

* * *

"I have hated the words and I have loved them, and I hope I have made them right... Outside, the wind whistled. The rain was stained," I read out loud to Mr. Chiron's English class. We closed the book and waited for Mr. Chiron but he didn't move. He sat behind his death, staring down at his copy of _The Book Thief. _

"Uhm... Mr. Chiron? Nico finished reading," Rachel spoke from her seat in the front of the room, raising her hand.

It had been about two months since Hazel and I started at this school. Most people still stayed away from me, whispered about me, and all the usual... It's not that I wasn't used to it or that it was anything unusual. I was always the outcast at every school I went, I would never fit in, I was a... It just felt different now... It bothered me...

_Stop. Stop these thoughts right now. You know you will never be accepted. You're exactly all the things everyone says. You deserve what they say and do. You know it's true. _

"Ah, yes Rachel. Thank you Nico for reading. I felt it only fit for you to finish the book for us since you had started it," Chiron said as he closed his book and picked up a stack of packets from his desk, "This packet is of questions about the book. Write what you feel, your opinions. There is no wrong answer. And no answer is still an answer." He said this last part while staring at me with an unreadable expression. He then rolled himself to each front desk, giving the first person in the row the proper number of packets from his lap then rolling to the next person.

1) What is the symbolism of Death as the omniscient narrator?

**_Death is a universal character that is equal to all. it's not fair and it doesn't have strong personality or opinions. Death just is. Death is an unbiased view. That is a symbolism of Death and the narrator._**

I scribbled my answer down and looked at the next.

2) List four or more central themes to the novel and explain why you feel these are themes of the novel.

_**Abandonment. Guilt. Darkness. Longing for what is hard to have.**  
_

I don't explain my answers.

3) Death says that Liesel was a girl "with a mountain to climb." This is a metaphor for having to overcome a great challenge. What is a mountain in your life that you must climb?  


I dont answer that one.

4) Max and Liesel are two characters with a tendency to fight. Is a child who fights more forgivable than an adult who fights? Why?  


_Is a child who fights more forgivable than an adult who fights? So they're asking if a child killed a man would it be less wrong if an adult killed a man? Is it wrong if anyone kills? A child is just as responsible as killing as an adult. But this is about the story... The children may not have clearly known what they were doing. But they still killed. They all killed. But the children were not as aware. A child's mind is not developed enough to truly understand such things but they still understand enough. So the child is just as responsible as an adult who kills. But..._

**_Ding!_**

The bell rings. I look at the clock above the door and see that class is over. I didn't even get past the fourth question and there re three pages of answers. _I'm so stupid. Couldn't get an answer to a few simple questions. Had to over think it all. I barely have any satisfactory work in for this class and now I'll be even more behind and get a lower grade. I'm so stupid. go tlost in my thoughts and fifteen minutes went by. So stupid.  
_

"Please place your packets on my desk before you leave."

Hazel looks at me concerned as I stand up, hiding my paper from her, and walk to Mr. Chiron's desk with everyone else. I walk back and grab my bag, walking slowly, Hazel taking her time packing up aswell.

"Nico."

_shit_

I turn and look at Mr. Chiron through my bangs.

"I hope you had better luck answering these questions than you did on your first essay for the book."

I don't respond.

"Hazel, dear. Would you please give Nico and I a moment alone, if you will?"

Hazel's eyes dart between me and Mr. Chiron for a moment before nodding and leaving the classroom.

Mr. Chiron and I lock eyes. He gazes into mine, as if seeing inside. His face is calm but his eyes so intense. I feel practically naked standing in front of him, as if all my secrets, all my thoughts, all of who I am, all my fears and pain... displayed out in the open for his eyes to see. And there is nothing I can do to prevent it.

"Nico, you seem troubled."

_Of coarse I seem troubled you creepy fuck. I'm always troubled. In ways you couldn't eve begin to imagine. _

I say nothing.

He sighs, "Nico, it's been almost two full months of school and you still insist on wearing the same mask today as you came here with. This mask does not benefit you nor anyone else."

_...I wear a mask?... I don't wear a mask... I don't hide myself... I am myself... and everyone hates myself... mask?... no such thing... I never benefit anyone, so I don't try... You don't know shit that you're talking about. Just leave me alone. Why can't you just stop? Leave me alone!  
_

_"..."_

"You do not need to do this Nico. If you feel as though there is no one you can take the mask off with, I hope that over time I am able to make you feel as though you are able to remove this mask in my presence."

_...I... what?... No... you... this feeling... stop... You're... Mr. Chiron... I..._

"..."

I look him in the eyes. Mr. Chiron's gaze is sympathetic and sincere...

I rush out of the classroom and into the busy hallway. Shoving through the other people and ignoring their comments of annoyance, I find the nearest boy's bathroom. No one is in there although I did not pay attention. I slam open one of the only two stalls and vomit into the toilet.

_Trust... mask... compassion... lies... trust... my mask... he knows... he knows so much... how does he know... He wants me to feel comfortable around him... He's tries to help me feel comfortable around him... He has never judged me... He has never treated me like a cockroach... he has never hurt me... He is kind to me...  
_

Vomit.

_Safe... trust... he cares... this feeling... It's warm... I feel it throughout my whole body... I remember it slightly... I've felt it before... Mr. Chiron isn't the only one who does this... Bianca... She made me feel safe... She made me feel comfortable... Hazel... Hazel cares for me... Hazel tries to help me... Hazel makes me feel comfortable... Hazel cares for me like Bianca did...  
_

Vomit. I support myself up by pressing my hands against the stall walls, but arms forming a 180 degree angle.

_Not the only one... Familiar... Bianca... Hazel... Jason... Jason gives me the same feeling... He never complained about me...He's always been kind... He lets me sit out... He distracts the guys from saying things about me... He's tried to make me comfortable...  
_

Vomit. My hair falls forward and sticks to my face with sweat at the same time.

_Percy..._

Vomit.

I lean against the stall wall and slide down to the floor, my legs wobbly and weak. The toilet bowl is filled with my vomit, some spattering the seat. I wipe my mouth and nose with toilet paper then flush it all, the scent refusing to leave my nose. My face feels like it has been pulled by a hundred fishing hook. My hair falls flat and sticks to my face, soaked with sweat. I hear the boy's bathroom door open and multiple shoes walking in.

"That kid is begging to get beat. The way he looks at other guys, it's repulsive. Next time I see that faggot, he'll get what he deserves."

Luke's friends laughed and agree, saying their own comments to compliment the one Luke made.

_Control... control... stay quiet... don't do anything... control... please... control yourself... stay quiet... don't move... Don't breathe... Don't change form... control... control...  
_

"Smells like ass and as if something died in here. It's worse than usual," Luke commented.

"Haha, did Eric shit his pants again?"

"I'm right behind you dumbass."

There was a shoving and aggressive mumbling.

"Would you guys shut the fuck up. Damn. Who else is a new faggot this year," Luke snapped.

"Well... There's Jared. He's always sitting with girls and giggling along with them, I've seem him braiding their hair."

"Hhmmm... point him out to me next time," Luke says.

A fire burns in my chest, my legs feel empty and cold though. My heart racing.

_Control... control... Don't do anything stupid... control... Don't let them find you... Don't attract their attention... control yourself... Don't do something stupid... _

"There's that Nico kid too."

I feel the anger, the disgust, and the hate emitting from Luke by the mention of me. I smell the hatred...

"Nico... yes... He's is a faggot for certain, the little repulsive freak."

I choke trying to silently inhale. The stall door slams open, smacking me into the toilet. My head hits the side of the porcelain toilet seat. I squeeze my eyes shut as the impact sends painful shock-waves through my already throbbing skull.

"Look what we have here," I hear Luke sneer, but his voice is distant, "The little shit stabber has been stalking us the whole time. Secretly in the boys bathroom, hiding in the stall to peek."

A hand slams onto my head, fingers grip my hair and yank me up. I try to reach up to grab the owner of the hand's arm, but my own arms feel like cement and tingle. I force my eyes open to only see a blurry figure leering down at me, other blurry figures behind him, the bathroom lights more intense than usual, blinding me. I shut my eyes again and begin to kick, trashing at who I know is holding me, Luke.

"Awe, look at the little twink trying to escape. What's wrong sweety? You seem weaker than before. You're barely moving. Looks more like you're practicing your ballerina dancing."

My ears are over-powered with a thousand male voices laughing. I try to escape his hold but my body wont listen. The laughter continues and I feel myself being dragged by my hair. My head screams in pain but my body feels heavy, the only feeling is tingling like pins and needles.

"What's the matter faggot? Not feeling well? Why don't you just change form? Go demon and kill us all like you were born to do freak."

_...change form... maybe that would help... but... i cant... i cant do it... i cant kill anyone... i can't cause anymore problems... try to be normal..._

I bite my bottom lip as I'm thrown onto the tiled floor. Something pounds into my stomach and i curl up, trying to guard the area from any more impacts. Laughter pounds in my head along with a chorus of cheers and comments. I hear Luke's voice over all of the noise but it's all to distant to understand anything. My head flies backwards from what feels like the bottom of a shoe.

"Rehb enm" I hear from a distance. Hands yank me up my my arms and hold me, locking me in place. I try to pull out of the hold, realizing that i heard 'grab him' in Luke voice moments ago. Someone gets close to my face, i struggle to open my eyes and see a Luke's blurry face. He's grinning as he whispers clear into my ear.

"This is what you deserve, freak."

My head whips to the side as a fist kisses my jaw. Ive never felt so much pain before. I'm proved wrong as a knee or three fists slam into my gut, i can't figure out which. The pain is unbelievable. I spit up blood for the impact and slouch over. Someone yells something similar to 'hold him up' but the laughter and voices become more distant every second.

Another fist or multiple fists slam into my ribs. I spit up blood and choke, trying to breathe but it doesn't work. I can't take any air in, only continuously cough air and blood out.

"HEY! GET AWAY FROM HIM!" Someone yells from miles away.

I drift as my whole body is pulled downwards.

* * *

I ease my eyes open to a dimly lit room. I'm laying on a familiar pale yellow nurse bed. The Last time I was here, Lou had hexed me and the spell went wrong...

"Hey Nico, how are you feeling," a gentle voice asks.

I slowly turn my head and look to the side. Jason is sitting on the bed next to this one. I don't say anything. My whole body feels like it was trampled by a heard of elephants and my head is throbbing.

He grimaces, "Not too good I'm guessing?"

I blink silently. Jason looks down at the floor for a moment then back up at me. His eyes hold much more emotion than before, his voice very soft.

"I'm sorry... You didn't deserve what they did to you Nico..."

_What they did to me? Deserve? What happened? Why am I here? _

I try to begin to sit up.

"Eepmph!"

I squeeze my eyes shut, a painful eel stabbing my chest and gut.

"Whoah... Nico... Don't try to sit up just yet," Jason says, getting up and lightly placing his hand on my shoulder. I feel myself blush from his touch, I look up at his concerned face through slit eyes and my hair. I'm certain he can tell my face is red, but if it was already red from pain or just now from blushing, he doesn't let it show.

"Is he moving?" I hear another male's voice say.

"Yeah," Jason says to them, but keeps his eyes on me as he sits down in his original spot.

"Well make sure he doesn't. His wounds haven't healed enough for him to move yet. He's only going to make it worse."

_I always make things worse dumb ass. I'll be fine. Stop worrying about me and cooing over me. I'm not some kicked puppy. Fuck off. _

I roll my eyes. Jason seems to silently chuckle then cover it up with a fake cough. I glare at him but my head hurts from having to stretch my eyes.

"I'll need to perform another healing on him before I'm certain his ribs are healed fully. He's got internal bleeding Jason. I'm serious. Don't let him move."

_Until my ribs are fully healed? Are they broken? Internal bleeding? What happened? I never get hurt! What happened to me? _My head pounds louder from trying to remember, but I refuse to ask anyone else. _I was in Mr. Chiron's classroom. He had Hazel leave so he could talk to me privately... He wanted me to trust him and be comfortable... Bathroom... vomit..._ My stomach does a flip from the memory. _Luke... Luke came in with his friends... I was so exhausted... He found me... they... they beat me for being... for... they beat me for... _

I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to ignore my thoughts and emotions.

"Relax. Let your body rest. It is okay. You are safe. Let yourself relax," a soothing female's voice says. I feel compelled to listen, as if she was forcing me to, commanding me to. I fight to resist, I don't want to be manipulated like before.

"Piper, that's not working. He's getting more agitated and sweating. Can't you hurry up Will?," I hear Jason snap.

"I'm sorry. It takes me some time for me to 'recharge' after one healing. I'll be ready again in a few minutes," the male voice says again, who I assume is Will.

_Can't you all just go away... Who else is here... Stop comforting me and taking care of me like I'm weak. I'll be fine! Just leave me alone! _

But I can barely move and open my eyes without overwhelming pain.

"Nico," the soothing female voice says, Piper, "No one else is here but the four of us. You need to let us help you. Relax. You're going to make it worse for yourself."

_How do I know you're not lying! You're voice makes me want to listen, want to relax, want to trust you. But I can't trust you! I can barely trust anyone..._

"Alright. I'm ready," Will declares. I ease my eyes open, ignoring the throbbing pain. Piper stands at the front of my bed, at my feet. She has smooth tanned skin with unevenly choppy chocolate brown hair. Her eyes are alluring, as if drawing me in. Despite a few pimples on her face, she is the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. The pimples and uneven hair are just as gorgeous. I feel almost attracted to her as I have to others...

A muscular-build, tall, and shaggy blonde hair boy walks to the side of my bed, blocking half my view of Jason. His hands are glowing a yellow, so faint it's barely visible. I smell a new scent, it's soothing and calming, similar to water but not. The energy feels bright and relaxing.

"I need you to stay perfectly still while I do this, got it Nico," He, Will, more orders me than asks me. I stay still in aggravation simply because there isn't much else I can do. Will places his hand on my stomach. My stomach does a flip and a feel my face grow hotter than when Jason put his hand on my shoulder. Will gently slides his hands around my stomach than up to my chest. My eyes widen by his touch. Will's gaze is focused solely on his task, on his hands, the yellow energy resting where his hands are then seeping inside me, easing the pain. His touch is like a massage, the closest thing to a massage I've ever felt at least.

"Alright," Will says after a few minutes and removes his hands, "try sitting up now."

I sit up with barely any pain. The only pain I feel in my stomach and chest is mild, like an older bruise. I stare up at Will shocked. He has the most stunning grin.

"Better?"

I nod, afraid to speak. His grin widens.

"Good. I was hoping. Now time to work on your face."

I bring my hand up to touch my face, instantly I feel like a piece of the flesh on my face has fallen off, although there is no evidence and no gasps are heard. I remove my hand and look at my fingers, blood drips from them.

"Not the best idea to poke at a wound Nico," Will scolds me lightly. I look up at him as he leans forward and down, almost to my level but a little bit above. He brings his hands to my face, cupping it. I freeze.

"It's okay," Will tells me, "blood doesn't bother me."

I expect searing pain from his touch, but I feel calm and soothed. My jaw becomes less sore every second longer Will holds my face. My cheeks feel less pained and scraped up with every second. Will moves his hands up to my forehead and gently brushes my hair out of my eyes, giving him clear view of my large, stunned, embarrassed eyes. He doesn't say anything about it, he is not looking at my eyes, he is analyzing whatever damage has been done on my forehead, and healing it. My head ache slowly seeps away to a dull buzz, the throbbing no more. Will seems to nod to himself, knowing that he's healed my head. He moves on hand gently to my chin and lifts my head up slightly. I look up into his eyes, my stomach doing a thousand flips, the nausea from before returning. Will brushes his thumb over my swollen lips lightly, instantly the swelling dissipates. Will smiles at me and locks eyes with me, a gentle yet fierce twinkle in his gaze. I'm certain the heat on my face is from me blushing and any wounds do not hide the red.

"Feeling better?" He purrs.

I don't move. Will lets go of my chin, his fingers brushing my jaw line as he pulls his hand away and stands up straight.

"You'll be good now. Any wounds that were serious are now mild, and wounds that were mild are now scars or completely healed. You'll probably feeling bruises inside your body for a few days though. If the pain is too much, come back down. If 'm not in class, I'm always here. Someone has to fill in as nurse," Will says the last sentence sarcastically.

Jason stands. "Thanks Will," He says, clapping him on the shoulder, "Nico looks as good as new."

I feel Jason's gaze on me, but my eyes are still on Will.

"Not a problem, healing is one of my specialties being a son of Apollo and all," Will replies, going over to the desk and typing something into the computer.

Piper giggles and Jason grins, as if they're all sharing some personal joke. I stare at each of them in turn, stunned. If Will openly admitted to being a demigod, then that means that Jason and Piper must be demigods too and know. I wonder who each of their parent's are, but my mind takes a turn and I begin to worry that they know who my parent is.

I stand and just notice now that my jacket is open, and my dark blue shirt is stained with blood and damp with sweat that hasn't fully dried. My black jeans have stains of blood on them as well.

"Do you need a different set of clothes for the rest of the day," Jason asks me.

I shake my head, refusing to say anything to them.

"You can talk Nico," Piper chimes in. I feel compelled to speak, even a tiny bit. But I'm humiliated, and ashamed, and shocked, and feeling a whole ton of other emotions I'm just beginning to comprehend. I simply nod at her. She shrugs.

"Ya know, Jason carried you all the way here."

If she's trying to make me feel better, she is not doing a good job. Her voice constantly is either luring me in, compelling me to do something, or has much more meaning than what she simply says.

"Aha... It was nothing. I couldn't let them do that to you Nico. I just wish I had gotten there sooner. I'm sorry."

I turn to Jason, he's looking down at the floor, a light color to his cheeks that oppose his concerned eyes and shamed frown.

"..."

_He cares... He was the one who came in when Luke and his friends were... He carried me here... while I was unconscious... He got me help and made sure I was healed... He feels guilty that he wasn't able to get to me sooner... He... Jason cares... _

**_Ding!_**

"That's the end of second block. Wherever you guys are supposed to be you should get there before we all get in trouble for 'conspiring against the school rules'," Will tells us, the last part dripping with sarcasm and said with his fingers in quotations.

I nod and begin to walk out of the nurse's office.

"HEY!"

I turn, standing in the doorway.

"You could show some appreciation. Maybe a thank you?" Will playfully scolds me.

I feel the heat come back to my face.

"...uh... th-...thank.. you..." I mumble. I catch Will wink at me as he turns to Jason to say something, Jason smiles at me. I rush down the hallways.

* * *

_**Well, that's the next chapter ^_^ I hope you enjoyed it. I'm looking forward to what happens between Nico and Will and Jason and what might Nico do to Luke for hurting him. **_


	11. Chapter 11

_**Next chapter!**_

_**Just a warning. Later in the story Nico has another very emotional intense moment where he self harms. I have placed "SKIP HERE" "SKIP TO HERE" for those who may be triggered or do not feel comfortable reading that. **_

* * *

I race down the hall and into the crowded stairwell. I walk up the stairs, ignore the people rushing past. They all have somewhere to go now, I have lunch. I pull the 'rip-off' I-pod out of my pocket that Nico gave me. A few days ago he also gave me a set of good ear buds for it. I place the ear buds in my ears, shoving them in. I hold the top button down on the small device and it flashes on. Some people shove me and complain about my slow pace, I ignore them.

_"Where are the people that accused me?_

_The ones who beat me down and bruised me"_

I turn the volume all the way up, drowning out the world. I walk up the next flight of stairs to the second floor.

_He cornered me, like a defenseless small animal…. He found me at my weakest and took advantage of my state….. He beat me…. He beat me down…. He humiliated me…. He beat me because I'm….. Because I like…. He beat me….._

_"They hide just out of sight_

_Can't face me in the light_

_They'll return but I'll be stronger"_

_Luke will pay. I will make him pay. I will destroy him. He will pay for what he did to me…. For…. For hurting me…. No one touches me…. I'm not weak…. He will pay…. I will kill him…. He will beg me to kill him…. Luke will pay…._

_"God, I want to dream again_

_Take me where I've never been_

_I want to go there"_

I walk up to the fourth floor, ignoring everyone as they rush past. I circle the halls a few times thinking of all the things I could do to Luke, waiting for the halls to clear. Finally the bell rings and the last stragglers empty the halls. I walk to the old closet I once occupied.

_"This time I'm not scared_

_Now I am unbreakable, it's unmistakable_

_No one can touch me_

_Nothing can stop me"_

I try to open the door but the handle stays in place.

_Focus….Focus….control….. the lock…. The inside of the handle….. focus… the lock…. Control…. Control…. _

The door clicks and I push it open. I check the door for any signs of decomposition, there are none. I check the handle, besides it being very loose, it's fine. I congratulate myself on mold that now grows in a tiny patch where the lock once was. I step into the small room and shut the door.

_"Sometimes it's hard to just keep going_

_But faith is moving without knowing_

_Can I trust what I can't see?_

_To reach my destiny_

_I want to take control but I know better"_

_Luke will regret he ever looked at me… He will regret finding me in the bathroom… He will regret every minor thing he did to me… He will regret talking to Hazel the first day of school…. He will regret ever knowing me… _

Rage builds up in me. My stomach feels like it's a stretched rubber band being tied in knots. I feel the shadows in the room shift. The darkness seems to swarm. I close my eyes. A fire starts at my feet, a pulling downwards, then the fire spreads throughout my whole body.

_"God, I want to dream again_

_Take me where I've never been_

_I want to go there_

_This time I'm not scared_

_Now I am unbreakable, it's unmistakable_

_No one can touch me_

_Nothing can stop me"_

My body is fire. I pull off my jacket just as sports on my shoulder-blades rip open. I grind my teeth in pain as the large black wings sprout and stretch out until they touch the walls of the empty janitor's closet. I no longer feel my flesh, only bone everywhere except my chest and abdomen. A black sword hangs at my side, chains wrap around my shoulders and hang down. I open my eyes that aren't there and grin. The darkness surges through me, power I've only begun to taste. I pull one of the small boxes off the chains, it snaps off with a clink.

_"Forget the fear it's just a crutch_

_That tries to hold you back_

_And turn your dreams to dust"_

The energy inside is a deep blue swirling with blood red.

"You will help me." I open the glass box. The energy swarms out of the box in front of me, rushing and expanding. It begins to collect into a large human form, bowing down on one knee. The energy thickens and hardens, forming into a large humanoid figure. His skin is so dark blue that it is almost black. He has short chopped uneven hair with small beady slit red eyes and a smashed in nose. Fangs protrude down from up inside the demon's mouth. His ears are long and pointed backwards. He wears no shoes, showing off his long clawed toe nails that match his finger nails. He radiates anger, hate, and power.

_"God, I want to dream again_

_Take me where I've never been_

_I want to go there_

_This time I'm not scared_

_Now I am unbreakable, it's unmistakable_

_No one can touch me_

_Nothing can stop me"_

"You are to serve me," I tell him.

"Yes my lord," he replies in a deep voice.

"My target is Luke. I want you to spy on him. Figure out information for me. What are his strengths and what are his weaknesses. Follow him."

"Yes my lord."

"Go."

**_Ding!_**

_"Don't blame your death _

_On the shit in your head that you claimed ate you like a virus for days on end._

_I watched you decay,_

_Watched you waste away._

_Who'd you think you'd fool, baby, digging your own grave?"_

He turns into a wisp of deep blue and blood red energy and slides under the door. I hear many footsteps in the hallway. Lunch has ended and they're all headed to their next class. No one knows what's going on just behind a door. No one knows what is behind the door in this small janitor's closet. No one knows what I have just done, nor what will happen. They're all lost in their own world, ignorant of me, but they don't care anyways.

_"So go ahead, you just drop dead,_

_And while you're trying to fool the whole world don't forget that you'll decay_

_And you'll waste away._

_You can't cheat death when you're digging your own grave."_

_Focus….calm yourself…. Relax…. Focus….. _

I close my eyes.

_Human… rushing blood…. Flesh…. Skin….. focus…. Human… my body…. _

I feel a pulling release in my gut. I begin to feel the flesh crawl down my bones from my abdomen, coating my arm bones and leg bones. I feel the muscles in my wings, I close them as they seep back into my back. The shadows calm down, easing back into peaceful darkness. I feel lighter as the sword and the chains seep away in the air.

_"You're out of line,_

_Buried yourself alive,_

_And expected to be fine._

_You can't rewind,_

_When you're choking on your own dirt,_

_Begging for your life."_

I walk out into the busy hallway, now fully human. No one looks at me as I find my way into the crowd, heading towards the stairs. Most of them make comments at me, I ignore them. I won't feel less than them. I won't show them that they have power over me. I can do things from their worst nightmares.

_"Your bridges are burning. (All your bridges are burning)_

_And all the tables are turning. (All your tables are turning)_

_You started a fire and you're,_

_Burning up, up._

_Burning up."_

I make my way down the stairs, listening to the music blasting in my ears, ignoring everyone else.

_"What you give is what you get._

_And in your case that's nothing but guilt and regret._

_And all the flames you kept in your brain,_

_Came out your lips and sent you straight into your own grave._

_You were a walking, talking, corpse at best._

_And I swear I couldn't wait to get you off my chest,_

_And when you asked us why_

_We couldn't look you in your eyes,_

_It's hard to find life,_

_In something that's already died."_

I walk into the second floor hallway and to my drawing and painting class. Mrs. Techne sits at her desk, drawing something in her sketchbook as students come into the class. I ignore them all and go to the back of the classroom where the paints are. I take a pallet and squeeze a decent amount of each colors that I want. I get white, brown, blue, yellow, green, and a small amount of a few other colors, leaving some spots open to mix paints. I place the pallet at my desk then go to the drying cupboard where my painting is that I began last class. I hold the painting up, so far it is just two figures, one of them is waving and the other holds something in her hand, both of them holding each other's hands face forward. I take it to my desk and place it up on my easel.

_"For every ending a new beginning_

_Oh so they say baby, for everything a reason_

_And so they say baby, for everything a reason."_

The song changes and a woman's voice floods into my ears, her voice soft and accompanied by a guitar. I go to the pack by the paints where there are five cups of different size brushes. I pick out a few different sizes and fill and empty cup with water, then bring it all back to my spot. I dip a small brush in the brown and mix it with a tiny bit of white, creating a deep tanned color. I gently touch the brush to the canvas.

_"And those who loved before will be brought back together _

_Yeah those who loved before will be brought back together _

_And so they say baby, for everything a reason_

_And so they say baby you will be brought."_

The brush strokes come easily. I use the deep tanned brown color and fill in a large portion of one of the figure's with the color. I don't focus on what I am painting, simply the act of it and allowing all portrait to flow out by itself. Next I use a dip of the black and focus on the eyes of one. Then I create a chocolate brown and continue to pain.

_"I saw you leaving, I saw the light go out_

_I saw you leaving_

_I saw you leaving"_

I mix the colors and use the different size brushes. Everything seems to be surreal, as if my body is acting and painting out the image on it's own accord. I give into the piece and allow myself to paint freely with no though. The song changes and a soft male's voice begins to sing, once again accompanied by a acoustic guitar.

_"So there my friend, you're in the deep end._

_Just hanging on to hope by a loose thread._

_Well it's never good, to try and play pretend._

_But maybe what's broken, can start to shine."_

I go to the back of the room where all the paints are and look for a color. It needs to be a color with a certain shine, like a glow. I pick out a shiny silver and a shiny bronze and put some on my pallet then go back to my seat and mix a few colors. I use a small point brush and paint in one of the figure's eyes with a bronzy-gold color.

_"And you'll find, this time tomorrow._

_We'll decide where it will all go, in this life._

_Those younger years, never saw yourself standing here._

_They disappeared, all the moments you held so dear._

_Start keeping them close, waves come and go."_

I stop working on the two figures while they are incomplete and begin the background, moving around the painting as I work. I mix the blue with some white and create a sky blue. I begin to pain the background with the color. Then I allow it to try, using a yellow I thinned out by dipping the brush into water after I dipped it in the paint.

_"And you'll find, this time tomorrow_

_We'll decide where it will all go, in this life"_

I continue to mix different shades of brown and use them on the two figures. For the clothing I use black, grey shades, deep blues, and raspberry purple. The colors come to my mind, race down my arm to my hand, and then the brush responds in making the colors.

_"Let it play out, I hope that the sun,_

_I hope that the sun, finds you now."_

All I have left to do is the hair and complete the faces. I work silently, focusing on the music, lost in my world.

_"Let it play out, I hope that the sun,_

_I hope that the sun, finds you now."_

Finally, I'm done. I stand up back and look at my work and immediately regret it. My thoughts become cloudy as my mind drifts away, refusing to think, continuing to be empty as everything just flows. My legs and arms feel cold, inside me feels darker than usual, lost. Inside my body it feels like a dark void, empty of everything as it gets sucked into nothingness. My limbs feel heavy. I want to look away from the painting, but my eyes stay focus on it.

_"And you'll find, this time tomorrow,_

_We'll decide where it will all go, in this life."_

It's Bianca and Hazel.

* * *

"You have the rest of class to work on the review packet with your partner, whatever you do not finished will be for homework. Next class is your unit test so be prepared."

Mr. Surle nods at us all before walking over to his desk and going onto his computer. The class is silent for a moment before they all begin to talk to their partners. Everyone got to pick partners, naturally no one chose me. The only reason why I have a partner is because Hazel is in my class and she walked over to me just before Mr. Surle addressed us. I can barely look at her.

"Well…. This packet looks easy enough. All the answers are in the text book or in our binders. Do you… want to do it together?"

Hazel's voice is gentle and cautious; she's trying to sound upbeat. I stare at the four page packet about early humans and the Neolithic Revolution. I don't answer Hazel.

_Mrs. Techne walked over and saw my painting… She was amazed by it… She showed it to the class as an example and praised me on my work quality and the strong emotions displayed in the painting….. Mrs. Techne critiqued it and had nothing but good things to say…. A portrait of Bianca and Hazel…. That I painted…. Both of them holding hands and smiling at me….. Bianca waving a me and Hazel holding a large diamond…. They were laughing, excited and calling me… _

"You could answer all this by yourself, if you wanted to work alone…" Hazel offer's.

I look at the first question, asking where the earliest human skeletons have been found. I answer it and move onto the next question. The questions are simple and soon I stop focusing as the answers just come out of me.

_I remember what day that was….. Hazel had only been living with us for a week…. Bianca had been so excited about having a little sister and treated her like they had been close together since birth…. Hazel wanted to go for a walk in the woods with us, have a picnic, and look for gems and stones (as she wanted to embrace Hazel's ability and help her to tame it)…. We had a hellhound take us to the forest Bianca and I always visited, it was her favorite…. There were patches of open fields throughout the forest; from the sky the ground likely looked like that of a Dalmatian dog except in the shades of green…. It was such a bright sunny day…. Hazel and I were so close in age, I felt like I had a friend besides Bianca for the first time…. I was so young…. I was happy because Bianca was always happy around me…. But now I know her happiness was always a lie….. Bianca faked being happy for me…. And when Hazel came along, Bianca faked being happy for Hazel too…. We never let Bianca be sad…. She always tried her best to take care of us, make sure we were happy, and were having fun….. That day….. That day is the best memory I have of the two of them together….. everything changed so quickly after that day….. barely even a week later….. I was jealous of Hazel…. I wanted Bianca to help me and teach me how to use my abilities too… If I hadn't been so jealous….. If I hadn't been so impatient….. Bianca would never have tried teaching me…. Bianca would never have taken me to that forest again to train me….. I would never have killed her….. She would still be alive….. and the three of us would have much more happy days like the one I painted…. It's all my fault…. My fault she's dead…. My fault…. I killed her…. I'm so stupid…. I had to fuck up… I destroyed her forest… and I destroyed her…. _

I bite my lip and look up at the clock. Five minutes left of class. I'm done with the packet. Hazel sits next to me, reading her book peacefully. I want to reach out to her, ask her if she remembers that day, ask her if she remembers Bianca even though she only knew her for a few weeks…. Ask her if she remembers that day… and ask her if she blames me….

**_Ding!_**

"let's go," I mumble as I stand up and look at the floor, I hold my text book and binder in my hand., "I need to stop at my locker before we leave though…" I mumble.

I can feel Hazel's shocked eyes on me but she doesn't say what she's thinking. "Okay."

We walk together to my locker, she stands behind me as I put in the combination, put my books inside, and shut it again.

"Do you need to go to your locker," I ask her without looking at her.

"Uhm… well… yeah. Can we?"

I nod and follower her down the hall to her locker. I watch her open the locker and put her books and binder inside. Her locker is decorated on the inside with quotes, pictures of horses, an old slightly-damaged and stained picture of her and her mom, and a small image of me and her when we were kids….

"Alright," Hazel sighs, shutting her locker, "I'm ready."

For the first time since my painting, I stare at her, locking eyes.

_She…. Has a picture of me? Of both of us…. As kids? How… how did she get that…. When?... she still has it…. She…Hazel…. Hazel cares….. Hazel must remember…._

"Do…. Do you… remember… B-…. Bia….. Bianca…." I stutter out, slowly. The words taste like led in my mouth.

Hazel stares back at me with a blank expression for just a moment, then her eyes go wide.

"I…well…. Nico… Are…. Are you sure you want to talk about this?..."

I swallow, watching her face go from shock to concern to worry. "Y-yeah…"

A girl down the hall gasps and squeals, complaining about how her ear's feel like they were just torn, her earrings are both missing. Hazel looks down at her feet and picks up the small ruby earrings and pockets them quickly.

"We could talk about this later, if you're more comfortable with that," she suggests.

I shake my head, "No…"

Hazel looks from side to side as if looking for an escape, she watches the last few people walking in the hall either going to the busses or to an after-school activity. I stand in front of her, holding my gaze.

"I… well…. Nico…" Hazel begins to say.

"Tell me," I mumble at her, "…. Please…"

Hazel crouches down and picks up another set of earrings and a diamond ring. "Well… yes… I.. I remember Bianca…"

My heart beats faster, my breathe becomes quicker, and my thoughts begin to race.

"What do you remember…"

Hazel glances at a random spot off to the side, her eyes getting a far-away gaze.

"Well… she had beautiful silky brown hair that she always braided to the side…. She would take care of us, making us lunch every day…"

I feel the corners of my mouth poke upwards, the motion feels unnatural but appropriate. Bianca would make lunch every day since I can remember. Different sandwiches, fruits cut and placed into animal shapes, celery sticks with peanut butter.

"We watched movies all together. We only had a few tapes but sometimes she would come back with new videos from the store or Library and we would watch those… Bianca was funny, trying to get us to laugh by tickling us if we were upset."

I felt my forehead ease, my eyes relaxing as I watched Hazel reminiscing. All the things she remembers, she only has few memories of, I know that. Hazel only knew Bianca for a few weeks, I knew Bianca my whole life….

"Bianca loved the forest-" _yeah… the forest…. _"-she loved the nature. All the deer and bunnies and birds seemed to follow her sometimes. And she was always smiling. Bianca was really nature-girl and happy for who our father is."

_Happy? You think Bianca was always happy?! You didn't know her at all! That was fake! It was an act! Bianca was barely ever happy! Bianca faked her smile for us! For me! Bianca was never happy!_

"That's enough," I spit out before Hazel can continue. She may remember Bianca, but Hazel did not know her."

Hazel comes out of her daze and looks at me. Her eyes hold a sadness, I've said something wrong again and hurt her.

"I-… I'm sorry….. That's fine….. Th-….Thank you Hazel…" I try the words slowly. Hazel nods and keeps her face composed, but I can tell she's hurt.

"Let's… go home…." I mumble.

* * *

The night is quiet and lonely. I sit on my bed, gazing at nothing in my room in the attic. Mocha circles around my feet hanging off the side of the bed, bopping into them and flicking them with her soft tail.

"I know…. You're hungry… alright Mocha… I'll feed you," I tell her, standing up.

"Meo!"

I walk over to her food bowls and pick up the bag of food I bought. "Here…" Mocha pushes her face between the pouring food bag and her bowl, pieces of food fall onto her head before I pick it up. They clatter down but Mocha doesn't mind, she fiercely eats the food.

_You're not starving…slow down… I have fed you regularly…. I take care of you…. _

I watch Mocha eat her food, loud crunching sounds coming from her mouth as she cracks eat kibble with her teeth. Since I got her she has grown some, she's still very much a kitten but no longer so tiny. I walk over to my bed and sit.

_'What's the matter faggot? Not feeling well?' 'The little shit stabber-' 'This is what you deserve' 'freak' ' faggot' 'let us help you, relax' 'disgusting' 'I remember her' ….. The voices of today echo through my head. Hazel thinking that she knew Bianca, remembering who she was, when really Hazel doesn't know Bianca at all. Piper, Jason, and Will trying to help me. Will healing my wounds. Jason having to rush in and save me because I was too weak to defend myself. Mr. Chiron knowing things about me and trying to get me to trust him. Luke finding me in the bathroom after vomiting. Luke dragging me out and beating me up….. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Why didn't you stand up for yourself? Why did you let yourself get beat, get humiliated, get trashed, and then having to be rescued. Pathetic. Luke was right. You deserve to get beaten. You're repulsive. A faggot. A freak. A murderer too. Horrible… worthless… disgusting… It's all your fault… why can't you be better…. You're not trying hard enough…. You're so pathetic… you summoned a demon to do your work for you….. worthless….pathetic…..disgusting… freak…_

I rip off my shirt, it already has holes in the back from where my wings came out. I pull open my bed-stand drawer and bring out one of my many knives.

**SKIP HERE  
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**SKIP HERE  
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**SKIP HERE  
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**SKIP HERE**

I hold the knife In my right hand and hold it against my left wrist. There are scars and old scabbed-over slits. I press the blade in and bite my lip as I pull it across. Blood rushes to the opening and seeps out. I place the knife a bit higher and press down, digging in deeper as I pull the knife across my skin. It hurts yet comforts me at the same time. I make five more cuts in my left forearm, the blood seeping out and dripping, covering the edge of my knife. I place the knife in my left hand and hold my right arm upwards, exposing my right forearm. My left arm shakes slightly as I slowly move it to press the blade against my right wrist. I take a sharp breath in as I drag the blade across my skin. I stare at the cut. It's not good enough. I put the blade back on my right wrist and press down harder, going a bit deeper as I pull the blade across. I cover my right forearm with deep cuts, matching my left forearm. I watch the blood seep out, blending into other blood trails from the other cuts. My wrists are red, in some spots the blood becomes goopy, clumping together and beginning to dry. I close my eyes and breathe out a slow shaky breath and pass the knife back into my right hand. I bring my hand slowly up to my left shoulder, the blade is warm from the blood against my upper bicep. I press as hard as I can and drag the knife down and across my shoulder, creating a deep and wide cut. Blood rushes out of the incision and runs down my arm. I open my squeezed shut eyes and look at my work so far. The cut is deeper than all the others, more blood than any of the others rushes to the surface to escape out of my body. Even my blood has had enough of me. I watch it happen. I take the knife and slowly widen it, digging at it with the blade. I bite my lip hard, a small trail of warm liquid bubbles to the surface of my lip and slithers down my chin.

**SKIP TO HERE  
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**SKIP TO HERE  
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**SKIP TO HERE  
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**SKIP TO HERE**

"STKah…." I pull the blade away and toss the knife into the open drawer. I lean forward in pain, squeezing right below what I did to myself. I hold myself, ignoring the burning stings from the wounds being pressed against my bare skin. The blood slides onto the backs of my arms and onto my chest. I bite down on my bottom lip, feeling the pain. Hating the pain but wanting the pain…. I rest there until I stop feeling the blood moving over my skin. Slowly, I sit up and look at my arms. I feel cold and empty and heavy as I see all the damage I've done to myself. My arms are covered and I pain, yet I just want to do it again.

I adjust myself on my bed and lay down on my back, my arms resting out at my sides flat, the wounds exposed to the world. My head throbs lightly as I study a spot on the support beams of the roof-ceiling wood that I know all too well.

Mocha jumps onto my bed by my feet.

"Mew?"

I lay still and ignore her, staring up at the ceiling and feeling the stinging burning sensation that throbs along both my arms to and my shoulder. She pushes her head against my foot, head-butting the balls of my foot.

"Not now Mocha," I whisper softly. Only the air hears my pain, the nothingness.

"Mew?"

Her meow is soft and quiet, concern in her tiny cat voice. I feel her walk up my bed, her small paws making miniscule dips into the black comforter.

"Mew."

Mocha pushes her whole body against my waist. Mocha's soft fur tickles my bare hips and side of my stomach. I try to ignore her.

Mocha walks up the bed more and stops at the top of my shoulder.

"Ssssttttffff!"

My body stiffens as Mocha's rough tongue licks the large wound at my shoulder. After a moment I force myself to relax, loosening the muscles. I slowly turn my head to the side and watch Mocha as she licks at the wound in the same manner a mother cat would lick her kitten's wounds.

"Mocha…."

The wound burns as she irritates it, but it's obvious she's trying to help it heal. I look back up at the roof-ceiling. My body feels heavy and hollow, nothing inside yet so much inside. I close my eyes and begin to breathe at a slow leveled pace. As I drift off I feel Mocha step onto my bare chest and curl up. The last things I hear are the soft rhythmic sounds of cat purrs.

* * *

I take my jacket off and place it on the toilet seat then roll up my t-shirt sleeve. I hold the short sleeve up and look at my upper bicep/shoulder in the mirror.

_Shit…._

The gash is swollen out and red, the skin around the gash is puffy and the skin color has chained from my natural olive-shade to a bright pinkish-red. I reach my finger down to poke at the pinkish-red skin, heat comes off and I breathe in sharply as a sharp pain ricochets throughout my shoulder.

_It's only been a few days… it will heal….. it's fine….. It's just irritated from rubbing against my clothes….. it's fine…. It will heal….. _

I grab my jacket and pull it on as I walk out of –one of the many- first floor bathroom. The hall is dark, with only a candle light. I walk to the large living room and stand in the archway.

_This is where Bianca and I spent a lot of time….. watching movies….. playing board games… talking…._

I can almost hear the old laughter from years ago echoing through the empty room. I walk in and go over to the TV, we always kept all the movies and board games on the book shelf beside it. Now those games and movies are gone, the shelves clean and empty. I suppose Hades isn't planning on having any more children soon…. One of the furries –his servants- had brought Bianca and I the movies and games. When Bianca…..when I… I didn't want to watch the movies any more or play the games. Hazel did from time to time and would ask me to play with her…. I always told her no.

_I always told Hazel no when she tried to spend time with me….. I always pushed her away… It's my fault she's nervous to socialize with me… It's my fault… If I hadn't pushed her away, then maybe….. maybe I wouldn't have….. been so lonely….. _

I sit on the large black sofa, sinking in. My spot was always in the middle so I had the perfect view of the TV. Bianca would cuddle with me as we watched movies, Hazel too. Now Hazel and I spend most of our time in our separate rooms.

_I wish I could go back to that..._

* * *

**Will's POV**

I sit in the nurse's office listening to music with my eyes closed. I know I should be in class but I had a gut feeling that I needed to be in the nurse's office. Normally I only come down here and act as a fill-in nurse when I have a study hall or a class that I can miss, but today was different. An hour ago I was sitting in history when a feeling began to bubble in my gut. I _knew _I had to come down here and wait some something. The feeling was overwhelmingly strong, forcing me to excuse myself from class. A few of my siblings have mentioned have prophetic dreams and visions, but I have never had such an experience. When I was hit with the feeling I needed to be in the nurse's office, I'm certain that it was a prophetic feeling.

"Hey."

I look up at the doorway. A short boy dressed in all black stands there, his head down. I can barely see his face behind his jacket hood and his hair, but there is only one person I know who dresses like that. Nico Di Angelo.

"Hey Nico, come in," I grin although I am unsure if he can see through his hood and hair.

The shadows in the room seem to be drawn to the black figure that walks in and comes to the desk. I keep the lights in the nurse's office dim when I am here, but now the room seems to become a shade darker, as if the light is being sucked out. I suppress the uncomfortable shiver that goes through me and touch the bracelet I always have on. It's a simple bronze bracelet with a tiny charm of the sun. No one would suspect it of being anything special, but all the children of Apollo know it's special. My father himself gave it to me, telling me that it holds the power of the sun. Well, he did not exactly say that. To recall his exact words though are confusing because of his habit to speak in haikus; '_when you find darkness, hold this charm bracelet to you, and sun light shall warm.' _After a few experimental moments and hours trying to understand his haiku, I discovered that the tiny sun charm holds a small portion of power from the sun, a gift from my father.

I touch the charm to my skin now, filling me with comfortable light as the room adjusts to Nico, a bundle of darkness.

"Do you need help with something? You're not hurt, are you," I tease the quiet boy.

"Will…. Promise me something…."

I'm taken aback by the ferocity of his tone. "Uhm… depends on what it is."

"Swear to me. Swear that you will not tell anyone what I have come to you for today. Swear it."

Nico picks his head up and looks at me through his bangs. His eyes are filled with such an intensity I find myself shiver.

"Well…. If it's serious, I need to tell someone. That's the rules… I'm not an official nurse," I reply gently.

Nico closes his eyes in annoyance, as if expecting that. When he opens them again, his expression is calm but his eyes are filled with more emotions than I can identify.

"Will… I need your help…. Swear to me…. That you will not tell anyone…. What I have come to you for today…."

Although I know I shouldn't, something inside me tells me to agree, to swear to keep Nico's visit secret, to respect his privacy.

"I… I swear."

The moment the words leave my mouth, I feel the room shift, as if I have made an oath. I feel the darkness in the room swarm, gulping up the light then spitting it out. As if someone flipped a switch, everything relaxes. I look at Nico, his expression no longer as intense and guarded. He looks upset, almost scared.

"So… what did you need…"

"I need your help… I'm hurt."

I stand up and walk around the desk to Nico. He doesn't move.

"Where?"

"Can we go somewhere more private," Nico mumbles, glancing at the open door.

"Sure," I say plainly, wondering what injury is so serious he needs privacy, and where. I lead him to the door near the sink. The door leads to a small private room with a nurse's bed and a chair. We use this room for scoliosis checks and other things where the person could either be contagious or needs privacy.

"Sit on the bed," I say and then shut the door. I turn around and walk over to the chair and sit, staring at Nico intently. Nico sits on the edge of the bed, his jacket laying behind him. He slouches forward, resting his arms on his thighs and holding his knees.

"So where's the wound," I ask casually.

"Roll up my sleeve," Nico replies quietly. I take hold of the black t-shirt sleeve and gently roll it back up to his shoulder.

"Oh Nico…." I gasp, "How did you get this…"

Nico doesn't respond. I touch the wound lightly and he flinches, then stiffens his arm. A small amount of cloudy liquid seeps out of the spot where my figure touched. Puss. The gash has scabbed over in browns and deep greens and reds. I can tell where the scab has broken. The whole area is swollen and the skin surrounded is puffy and red. I continue to examine the wound.

"Nico, why didn't you come to me sooner? This is severely infected," I close my eyes and place my hand over the large infected gash.

I pull my hand away and look at Nico's face. His head is down, his black hair falling around his face, separating me from him like a wall.

"Nico," I say gently.

"Can you heal it or not," he snaps at me.

"Yeah…" I reply, "I can… But I'm going to disinfect it naturally. It's going to hurt."

"Fine."

I nod and get up and go into the office; I grad a thin medical knife, a paper cup, disinfectant spray, medical tape, and a large bandage. I bring the supplies into the room and set them on the bed behind Nico. I hold the small paper cup under the infected-scabbed-over gash and gently touch the greenish scab with the knife.

"This might hurt a bit," I mutter and begin to work. I carefully scrape away the infectious scab, allowing the pieces to fall into the cup. Nico sucks in a sharp intake of breath then stiffens once more. I continue to scrape off the infectious scab, ignoring the cloudy puss and blood that rushes to the surface from my actions.

_It's deep…. It's at least a week old…. And he's picked at it…. How did he even get such a wound? I know Nico isn't someone you want to mess with, but I haven't heard of him picking fights….. _I continue to examine the wound, the information about it floods into me the more I analyze it and work on it. _It was done by a knife…. A pocket Knife?... Who did this to him….. Luke didn't hurt him again, did he?... It was dug in deep, as if the person who caused it wanted Nico to be in excruciating pain….. As if they wanted to damage the flesh…. Nico should have gotten help immediately for it… It's bleeding too much….. It's too wide… The wound is an inch or so deep…. He should have gotten stitches….._

I pull away the bloody knife and the paper cup damp with blood. I walk out to the office and throw the cup out and place the knife in the sink. I grab a few paper towels and head back into the room. The office does not have the proper needle and thread for me to stitch the wound myself. I sit down and try to mop up the blood which streams from the wound, dripping down Nico's arm like water-snakes racing down a car windshield. I hover my free hand over the wound and close my eyes, focusing. I draw energy from the sun, the ultimate giver of life and healing, and focus the energy into my hand. I imagine the white blood cells coming together and hardening with the red blood cells. When I look again the wound has a thin clear-ish scab over it, a simple layer of healing to stop the bleeding. I toss the red-stained moist paper towels into the trash on the side of the bed, ignoring the lingering blood on my hand. I pick up the bottle of disinfectant spray and spray onto the wound. Nico winces again.

"Sorry it burns," I mumble and keep working. I unwrap the large bandage and place it on the clean wound and use medical tape to wrap it around into place. Once more I place my hand over the wound and close my eyes, focusing on the cells, trying to speed up the healing process. I heal the wound until I can sense it is at the point where stitches will no longer be necessary. Nico sits patiently, silently.

"So," I say casually, sitting up in my chair, "Did Luke do that to you?"

"No," Nico replies quietly. He does not move, his hands still firmly holding his knee caps.

"If he did then I'll make sure he pays for it Nico. I'm serious." Nico does not reply, but still makes no indication of moving.

"Did they hurt you anywhere else," I ask, "I might as well heal those too."

_Something feels wrong… _I think to myself as I watch Nico's whole body stiffen like a board by the question. He grips his knees tighter, the black jeans straining into his fingers.

"You can put that stuff away now. I'm okay," He mumbles.

_I can put the supplies away now…. But I can't…. I need to sit here longer… You're not answering my questions….. I can feel it…. I can sense it…. Something is wrong…. Something is very, seriously wrong…. There are more wounds… They hurt you more….. _

I look Nico's body up and down, trying to sense where on his body the other injuries are. I suspect that Luke attacked Nico again, but something else tells me that Luke did not cause the large gash on his upper-arm and shoulder…..

"Nico. Show me your arms."

Nico's whole body seems to go through a shivery panic although he only moves slightly, shifting his position towards the wall away from me.

"I'm okay. Put the medical stuff away. Thank you for helping me."

_Grab his arm. Grab his arm. Grab his arm. Grab his arm. GRAB his arm. GRAB HIS ARM. GRAB. HIS. ARM!_

I grab Nico's arm from his thigh and turn it towards me before he can stop me. All around his arm are light scars I had not noticed before. All along his wrist and forearm are darker scars, old cuts that have scabbed over, and fresh cuts that look as recent as last night. Nico snatches his arm away and stands up, reaching for his jacket. I get a few quick glances at his other arm and see an almost identically harmed arm before Nico throws on his jacket, hiding his arms.

"Nico wait-" I call out to him as he rushes out of the room. I follow him into the office just to catch a split-second glimpse of him stepping into a dark corner of the room and vanishing.

* * *

**Music:  
Unbreable by Fireflight  
Fire by PVRIS  
For Everything there is a Reason by Carina Round  
This Time Tomorrow by Trent Dabbs  
**

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_**Hello guys! This was a long chapter to write. I'm trying to write longer chapters because I feel like I'm teasing you all when I write chapters that you can finish reading in less than five minute. So I hope this is good enough! I've been planning the scene with Will and Nico ever since Will healed Nico's wounds from Luke (which may not seem that long ago but it has been like two weeks for me and I've been trying to write this chapter and figure out how I was going to make it all blend and make sense and such). So I hope you liked the chapter. I do wish to apologize to those of you who have a weak stomach, (eh heh...) I'm really detailed in my writing so I hope no one got sick or was eating food while they read that part. Well, anyways... School is starting soon so my updating might become slower. Wish me luck though x3 I'm going back to my third year of that wonderful called high-school, almost over though *shouts happily*. **_


	12. Chapter 12

**_Hey everyone. Sorry for the update being so late. I've been busy with school and my other fanfiction (which you should definitely go check out). Honestly though I haven't had much motivation to write the next chapter. I'm appreciative for the comments I get but it just doesn't seem like enough people read this story or like it. I know it's going slow but the first half is strictly Nico and his problems, and second half is Percy and Nico and Nico's problems. I'm debating on doing a time skip but that just seems wrong. Idk… I guess I would like more feedback and for my story to attract more people. But anyways… here is the next chapter! Hope you enjoy. We got some Percy and Nico in this chapter *winks*._**

* * *

**Percy's POV**

"Hey Jason, how's leading the gym classes going?"

"Mostly boring," Jason tells me, momentarily pausing from stuffing food into his mouth, "Unless I participate with them, I just tell them what to do." All around our lunch table laughter can be heard.

"Obviously genius," Annabeth comments to Jason sarcastically, "You're the teacher. You're supposed to tell them what to do."

"Ha ha. I know that," Jason replies, an annoyed look in his eyes. I chuckle at their interaction. Annabeth and Jason and I have been best friends since freshman year and I've been trying to hook them up for ages now. In freshman year when we all came together Annabeth had confessed to having a crush on me, and if I admit it to myself, I liked her some too. But freshman year was a complicated time for me and although I liked Annabeth, I could never imagine dating her. Then Jason came along and everything fit to me. I've tried to get the two together multiple times, amused by their sarcastic interactions, but on no occasion have my attempts worked. Jason claimed to be infatuated with a girl younger than him and swore off giving anyone else a chance. I couldn't blame the guy either though, if I had had as bad relationship troubles as he did, I wouldn't give anyone a chance either.

Our table was filled with mostly seniors, and a few juniors. Jason –gym full-time substitute, football team captain, senior-, Annabeth –leader of the History club, the Math club, the Debate team, the Physics club, AND the Chess club (We all had different bets on which club she would lead next), senior-, Will –junior, nurse fill-in, vice-president of the GSA, Erin –everyone's favorite gay best friend, president of the GSA, flaming flamboyant senior-, and simple me. The only interesting things I did to gain any sort of reputation was go to every GSA meeting and become a "loyal converted success" as Erin called me, and was captain of the Boy's Swim Team and led the swim gym classes. All of us seniors had more than enough room in our schedule to fill with leading or helping to lead other classes so it became a trend. Others sat at our table sometimes too, like Thalia –soon to be leader of the girl's swim team, sophomore, butchy goth member of the GSA (many had tried to ask her what her sexuality was, but each time it changed. One time she answered saying that she was sexually attracted to sexy potatoes)-, Clovis –the most tired boy anyone has ever known-, Butch –also repeatedly asked what his sexuality was and have failed to receive an answer although Erin is determined to say that he is a dominant bear. Which is probably only for Erin's own sexual fantasies-, Chris, and Mark. We always had seats open for others, but it was nice just having a few of my closest friends. Will and I were not as close as Annabeth and Jason but he was still a good friend of mine.

"Percy, how are the swim classes going," Will chimes in.

"Actually really well, not boring at all," I tease, glancing over at Jason mockingly. He just rolls his eyes and bites his taco. "We're almost finished with the basic techniques and I'm about to start on laps and then flipping against the wall to go backwards."

"You might want to wait a bit longer before you move on from the basics," Jason comments.

"Why?"

"You know Nico Di Angelo," Jason asks me.

"Yeah," I nod, thinking back to the couple times I had run into him in the halls. He always seemed to be upset about something or embarrassed. I never bothered him about it although I tried to be his friend. Each time he pulled away from me or was silent, not that I mind his silence I just wished he would acknowledge my attempts.

"I'm sending him to your swim class instead of gym. He never participates and I'm hoping that in the swim class he will be more comfortable. I would hate to fail him."

I raise my eye brows, "For some reason it doesn't surprise me that he doesn't participate."

Jason nods, "He's a good kid though. Goes through a lot."

I nod, remembering the time that Nico had a seizure in the cafeteria. I move my head and look for the table Nico regularly occupies in the back of the cafeteria. Gazing among the scene, emo, and goth kids around I can't pick out which bundle of black is him. I turn my attention back to Jason.

"Has he said more than a few words to you," I ask him.

Jason shakes his head.

"I've had a conversation with him… well… I'm not sure it was much of a conversation," Will explains.

"The day I brought him down after Luke beat him up?"

"Luke beat him up," Erin questions.

"Yeah," Will answers him, "quite badly actually."

"Was it cause he's gay," Erin grumbles, "I swear if he beats up another gay kid I'm going to pummel him."

"Oh please Erin," Jason chuckles, "You couldn't hurt anyone even if you tried. You're a tooth pick. Leave the violence to me." Just to emphasize his point, Jason dramatically flexes his arms.

"Regardless on if he's gay or not," Annabeth interrupts the show of masculinity, "The kid obviously has problems. Nico, you're able to get anyone to talk. Out of anyone here, you would likely be the most successful in helping Nico."

I highly doubt it but no one ever objects to any of Annabeth's analysis.

"Hey! I can get anyone to talk to!" Erin wines.

"Not true," Will teases him.

"So true."

"Noooo," Jason adds, "because you're the one always talking."

Erin shows a dramatic scene of him flipping Jason off then pouts. We all laugh.

"If Nico is going to be in your swim class…." Will begins to say, his tone a bit reserved, "He'll have to wear only shorts, right?"

I blink at him, what a stupid question. "Uhm…. Yeah? That is the required attire."

"Or he could wear a speedo," Erin slips in. I sigh, always thinking sexually that one.

"Yeah… That might not go over well." We all stare at Will, waiting for him to explain. "I mean, uh," Will begins a bit flustered, "He may not be comfortable in only shorts. He seems to never take off his jacket."

"True…" Jason adds, "He never changed the few times he did participate in my class."

"Well, I'll talk to him," I say.

"Okay…. Just….." Will begins to say, his face clearly upset, showing his obvious concern over Nico.

"What is it," I persist.

"It's just that…. Nico…." Will looks to each side, as if worried someone might hear him. He looks at his food and then back to me, a sparkle of fear in his worried sad eyes, "I'm just worried about the kid. That's all."

"I think we can all agree that everyone at this table is concerned for Nico," Annabeth says. A small chorus of mumbled "yeah"'s and nodding heads go around our table.

"I really can't stand Luke," Erin growls, moving onto a new topic of conversation, "He's the biggest asshole of the school. The way he walks around like he owns the place. Do you know how many freshman this year have come to me upset and scared because Luke and his gang threatened them or already beat them or pushed them into lockers or humiliated them or SOMETHING! All that simply because he thinks they are gay. It's only been like three or four months of school!"

"He always does this," Jason tells him, "Every year Luke finds out which freshman aren't straight. He's homophobic."

"Homophobic? He's not scared of gay people? What are we going to do? Spread our rainbow fairy dust everywhere and make everyone sing Lady Gaga and Beyonce? Pah-leaze. The guy is just an asshole," Erin replies, rolling his eyes and placing his hands out at his 'please'.

"Homophobic people are ignorant," Annabeth chimes in, "They just don't understand. It's either the way they've been raised or because they think it's abnormal. But truly the only thing that is abnormal is homophobia. Bisexuality and Gay relationships are found in every species on the planet. Homophobia is only found in one species, humans."

"Thank you know-it-all, you've finally told us some actually useful information. Owe!" Jason rubs his shoulder gingerly as Annabeth sits back down in her chair, a satisfied smile on her face.

"Luke wasn't always like that," I mumble.

"Doesn't matter," Will tells me sternly, "Luke is like this now. And now is where we are."

I nod, knowing that it's disastrous for me to say anymore. Once upon a time, Luke and I came to high school together as friends. We've lived in the same apartment building together since middle school. We both went to the same public school together before coming to this high school. I look over to Annabeth, hoping to see any signs of remorse. Annabeth became close friends with Luke our freshman year, closer than her and I at first to be honest. But when I look at her angry hard grey eyes, I know she does not care to think about the past. Luke hurt her personally. I'm sure that deep down Annabeth still remembers the real Luke, but right now all she sees is the monster Luke has become.

"Yeah," Jason mumbles softly, "Someone needs to do something about him."

"Oh I love a good fight," Erin perks up, "Can I record it? Luke defiantly deserves it. Maybe I'll put the video on YouTube, that would cause him so much humiliation." Erin giggles mischievously.

"You're one devious little guy, aren't you," Will comments, staring at Erin with wide eyes.

Erin blushes, "Guilt is charged."

Will, Jason, and Annabeth chuckle. I smile, glad that these are my friends.

* * *

**Nico's POV**

"Nico, I'm glad you're here today," Jason says, coming over to the bleachers where I sit as the boys begin their warm-up jog. He smiles up at me as if we're both friends having a conversation.

_Why would you be glad that I'm here today; it's eight in the morning and I'm skipping your gym class to sit and read. I don't do anything in your class. So why would you be happy that I'm here today?_

I keep my head down as Jason jumps up onto the bleachers and sits next to me. "What book are you reading?" I look at the page number I'm on and then close the book, showing him the cover. "Oh…. Good book? It must have over a thousand pages."

_One thousand, four hundred and five to be exact. But you're not really interested in my book. Just say what you wanted to and stop acting like you like me. _

"So… It finally went through the school system and scheduling. And you officially have swim class during this block." I freeze. Swim class? I had completely forgotten about that.

"If you want, I could take you to the boy's swim locker room and pass you off to Percy, he leads those classes."

My stomach does a flip.

_Percy…. Percy leads the swim classes….. no no no… This just got so much worse….. I'll be in a pool with multiple other guys….. All of them naked except for shorts… _I feel heat rush to my cheeks . I lower my head so my hair falls around my face, blocking Jason's view.

"Nico?"

I feel as though I'm going to vomit.

"No… It's fine. I'll go there myself."

Jason is quiet for a moment before responding back, his tone cautious, "okay… well It's down the hall and the third door on the right. There will be a sign on the door saying the boys swim locker room."

I nod and walk out of the gymnasium, ignoring the set of eyes I can feel following me. I walk down the hall and into the boy's swim locker room. It's bright with full size lockers going along the room in rows, drains in the ground are everywhere. I open one of the lockers to see the bottom half open at the bottom for a drain and hooks for wet clothing along the metal walls. The top half has two shelves for whatever else. I close the locker and walk farther into the tiled room, it is warmer than I thought it would be. A set of shower heads come out of the walls lining the end where a door leads out to what I assume is the pool. Standing in the doorway looking into the pool room is none other than Percy. I walk back the way I came and go into the hallway.

_I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't do this. Percy is the teacher. He'll be watching me swim. He'll expect me to wear swim trunks. I didn't bring any with me!_

I look for any shadowy area to travel back home with but none are in sight. I wander down the hall to the large weight room; glancing in through the door window I see it's dark and empty. I walk in and step into the shadows and appear outside my Father's mansion. I walk up the steps and into door. Voices echo throughout the house.

"Hades! If he causes any more trouble, you're the one who will be reprimanded!" I vaguely recognize the shrill woman's voice but can't seem to remember the owner.

"I know that Persephone," my father responds, his voice a monotone.

_Persephone…_

"He's not stable at all! Have you ever spent more than five minutes watching him? One of these days he will kill half the school. Then you will have multiple Gods angry with you. They are already hard enough on you and refuse to give you any chance. You need to get rid of your mistake or make him better."

_Mistake… Is that what I am to you? You want to bring up Gods giving other chances? You never gave me a chance._

"My son," my father began in a stern voice, "will not act out again, I will make sure of it. And if by some… chance… he does. Then I will be the one to deal with it, not you."

"You don't know him at all. How can you be so certain? He's an abomination. He makes you look like someone to be mocked. He-"

"Nico," my father's voice booms, "Come out from behind that wall."

I walk into the unused dining room. My father and Persephone stand at the other end of the room. Persephone glares down at me as if I'm some cockroach with a grenade attached to my back. Father looks down at me with an unreadable expression. He is calm but Persephone is clearly annoyed I've interrupted her rant about me.

"Speak of the devil," she mocks at me.

Father ignores her. "What are you doing home from school?"

His question is less of a question and more of a demand to know.

_Why do you want to know? So you can continue on with your secret conversation with me about me being an unstable failure of a son? Waiting to explode, right? I better not cause you any more problems or you'll be held responsible, right? You're just worried about your own skin, you don't care about me or why I'm really home._

"I forgot something that I need," I respond back, making sure to keep my tone leveled.

"Get what you need and leave. I expect you to complete a full day of school from now on. You may not return home until it is over."

A thousand retorts hang on the edge of my tongue but the only thing I say is, "Yes Father." I ignore the Persephone's disgusted stare as I walk out of the room and up the stairs.

* * *

**Percy's POV**

_Nico is coming to join your class now_

I reply to the text from Jason

_Okay great_

I stand on the edge of the pool looking down at the water. The water seems to call me and I want to jump in and swim around for fun, but I have a class to teach. I look to the line of boys sitting on the bench.

"Alright, today we're going to go over all the basics again before we move onto more next class. Everyone get in and get used to the water, move around a bit and stretch."

A chorus of grumbles go up from the group of about 20 boys but they get it. I walk over to the door that leads to the boy's swim locker room and lean against the frame. Nico should be arriving soon and I doubt he has a pair of swim trunks with him. Five minutes go by and Nico still doesn't appear in my view.

"Begin by doing laps along the width of the pool," I tell the boys in the pool, disrupting them from their water war.

Another five minutes goes by and still no sign of Nico. I can't leave the room to go look for Nico while there are people in the pool. Nico couldn't have gotten lost on his way here so he must be hiding somewhere…

I call into the locker room, "Nico? Are you in there?" A few of the boys in the pool look up at me curious, I ignore them. I don't receive a response back.

"Hey Percy," Eric calls from the pool, "Do we have a new student?"

I look at the boys in the pool, they've all stopped doing their laps and are looking up at me. No doubt they are wondering the same thing.

"Yeah," I reply, "I'm just not sure where he is."

"Do you want me to go check the locker room?"

I smile at Eric. From what I know about Nico, sending in someone to get him would not be beneficial, "No, I'm sure he'll find his way."

Eric shrugs and says something to Jordan next to him. The two boys laugh and begin their laps once more, the other following. I sigh and watch them. Will Nico show up at all? I wonder why Nico wouldn't come to class. My thoughts drift back to earlier that day with my conversation at lunch. Will did mention that Nico may not be comfortable in just swim trunks.

Just as I try to replay the conversation with Will, a shadow catches my eye in the boy's locker room. I look away from the swimming boys to the thin boy walking towards me. Nico's head in down, his hair covering his face as he takes small steps in my direction, wearing only dark green swim shorts. He walks as stiff as a board.

I smile although I doubt he can see my face, "Hey Nico! Glad you could join us! I didn't think you would have brought swim shorts. "

Nico doesn't respond, he stops a few feet in front of me.

"Right now we're just doing laps to warm up, I was going over the basics today so you'll do great. Come on in." I push myself off the door frame and walk into the warm room. Nico follows behind me.

"Guys, this is Nico. He's going to be in our class from now on," I gesture to the thin boy behind me, his head still down as if he's intentionally covering his face with his hair. I know Nico is reserved but I wonder if he is shy too. A couple of the boys say hi, others just nod.

"Alright Nico, you can say in the shallow end today. Why don't you get in and adjust to the water, it should feel warm though."

"It's like getting into a warm bath so your balls won't shrivel into nothing!"

The boys chuckle and I grin at them, many times before we had to pool heated did we fear that we would never be able to have children. I glance over at Nico, happy to see him laughing but that's not what I see. I never imagined that anyone could look more tense but after that joke Nico looks like if you pushed him, he would fall flat.

"Nico," I say gently, "are you going to get in?"

Nico silently walks over to the pool ladder of the shallow end. Ever slowly and stiffly, he climbs down and stands in the water, keeping his arms close to his sides, his head still down. I wonder why he is so nervous but don't pester him about it. He stands in the shallow end, a yard or two away from the rest of the group.

"Everyone hold onto the ledge and practice your kicks. Keep your legs straight as you move them below the water."

The boys line up along the edge of the pool and stretch their bodies out and begin, no one near Nico. Nico slowly moves over to the edge and takes hold of the ledge. He looks over to the other guys and watches them for a moment before bringing his body up and copying them. His knees continue to bend.

"Make sure your knees are not bending," I address the whole class making sure not to put Nico on the spot. I walk along the pool and observe each person's kicks. Some splash their legs more than necessary above the water, "It takes ten times as more work to move when you're legs are bent. Keep them straight. Try not to splash the water behind you."

I reach the last person in the row then turn around. I look to the other end of the pool and watch Nico's legs, he struggles to keep them straight but by the time I walk back to him, he seems to be getting the hang of it.

"Now try pushing off from the wall and coming back to it with your kicks."

The class follows my instructions as I walk along them, watching as they push themselves a few feet away from the edge and come back. I walk back to where Nico practices alone in the shallow end and watch him. His kicks are more frantic than they others but I don't say anything, first time swimmers usually have frantic kicks. He keeps his head up in the air the whole time, trying to reach the ledge with his hands. A large red mark catches my attention on his shoulder and I stare. It has clearly been healed over but it looks recent, like someone tried to mug him a few weeks ago and slashed at him with a knife. Nico's eyes drift up towards me. I smile and his eyes go wide, he lowers his head but not before I notice a light pink shade dusting his face. I walk back down the row of boys.

"Time to do laps. Swim to the other end of the pool and wait. There is enough room for everyone to go at once. Make sure to swim in a straight line." The boys line up once more and wait for me to tell them. "Go."

About twenty teen males begin to swim the twenty feet to the other end of the pool. I plan to have them swim the hundred feet length within the next few classes.

"Keep your head down in the water while holding your breath. Come up for air every third stroke by turning your head to the side," I say, noticing Nico among a few others straining to keep their heads above the water.

I smile as I watch the few boys having trouble get used to having their face in the water and turning their head t come up for air. The boys swim back and forth and once I feel as though they all have the main idea, I call their attention back.

"Next we'll do the back stroke. It is the same motions except you swim on your back and bring your arms behind you instead of in front. Ready?"

I wait for them all to catch their breath and each of them to nod. I look over at Nico for his nod but don't receive it. Nico stands just as stiff as when he got in, his head down. The black locks look even darker as they fall around his head and stick to his face. They seem to shimmer from the water. Heat floods my cheeks and I blush. Quickly I look away from the Italian boy and cough, trying to recompose myself.

"Go."

The boys lay in the water on their backs and kick off from the wall, their arms swoop back behind them, go down and around and come back out of the water only to repeat the process. I walk along the pool, watching each of them and determining what needs to be worked on and what's good.

"Keep your feet straight just as before, kick from your hips."

"Come on ladies! Don't be pansies! Use those luscious hips!"

The boys fail at swimming backwards while laughing. I grin.

"Yeah Eric, use those luscious hips! I want to see them move!"

The swimming stops as we all watch Eric dramatically sway his hips above and under the water, right hip higher than needed then lowered as his left hip comes up. His shorts cling to his skin. I grin as I watch his hips moving, wondering what else they can do.

"Work it, work it, work it, FIERCE!" Eric shouts when he finally reaches the wall of the pool. I chuckle with the guys and look over to Nico. He stands in the water, looking up at me. I wink at him and notice a light blush before he quickly stares back down at the water. I laugh with the other guys, secretly chuckling at Nico's reaction. I never thought of him to be shy, but it explains so much now. I wonder what else I don't know about him.

"Save it for your boyfriend Eric," One of the boys call out.

"You are my boyfriend!" Eric shouts back and makes kissing faces at him.

"Pah-leaze. If I was gay, I would do SO much better than you for a boyfriend."

I call to them just before Eric goes over to him about to tackle him in the deep end. That would not end well. "Alright, alright! Come one guys. Back in your lines. Start over with the back stroke. I want to see perfect swimming now! We've wasted enough time."

Eric mumbles something to his friend and they laugh again. I ignore the two as everyone begins their swimming again. They know I'm not a very strict or annoyed person, but as a teacher I need to have more control over them. I'm not their buddy when I'm their teacher. I walk along the pool once again, making sure my face is serious as I watch each of them. I reach the deep end of the pool and look over at Nico. Something catches my eye.

I walk slowly back to the shallow end, glancing at the swimming teens as I go but truly paying attention to Nico. I watch him stroke back to the side of the pool I am on, knowing he will not be able to see me. I watch his arm movements closely, and then begin to gaze at the arms. I wait for him to bring an arm back and my eyes go wide.

All along his arm are dark red scars, some look lighter and faded, and others seem like recent scars. I walk slowly towards the shallow end to get a better look, observing each arm as it comes up out of the water. Both arms are marked all over with lines. I stop and stand a few feet away from him and gaze out at the other swimmers. I wait until I see Nico reach the other end of the pool and turn to come back around before I look at him again. Closer now, I am able to see even more. There are fresh cuts on his arms among the scars also, but each of them scabbed over. They look as though they were done within the past day but it could just seem that way because the chlorine irritating the wounds.

A horrible thought goes through my head but I push it out as I walk back towards the deep end of the pool. I ignore my growing curiosity and worry as I tell the class to begin the breast stroke and explain the movements. I refuse to allow myself to look at Nico as anything else but a student right now. I cannot be caught watching him and looking his body over as he swims.

"Alright," I call to them, glancing at the clock and noticing ten minutes left before the bell rings, "out of the water boys. You have ten minutes to prepare for your next class. Don't leave the locker room until the bell rings."

I walk over to the small table in the corner of the room by the door to the locker room and find the clip board for this class. The boys all get out of the water, shoving and joking with each other as they go into the locker room. Multiple squeaks echo into the room from the locker room as they turn the showers on to wash the chlorine off of them. I find the clip board and begin to check off the names and write down what we did today. Just as I turn around, Nico is getting out of the pool. I put the clip board on the table and walk over to the ladder where Nico begins to climb.

"Like the water," I ask, grinning at him. I lean forward and reach my hand out for him to grab it. Nico keeps his head down as he pulls himself up by holding onto the ladder. He comes out without my help and looks down at his feet, once again hiding his face. A pang of disappointment hits me by the obvious rejection but I let it go, knowing that Nico's shyness explains his closed-off behavior.

"You did well today," I tell him, "Have you ever gone swimming before?"

Nico shakes his head, still not looking up.

"Well that's going to change. I noticed you were a bit uncomfortable today. If you want to practice swimming after school, I'll stay after with you."

Nico stands still and silent. I smile lightly and crouch down. I look up at his face looking down on me. His eyes grow wide and his face becomes an obvious shade of pink. I see him shiver and quickly look away. I chuckle and stand back up.

"Nico, you don't have to be shy around me. I promise I don't bite. You're welcomed to say anything you want, as long as it's not about my girlish figure."

I grin as Nico looks at me out of the corner of his wide eye. "If you look down again I'm just going to crouch down to see your face."

Nico closes his eyes and turns his head to face me, sighing in defeat. He opens his eyes slowly and looks at me.

"That's better. We've established eye contact," I tease him, "Next step is for you to speak. But if you don't want to today, we'll work on that in time."

Nico's cheeks become a darker shade of red, his blush spreading from the tanned cheeks to all over his soft face. I smile at him, finding his nervous blush rather adorable. Nico stands frozen in place, obviously uncomfortable.

"So would you come after school tomorrow and I can help you with swimming," I ask again. Nico's eyes drift away from me as he glances at the wall, his eye brows coming together and his lips forming a small grimace.

"I… I don't know…" He mumbles. I decide that I've teased him enough and don't mention him responding.

"Well I'm after school almost every day. Anyone of my friends know that I'll be hanging out up there," I point to the top half of the room where the small three-walled room resides with the bleaches for people to watch swim competitions. "Remember that office I took you to that one day? Thalia and her team were swimming? I'm either in there or in the pool after school."

"Okay…"

Excitement builds inside me as we make progress. "Well, you might want to go shower and get changed. The bell will ring in about two minutes."

Nico nods but doesn't move.

"Is something wrong?"

Nico's eyes meet my own and all I can see is sadness, fear, and something else… I can't identify the other emotion in his eyes but I want to. "No." Nico walks around me and into the locker room. I follow him in and shut the door behind me, locking it. I walk through the mostly empty locker room and to the other end where the group of boys wait for the bell to ring. I walk into the hall with them and go directly to the nurse's office. Will sits at the desk typing something into the computer, a freshman girl laying on one of the beds.

"Will," I address him, completely serious, "I need to talk to you. Privately."

Will looks up from the computer, his face blank. "Okay… Uhm… Come on," he says and leads me to the small room with a private bed. I walk in after him and shut the door.

"You knew about Nico's arms, didn't you."

Will brings his arm up to scratch the back of his head, "Wh-what makes you think that? What's wrong with his arms?"

"Don't pretend you don't know Will," I snap, "Earlier today at lunch you thought that Nico would be uncomfortable in swim but you didn't say a real reason why. I thought you were nervous but didn't think much of it. After seeing his arms in class, I realized you know something. Spill,"

Will frowns and glances at me nervously, his voice quiet. "I can't talk about it Percy… I'm sorry…"

"What do you mean you can't talk about it? You're a nurse! You know just as well as I do that you do not have to follow the doctor-patient confidentiality code when the person is hurting themselves or being hurt by others. Tell me what you know."

"I can't talk about it Percy," Will spits out exasperatedly, "I… I made a deal."

"A deal," I repeat, confused, "what does that mean? What kind of deal."

"I'm… not sure Percy. But I know that if I break my promise, then something horrible is going to happen to me. You weren't there when I made it Percy, it was like the whole room shifted and grew darker. It felt like the darkness was coming to life. I had to hold onto my bracelet for light."

I nod silently, it's not something we often talk about but many demi-god children are given a gift from their parents such as some form of jewelry. Each item is energized and has a special ability unique to that person and their godly parent. Not everyone in the school knows who the demigod children are, but as a senior I've learned who who's parent is. Will and I both know of each other.

"Well… If you made some sort of promise or deal with Nico, then I don't want you to break it. Not only because I don't want you to break his trust, but breaking a demi-god deal… That's risky."

Will nods.

"Alright," I sigh and open the door, "Thanks for your help though."

* * *

**Nico's POV**

"Alright," Percy shouts, "out of the water boys. You have ten minutes to prepare for your next class. Don't leave the locker room until the bell rings." I stand in the water and wait as the other boys joke around with each other while climbing out of the pool and heading into the locker room.

_You can't follow them. If you see them in the locker room showering… changing… naked… No. Stop. Control. Don't be disgusting. Just look away from them. You're here for swim class. No one has noticed you earlier when they were all joking. You can control yourself longer. You barely looked at any of them and their muscular bodies… and wet hair... and swim shorts… STOP!_

"Like the water?"

I snap my head up to see Percy offering his hand for me to take. Heat rushes to my cheeks and I look down at the ladder and climb up, ignoring his out stretched hand. My stomach does it's thousandth flip of the hour as I stand in front of Percy, analyzing my feet to make sure I don't look at him. He's dressed in swim shorts and a T-shirt, but I can't risk the chance of losing control of myself.

"You did well today. Have you ever gone swimming before?"

_I did well? I completely failed! It was uncomfortable to move my arms at all because they were screaming in stinging pain and I kept bending my knees and I couldn't hold my breath long enough. I could barely do the kicking practice. I had to sneak a glance at the other to understand how to do things and more than once did I feel repulsive for blushing and wanting to stare at them. You of all people had to have noticed that I suck at swimming! _

I shake my head and refuse to look up at him. I count the tiny tiles on the floor.

"Well that's going to change. I noticed you were a bit uncomfortable today," _of course you did, "_ If you want to practice swimming after school, I'll stay after with you."

_Stay after school… With you... Just the two of us… swimming… barely clothed… _

I'm quickly pulled out of my thoughts before they can get any worse to see a handsome face smiling up at me. Percy's eyes are an amazing shining green, reminding me of flowing pure water of the ocean. I mentally slap myself as I turn my head away from him, finding a spot on the wall to focus on. I ignore the shiver that goes through me and a friendly chuckle that seems to compliment it.

"Nico, you don't have to be shy around me. I promise I don't bite. You're welcomed to say anything you want, as long as it's not about my girlish figure."

I glance over at Percy.

_Is he… joking with me? And shy? _

I try to ignore Percy's grin as he stands, "If you look down again I'm just going to crouch down to see your face."

_He's not going to stop. He's determined to talk to me. Why is he trying so hard?! _

I look over at Percy's handsome face. His smiled grows wider; I can tell it's genuine. "That's better. We've established eye contact; Next step is for you to speak. But if you don't want to today, we'll work on that in time."

_He wants me to talk. He wants to talk to me. He wants us to be friends. He's serious. And he's joking with me. He's being friendly. His smile is amazing… I want to talk to him… I want to talk to him and see him smile more. I want him to joke with me more. He's not nervous of me at all… I can't smell any fear or anxiety… _

Percy's welcoming voice snaps me out of my thoughts, "So would you come after school tomorrow and I can help you with swimming,"

"I… I don't know…" I mumble. The simple response should be easy to say, it's not like he asked me anything personal. But my stomach does a flip and I feel my cheeks heat up even more. I hope that my cheeks aren't as red as they feel.

"Well I'm after school almost every day. Anyone of my friends know that I'll be hanging out up there," Remember that office I took you to that one day? Thalia and her team were swimming? I'm either in there or in the pool after school."

"Okay…"

"Well, you might want to go shower and get changed. The bell will ring in about two minutes."

I nod, my stomach doing flips at the idea of spending time with Percy

"Is something wrong?"

I take a glance at Percy's eyes. He's genuine. Something inside me stirs.

"No," I mumble and wal around him into the locker room, purposefully ignoring him.

_Don't look at him. Don't look at him. Don't look at him. Do not look at him! How can you even think about feeling that way!? You're disgusting. Why can't you be normal! He's just being nice, that's it! Only being nice! Why do you have to take it to a different level!? What is wrong with you! Stop it! _

I take my clothes off the bench and head into the bathroom stall in the corner of the locker room and change, my thoughts racing and my stomach flipping constantly. The bell rings but I don't leave. I want to scream.

_Bianca, you would know what to do… I wish you were here….._

* * *

**I spent a lot of time on this chapter changing it and changing it again and I'm still not satisfied with it. I'm sorry if it was a bit of a letdown. I haven't updated in awhile and I apologize for that. My statements in the beginning of the chapter were all true. If anyone has any ideas or something they'd like to see or some next event or something to add to the plot, please share it. I've got a few future events planned here and there but I'm having trouble getting to that point. I hope that you still like my FF and that more people will read it and review. **

**I must give a special Thank You to one of my fans. She always gives me feedback via messaging me and gives me both negative and positive criticism. She has helped improve the story and has told others about this fanfiction. She also recently helped me a lot for this chapter because honestly I hit writers block. So Thank you very much.**

**Speaking of writers block, PLEASE GIVE ME SOME IDEAS! lol. I know the direction I want the story to go but I'm kinda stuck on the 'how to get there' part. Leave me some reviews telling me some ideas or questions you have about the story (like an event explained or about a character, etc) and maybe something you would like to see in the story. I don't think people realize how happy and giddy I get when someone comments, whether is positive or negative criticism.  
**

**A link to a list of songs I think Nico would listen to and download onto his I-pod. I always listen to this playlist on shuffle when I am writing this fanfiction. To go to it, copy it and delete the spaces. (type in 'youtube. com' first)  
**

**/playlist?list=PLLCLm5h-crmlmCoX57i_nDKomUhAIaAbb**


	13. update

**Hello everyone! I want to thank everyone who has stuck with me through writing this fanfiction. It has been one of my favorite works and if you read my other stories, you will likely agree. Now before you all get anxious, I AM NOT DISCONTINUEING THIS FANFICTION. THE ANGSTY NICO AND THE GANG IN HIGHSCHOOL WITH THEIR ABILITIES ****STORY SHALL GO ON!**** SO DO NOT FRET MY CHILDREN! But I feel obligated to update you all on my recent writing habits. **

**As you know I am a relatively slow updater, for the most part I get one chapter out a month for this specific fanfiction. This is because I want the chapters to be 20 pages or more long chapters. I also want them to be detailed and well thought out, taking my time to write them and go over them. School has started up once more and I have become busier than I thought I would. Two months into my junior year of highschool and I feel like im running around like a chicken with it's head partially cut off (yes. Partially cut off. Sad poor partially dead chicken shall not be able to join the headless chicken club).I'm trying very hard to get A's in all my classes (which for me, means LOTS OF STUDYING), be involved in a couple different clubs, still have a social life, and then have time for my hobbies, (ignoring the time consuming counseling groups I have twice a week -_- ). Unfortunately, this is effecting all of my fanfiction writing habits.  
**

**SO! Getting back to the original reason for this notice. I am putting this fanfiction on hold. I WILL BE UPDATING IT AGAIN! THE FANFICTION WILL GO ON! Just not for like... two months or so depending on how busy I am. Instead, I will be going back and editing the past chapters. I will be improving them, adding more details, placing in some subtle hints and foreshadowing for future chapter events (which I recently thought of). I will just overall be making the chapters better. If you have any ideas on things you would like me to change, add, or ideas, or anything that you think I should do to the past chapters to possibly improve them, feel free to message me or comment. I would love the feedback and ideas on how to make it better. You're my reader's, :P Ya'll know what could be better. **

**I'm not sure if you get notifications for when I update a already published chapter or not... So if wanted (comment so I know), I will possibly make another little chapter notice like this. **

**I apologize for the wait and all, but I hope you understand and will stick with me :D **

**Ta-ta for now my fans :3**


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